On Your Knees, Dog! (Patreon)

Hello voracious smut readers! I hope your new year is off to a good start.

Before I jump into the review, let me give a shout-out to our winner of the December Femdom poll: Elizabeth of Long Is The Way! She beat Rebecca of Enslaved By Sorority Sluts by one vote to be your Femdom Queen of 2021! Well deserved, in my view.

It's been a while since I've done a Femdom TV or movie review. That's mainly because there hasn't been a lot of new content crossing my radar. I'd been meaning to give this film a look for a while and finally got the chance to not long ago.

Dogs Don't Wear Pants (2019)

Summary: Sometimes what we need isn't healthy.

Much like the 2013 Japanese film R100, Dogs Don't Wear Pants is a truly rare feat of Femdom film making. The chief thing they have in common is they're both very difficult to categorize. Neither film fits neatly into one genre.

This fantastic Finnish film is equal parts Drama, Romance, Suspense and Dark Comedy. I've even seen some websites describe it as a Horror film. I don't think that's accurate by itself, though there are definitely a few horrific scenes in it (especially for the squeamish.)

Our main characters are Juha, a heartbroken heart surgeon and Mona, an all-business Dominatrix. A truly odd couple who find each other by chance. I get the impression they've both suffered some trauma, but it's only Juha's trauma that's put under the microscope, since his pain helps setup the chain of events that leads to their meeting.

Normally, I'm annoyed by stories that make emotional pain and trauma the source of someone's interest in S&M, but this film does such a good job treating the subject matter and lifestyle with respect and authenticity that I didn't mind in this case.

Juha and Mona feel like authentic people and the actors playing them have real chemistry. When Mona dons her leather and takes up her toys, you can tell there's nothing else she'd rather be doing. She's a true sadist who feasts on your pain, humiliation and unquestioning obedience. (And holy cow, do I envy her dungeon! Marvelous!)

Juha is trying to recapture something that's lost forever and discovers his masochist side in the process. I won't go into more detail than that because I don't want to spoil the whole film. The tale is told with some excellent visual context clues and re-occuring themes woven throughout. Like most good movies, it adheres to the principle of "show, don't tell."

WARNING: Spoilers ahead! Don't read further than this if you want no spoilers. Go watch the movie and come back after. (Can be streamed on Amazon, Google Play, iTunes, Vudu and YouTube!)

Here's the one big spoiler I will give: Past the point where it's obvious they have an unhealthy relationship, Juha goes to see Mona one more time and she refuses to dominate him UNLESS he submits to genuine torture. She won't give him the specific act he's craving unless he agrees to have one of his teeth pulled with a pair of pliers.

Her need to inflict pain and enjoy his suffering is equal to his need to endure torment and finally FEEL SOMETHING again. There is longing for each other in both of them beyond the BDSM dynamic, but neither of them is fully willing (or perhaps ready) to embrace it. It's an outright twisted bond they form, but it's real and that's why they keep intersecting no matter how messy things get.

Oddly enough, it's the one time Mona is NOT dressed as a Dominatrix where she is the most cruel and takes the most pleasure in the delivery of anguish to her willing submissive. It's the height of vulnerability for both characters, which makes it an amazing scene.

This movie has a somewhat open ending, but there's no doubt both of our main characters are where they should be in its final moments. I'm giving this one 5/5. Femdom cinema *this* good is rare. I recommend it highly.

So, what say you my cherubs? If the dominant woman of your dreams appeared before you and offered to collar you for life, but she wanted one of your teeth first, would you let her take it? Answer down below.

James tells me your next story will be along soon. Until then, stay naughty my eager sluts! Tata for now.

Yours Truly,

Mistress Cereza