BLOG: My other most TOXIC trait (Patreon)

This weeks episode we are joined by the ladies of Around the Way Curls and we’re talking toxic traits. I shared that one of my most toxic traits is waiting for a man to disappoint me and having really high expectations so that it is guarantee that he will fall short. I think this trait has in some ways protected me, but another ways it has hindered me from being open to all different versions of what love might look like for me.

Lately, I’ve been pondering whether or not my non negotiables in relationships are hindering my love life or if they are leading me to the right person for me. However, one of the toxic traits I didn’t share on the show is that I am a words of affirmation lover. I enjoy heavily complementing whoever I am with. However, I can turn that off quickly if I find something that turns me off. This can be really confusing for someone whose used to getting showered with my words of affirmations to then suddenly not receive them anymore. 😩 It’s not because I don’t mean what I say, it’s just that when my energy shifts away from someone I can’t fake it back. When my mind is made up of about how I feel about the situation it’s really hard for me to give energy to that situation any longer which can feel very jarring and confusing. This toxic trait doesn’t always show up for everyone but it’s something that I know that I do. It could maybe almost feel like love bombing (check out our episode narcissist 101 for context).

I can’t help it. I love to tell my lovers how fine they are and empower them to feel like their best selves! Is that really that toxic???

-Erica