BLOG: Pizza, weed, and cinnamon rolls (Patreon)

The past few days I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and like I can’t manage everything I have going on. I broke down on Wednesday and just cried on and off all day. Even almost cried in a business meeting. I was losing it. I told Jamilah I want to quit podcasting. Which is crazy cuz I really do love it. This month has kinda just been a shit show as far as content and guests. Coming up with themes and good convos is fucking hard and sometimes I feel like we fail. This month I honestly wasn’t happy with all the content we put out and had bigger hopes for Back To School September. If you felt this month was trash I’m sorry lol.

Anyway, today I felt better because I’ve been going to sleep before 10pm. However, my anxiety came back full force as I was driving yesterday. I had to drive and hr near the airport for a podcast swap and there was traffic heading back, and suddenly my anxiety started to kick in. I had to go get my daughters soccer gear, pick her up, find time to eat, take her to soccer, make dinner. All of it started to stress me the fuck out. When I got home I cried as I packed her stuff. I got in the car sucked it up but I felt like I may burst. As I pulled up to her school and waited for her I took some deep as breaths. I looked out the window and saw her clumsy cute little self walking towards me and I felt a calm come over me. She got in the car and gave me a kiss. I looked around for her soccer bag and realized I had left it at the house. Fuckkkkk.

In that moment I decided to submit. I wasn’t going to rush to go get it. Soccer was cancelled. I called my brother and he was having an equally similar day and I picked him up. We went back to my crib, jumped on the trampoline with Irie, put her to bed, and then ordered the biggest pizza we could find + cinnamon rolls. We got SUPER stoned, made a drink, and ate way to much in my bed. I felt so much better.

I don’t like to submit. It’s not in my nature but I have to learn how. Yesterday was a lesson. Thank god for friends, pizza and weed.

How’s everyone else feeling?

This Pisces moon has me EMOTIONAL AF.