BLOG: I Can Finally Breathe.... (Patreon)

I’ve struggled for over a year about finding a spot for Luna and I . Feeling like a terrible mother and adult. So many nights Luna asking “where are we sleeping tonight mommy”? ...(crushed me! ) LA is expensive af, and covid and life have been intense this year and on top of that not feeling like I have roots to get grounded in my own space has been wearing on me y’all! I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety and panic. At one point my grandmother agreed to co-sign for me then last minute changed her mind...Then I thought I found a spot, packed a car full of our stuff thinking I was getting keys that day only to be told my credit wasn’t approved . Literally just no after no after no. So many tears have been shed, and a lot of self realizations have been had. I finally moved last Monday and I can’t even express the gratitude I feel and the relief. I never want to leave lol. Getting the keys , and literally moving alllll by myself (with two guys I paid to help me) felt sooooo mf’n good! It took a long ass time. A lot of nights on Ericas couch and in her bed (I love you E). Soo many more nights crying on her shoulder feeling like no one understood and everyone was judging me but she continued to push me and push me and tell me everything was going to be ok, and she was right . I’m crying as I type this because man it’s been a long road coming and it feels so good to see Luna’s face light up in her new room. Even with only a mattress in it she’s so happy and so am I. I didn’t talk about this a lot on the podcast because I was embarrassed, but this isn’t the space for that, everybody goes through shit and we’re stronger for it. I’ve literally prayed and wished for this space everyday for months and finally it’s here and I can conquer the next chapter .... Expect more nudes, and dance routines in this mirror lol because mama’s finally in her natural habitat. HOME 💗

Xoxo,

Milah

Ps.

Thank you for always making this a safe space for us to share our truths. Love u...