Episode 267 - Top Heavy Bubble Butt (Patreon)
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IT'S 2022 AND WE'RE TAKING NO PRISONERS THIS YEAR. NO ONE IS SAFE. NOT EVEN YOUR GRANDMA. AND THIS TRAIN AIN'T STOPPIN' ANY TIME SOON. WHERE SOME OTHER SHOWS TAKE A WEEK OFF (OR 6) BECAUSE OF A LITTLE COUGH, WE'RE BRINGING THIS SHOW TO YOU BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER. I'M TALKIN ABOUT FOUR, COUNT'EM: FOUR ISSUES PER EPISODE. THAT'S RIGHT. NOT ONE, NOT TWO, NOT EVEN A THREE-CHEESE BLEND OF RAGE, BUT A XXL FOUR-CHEESE, CONSTIPATED-FOR-A-WEEK EXTRAVAGANZA! 2022! BE THERE OR ELSE!
- USITT Problematic Terminology
- Bad Online Stores
- Boomeritis
- Working with Masks
People use slang. Before, during, and after work. Things get nicknames for one reason or another, and they then are called that for dozens of years. It's not malicious, it's descriptive. The "CAUTION: WIDE LOAD" sign was created before Tiffany the 400lb Giantess was driving down the road and saw it on a truck. You start removing it, and suddenly you're going to get a lot more damaged cars. If you're so offended by words that you have a breakdown at work because someone called the big "Picky-up-a-pallet-machine" a forklift, and your parents died in a tragic fork-related spaghetti incident? The forklift is not the problem.
Have you ever gone to a store that didn't have carts or baskets and you wanted a lot of items? NO. Even tiny convenience stores have baskets for you to carry your stuff in. Have you ever gone to a store that could only process one item at a time so you had to make multiple one-item purchases? NO. That's ridiculous. Even before computers people could write down more than one thing on a receipt! Yet here we are, with online stores that don't have cart systems, don't work on the weekend, or pack their digital shelves with out of stock items, like a school bully waving around the last Snickers bar from the vending machine in your face.
You thought Covid-19 was the most transmissible modern virus? Wrong. There is something much worse out there. It takes hold slowly, leeching into the mind. First you start wanting to change things for no reason, finding fear in the routine instead of comfort. You then start spending money you should be saving for retirement on cruises and trips to Mexico. Then you have kids and realize that you don't want to raise them your self, so they get an iPad and you let school do the raising. You start forgetting that your parents left you tangible things like a house and an inheritance and decide your kids don't need any of that, because you didn't get a helping hand along the way. Then before you know it, you're pissed that you can't retire at 65 because you blew your Roth IRA on two different home renovations in 20 years, so you want your kids to take care of you, but guess what? They don't even know who you are, Robert.
SCUBA divers, dentists, woodworkers, these kinds of people have jobs that require masks. For safety! I'm sure they've had to put up with it for years. But when they clock out or go o break, they can enjoy that nice, fresh air all they want. WRONG. NOT IN 2022, BABY. Everyone gots to mask up, no matter if it hinders your work. You could be pouring sweat, begging for air, but if you pull that mask off, you're getting canned. Fired because your employer made you wear a mask that made you almost die. Nice!
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.