Episode 261 - 3D Printed Feet (Patreon)
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Ah, Thanksgiving. The one time of year that you can just engorge yourself and no one minds. Except your pants. Decadent mashed potatoes with a whole stick of butter for garnish, bread that we dried out, then soaked in juice, then dried out again, vegetables covered in cream and cheese and other deep fried vegetables. Not to mention a huge bird, usually relegated to emulsified cold cuts, that cooks unevenly and is 50% bones. But the cherry on top? A can of jellied fruit that we call sauce despite it being sliceable. And don't forget your choice of bread product to sop up all that gravy! So ignore those distant family members as you hoover up your even-larger-than-usual plate, but pace yourself, because next is the GUANTLET OF PIES. Pumpkin, pecan, chocolate peanut butter, cherry, key lime, and not to mention:
- People Telling You How To Do Your Job
- Modern Shoe Design
- Movie Theaters
- CGI Budgeting
The best thing about your job? It's yours. Sure, there may be many like it, but this specific one is yours. It is your best friend. It is your life. You must master it as you must master your life. Your job, without you, is useless. Without your job, you am useless. So when some yahoo off the street does a drive-by "here's how you're supposed to do it" or a "last guy did [BLANK] differently", you should have the god given right to shoot them in the face. You don't go to their job and smack the 72 oz Big Gulp of stupid juice out of their hand, do you?
Why are shoes so ugly these days? Who needs a neon pink and orange pair of sneakers? With velcro straps? And a waveform of an Aphex Twin song on the soles? What's wrong with you people? I'm not sure but you're not half as loony as the PSYCHOS that put WHITE on shoes. ESPECIALLY THE BOTTOM. THAT'S WHERE YOU STEP ON TO ALL THE OTHER COLORS. Even if you lived in Sackshrink, Scandinavia where there was constant snow on the ground 24/7, 365 days out of the year, your white shoes would still be dirty by the third day. That is if you could find them in your size.
Do we need movie theaters anymore? We've got big TVs now. We've got the technology to make popcorn at home and I guarantee you there's a hundred internet articles/video explaining how to get that authentic movie theater taste(hint: it's essence of 16 year old stoner mixed with a spritz of hot dog water). We've got couches and recliners, just like them. We've got nachos that cost one-tenth the price and are twice as good, and candy that doesnt cost a dollar per bite. Not to mention for the price of a large movie drink we can get a 24 pack of our favorite soda. And now we can rent the movie the same weekend it comes out, for about the same price as a ticket and a half. We can pause it to take a leak, pause it to explain to your mom who the bad guy is and why he's doing what he's doing despite the fact that if she would just wait 30 seconds, he's literally about to give the same explanation in the movie. Plus, no strangers. So, you tell me.
Gee, I wonder why this new Justice League movie bombed at the box office. Was it the lack of marketing? Online weirdos creating negativity? The director being replaced? Studio demands mucking up the final edit? THe large amount of emergency reshoots that muddle the tone of the film? Gee I wonder how this could've been prevented. Well, let's look at the budget: Big alien bad guy CGI: 2 million dollars. Cape physics: 1.5 million dollars. Aquaman underwater scenes: 8 million dollars. Removing Henry Cavill's moustache from reshoots, giving him weirdmouth: 650 million dollars. Giant war battle scene: 10 bucks.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.