Episode 238 - Chained to the Desk (Patreon)
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- Government Slow Lane
- CG Trailers
- The Smart Home
- Missing a Line Drive
Have you ever been to the dentist and the doc shows you your X-Rays and you catch a glimpse of the computers they have, running on 15 year old Windows XP computers? When they decide to upgrade those in a few years, they will graciously give those to their local state government, finally moving them into the twenty first century. Until then, you better hope they still have a User's Manual for Windows 3.1 because Karen in accounting is going to need it to run her computer. Or you could just send her the instructions yourself through a telegram.
A CG Trailer for a game used to be the hype reel. It would play when you booted it up, getting you ready for what you were going to play. They made those after the made the actual game. These days? Despite that games look as good as ever, they pay some CG Studio millions of dollars to make a 30 second "tone" piece they use to announce their game at E3. Then they start making it look like that. How about instead, you make a good game and show me what that looks like? Instead of putting out some high bar trailer that the game will never live up to.
Connected devices! Everything is connected and talks to each other these days! Your fridge can tell you're running out of ketchup, so it tells Alexa to order you some more, and when that shows up, your Amazon Home Lock opens for the delivery driver, and he walks in and starts touching himself, activating your Amazon Love Machine. He knows he shouldn't but he just can't stop, and then you walk in. You see this delivery guy humping your beloved sex doll and you lose it. You go for your Amazon Gun Safe and pull out the Limited Edition Prime Day Remington 870 with Alexa. You whisper, "Alexa, cap this fool". In an instant, a hole is punched through his chest cavity. Gore strewn across the room, you look at Cherry the Amazon Love Machine to see she has been hit. The life is fading from her eyes, her battery doesn't have much longer. And worst of all? She's not in production anymore. So starts your journey through the wastelands of 2025 to find her a new body.
Sometimes something is personally tailored to your tastes. All of its individual pieces are right up your alley. Then you try it. And it just doesn't come together. For all intents and purposes it SHOULD. But it lets you down. Even more than something you have no hopes for because it should be what you like. Some people try to force it. But you can't. It's just not for you, and you need to accept that.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!