Minisode 32 - Unskilled Labor (Patreon)

Here we are, it's the end of August. Summer is nearly at an end, and yet your kids are still at home because we live in a nation of wind up rule. The media winds everyone up and they demand action, winding up the next set of automatons, who wind up the enforcement automatons, and now you the only human left on earth is a literal demon, because you won't be wound.

Party National Conventions
Bottle Caps
Breath of the Wild
Band Beers

Next election instead of a week long jerk off fest, just send an email. Wall to wall coverage of the Presidential elections begin the second Wednesday in November every four years, so let's just leave out this big waste of tax payer money. We already know who the nominee is, we already know what they stand for, do we really need to hear another speech?

The candy is dandy, but the real deal will cut you like a mother fucker. Bottle caps are a pain in the ass. They are always on too tight and you look like a fuckin idiot trying to take them off. Now everyone makes fun of you because you couldn't get your beer open. Thanks.

Breath of the Wild may be the worst game I've ever played. People tell me, "It doesn't hold your hand, you have to discover things." Ok retard. If it doesn't hold your hand, why does everyone tell me story points I already know 14 times? Am I 4 years old, do you think I'm so stupid I can't follow a very basic and cliched plot? So you think I'm that stupid, but at the same time, you won't tell me where the broccoli man is to upgrade my storage, or even that is what the fucking seeds are for in the first place. Weird, because I literally just finished a long text dialogue segment where everyone said the same thing 3 times.

Beers need to stop attaching themselves to things that aren't beer. Bands, we know you don't give a shit about beer. You just think it's cool to have your name on stuff, that's why you sell t-shirts. So let's leave it at T-Shirts, and leave craft beer where it belongs, in a Portland toilet.

All that an a lot more in this feature length minisode! Don't forget to Vote for September's Movie Commentary!