Minisode 31 - Freedom Fascist (Patreon)

July is over and now the dog days of summer really start, but they say it's not the heat that really gets to you it's a combination of,

Bloody Marys
Lawns
Just One Errand
Locking Yourself Out

The Bloody Mary is such a lousy drink, 1 tomatos suck. 2, almost everywhere they meme them up by putting lots of random shit in there. Just give me my alcohol straight, if you can't handle it straight why even drink it?

Boomers fell in love with grass for some reason and put so much money and effort into making their yard, that they never go out onto, looks immaculate. Think about how much better the world would be if that money had been put into something useful, like holding politicians accountable for their bullshit.

Errands "Betcha can't just do one!" Errands seem to be the only time anyone tries to be efficient in their entire life. The most useless cut 3 times, measure never guy you know suddenly becomes possessed by the spirit of a 39 year old soccer Mom, who's also trying to optimize her home business, anytime an errand needs to be run. If we take this snake like route all over town, I can complete all of my errands in 20 minutes on the way to doing this one thing. Damnit Randy I thought we were just gonna go get a beer.

There is nothing more embarrassing than locking yourself out of your own home or car because you're too stupid to make sure you have the keys, or if you're really stupid like me, even though you have a plan for being locked out, you haven't actually done anything to make that plan happen. I type this from my front porch while I wait for someone to read the write up and realize I've locked my house keys in the car, the car keys in the house, and I dropped my phone into a piece of air freight bound for China. Someone please help me.

That's in for this month's minisode, thanks for supporting us!

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