Episode 186 - Show Me the Money! (Patreon)
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Football fans, welcome to the HWIDG League's Thursday Night Football Special, brought to you by Jerry's Exotic Meat Shack, they have everything from beef and bird to possum and turtle! Tonight we've got the ultimate showdown: it's the Lincoln Pre-K Chiefs versus the Golden Garden Child Day Care Center Tigers! The stands are packed, and the crowd is already getting rowdy! I don't know about you, but i've got a cool 5K resting on GGCDCC tonight, their quarterback Kyle Higgins has been on an absolute roll this season and that's WITHOUT his lucky blanket! The only way I can see Lincoln coming through tonight is if their defense has eaten all of their graham crackers and juice like good boys. So, without further delay, let's get to the national anthem on recorder, played by:
* Phased Reopenings
* Black or White
* Football Funding
* Monopolies
"Be a good little child and you can have your bars back, okay? And maybe if you're good for an undetermined amount of time, then you can come out of your sterilized plastic bubble! And whenever I decide it you can invite one friend over, okay? And maybe later we can talk about going to school again. BUT DON'T EVER GO OUTSIDE! I'm doing this for your own good. Now go put on your orange onesie." Well, thanks Mommy Mayor. While you're at it, if I'm a good boy can I have an extra cookie at snack time?
Have you ever watched a black and white movie? Or read a black and white comic? Is it actually only black and white? Not usually. It's usually in greyscale. That's because only having 2 colors to use severely limits what you can do. Yet, here we are. In a world where not only can you not be a shade of grey, or black *and* white, you must be one or the other. Rich or poor. Left or right. Murderer or saint. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. Steak or salad. Pro-skub or anti-skub. and if you're a rich, liberal, steak-eating, pro-skub, Beatles-fan? Well then you don't deserve to live.
Football. America's pastime. For watchers, it's a reason to get together and drink beer, eat meat, and criticize the athleticism of men bigger and stronger than you'll ever be. For players, it's a way to exercise in 15 second spurts for 4 hours once a week for half of the year and get paid million dollars of year for it. For everyone else it's static noise at the watercooler at best, and at worst it literally leeches money from your education. Wanna learn music, art, or drama? Good luck finding a school that hasn't already ripped out those programs to pay for a new row of seats in the stadium. Want to learn actual life skills in shop or home ec? What are you an ex-con? No, we need more money so that the football coach can be bad at coaching AND teaching.
Let's be honest. Eventually HWIDG will be part of the Amazon Podcast family, brought to you by Netflix (A Walt Disney Company), and you'll be listening to it either on your Apple Galaxy iDroid 7 or your Facebook Neuro-Implant v2.3. That's just the way it's going to go if these companies keep eating each other and end up owning everything. It means less choices. Less innovation. Less freedom. DOWN WITH THE MEGACORPS. HACK THE PLANET.
All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!