Episode 153 - Stolen Lightbulbs (Patreon)
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This is it. Halloween. Hallow's Evening. All Hallow's Eve. Samhain. Parentalia. No matter what you call it, it's time for the dead to come back to life and feast on our flesh. So gather up your torches and pitchforks and see how many waves you can get through in one life. I hear if you get through 50 waves you unlock the Headless Horseman costume and:
* Fallout 1st
* Upselling
* Bad Candy
* Halloween Haters
Bethesda. What are you doing. We know you're greedy, I mean, you were the ones who started the microtransaction craze with Horse Armor. But at least try to do it competently. Charging a monthly subscription fee in this day and age is ludicrous already, but filling it with bugs as well? I guess we shouldn't be surprised. I'm sure Todd Howard is actually just a sentient swarm of insects in a human flesh bag.
I see you're listening to Here's What I Don't Get. Could I also interest you in some nice D-cell batteries or a warranty plan for your episode? It's like a bad final boss in a video game. You've battled through aisle and aisle of braindead customers and sale prices, you get to the end boss, and it turns out to be a QTE button mash. It's why Amazon is king. Not because they don't upsell, that's all they do really, but because I can't click X on the cashier's forehead.
So, you've got immediate eaters, then your second-favorites that you add to your lunch box. Then you've got "trade quality" candy, that, sure you'll eat em, but really you wanna trade them up for something you like more than someone else. Then you;ve got your last days of candy. It's almost Thanksgiving by now and you're really hoping something got skipped by. Then there's the bottom of the bag, giveaway never eat pieces of candy. That's what these are. I don't even want to see them in someone else's bag of candy.
Fundamentalist Christians. Squeemish prudes. PTSD almost slasher victims. Cranky party poopers. There's people all 'round the world that like to take a big double-tapered chocolate yogurt emoji on the king of Holidays, Halloween. It's so multi-faceted it's hard to hate but somehow these people find out how to do it. Don;t like scary movies? Don't watch em! Enjoy the costumes and candy and pumpkins. There's so many parts to Halloween, you can pick and choose! Make it your own! The modular holiday!
All this and more on this week's CREEPY episode. Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or buy BUYING A SHIRT!