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Welcome to Here's What I Don't Vape, the only formerly non-vaping podcast to tackle all of life's strongest strains. I'm your host Tim the Handlevaper and with me as always is my friend Dab Birt. On this week's episode we try Dab's Colorado haul! He's got everything from Carrot Cake Wake n' Bake to Bob Barker's Right Hook to Alabama Thunderkitty! So sub-ohm your rig and light up with us as we discuss:

* Giving Away Time
* China Owning Amazon
* Sudden Vape Problem
* Nintendo Fanboys

Sometimes in life we get carried away when what we need to do is stop and ask ourselves if what we're doing is worth our time. Would we pay ourselves a decent amount of money to do it? If not, why are we doing it? What we really need are clones to do the stuff we don't want to do. Either have one around to do the dumb time-wasting stuff for you, or spend all your time trolling online while your clone works 90 hour weeks at work bringing in that sweet, sweet bacon. Plus, you can always answer that age old question: is it technically masturbation?

75% or more of Amazon products these days are exactly the same thing with different "company" logos slapped on. It's all cheap, straight from the factory, Chinese stuff that has dubious build quality, but is cheap enough that you'll just keep buying replacements. For instance, headphones, I just searched for headphones and only 4 out of the first 20 items were from known name brands. All the rest were cheap Chinese brands, or worse, unbranded cheap junk. This goes for just about anything you search for that isn't a specific item. And that's where they get you. You know what brand or kind of headphones you want, but grandma gets little Johnny the first thing when she searches 'headphones'.

OH NO SIX SEVEN PEOPLE HAVE DIED FROM VAPING. SOUND THE ALARMS! BAN EM! BAN EM! IT'S THESE DAMN GEN Z KIDZ WITH THEIR VAPES AND VINES AND TIK TOKS. THEY'RE KILLING THEMSELVES! Man I wish people were this mad about actual cigarettes. You know, the thing that has been killing 7 million-plus people a year and that we've known was doing so since the late fifties? It's been 60 years of increased knowledge of just how bad they are AND YET the most we've done is say "ew that stinks, please do that outside". You want to talk global atrocities with death counts in the dozens if not hundreds of millions? You wanna talk blood money? Literal blood money. Let the kids vape. What's another 7 a year?

You know who's a great mascot? Mario. Up there with Mickey Mouse as one of the most recognizable characters in the world. But, what if about half of all Disney movies had Mickey in them just because of his popularity? Doesn't sound so great, does it? Iron Man and Mickey Mouse team ups, Toy Story 5: Let’s Go To Disneyland, "Ho-ho Luke! I’m your canon father now!”, THIS SUMMER TWO LEGENDARY MOSTERS TEAM UP TO FIGHT THE GREATEST WARRIOR OF ALL TIME: AVP3. WELCOME TO THE CLUB.

All this and more on this week’s hazy episode. Don’t forget to join us on DISCORD or SUPPORT us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!

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