Episode 134 - You Can't Fist A Zombie (Patreon)
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Some days you just don't feel like you. Back in your 20's you had all the energy in the world! But these days it gets tougher and tougher every day to really let your spouse know how you feel. If your life is missing that special feeling, then it's time to talk to your doctor about Hwidgra. Hwigdra is the world's only FDA-approved rage enhancer. It's like the little blue pill for the voice in the back of your head that wants to let your boss know how much of a screw-up he is, or to give that scam telemarketer a piece of your mind. Now Hwidgra is available in a convient weekly vapor treatment! Enjoy such flavors as: bacon cheeseburger, apple pie, red bull and vodka, and:
* Ticket Fees
* Abortion
* Small Item Insurance
* Homelessness
Nickels and dimes. They add up. They look small, but someone tacks enough of them on and BAM you're paying double the original price in fees. How do you solve this? Just be upfront. Just show me the price in going to have to pay. Overestimate even! Wouldn't that be a nice surprise. Getting a lower price because you just want a QR code emailed instead of picking up a physical ticket.
Oh boy. Uncle Bill got drunk again and brought up abortion. Oh great now Cousin Hank is arguing with him. Commie bastard. Racist redneck. Sound familiar? Yeaahhhhh, maybe just skip to the news section.
Thing that need insurance: people(for car accidents and such), cars (for when you hit a person), and pricey mail shipments (can't trust package handlers). I don't need insurance on my groceries, or a pizza I just bought. They're mostly scams to make a a couple extra bucks. Believe me, I've sold plenty of "protection plans" on cheap RC cars and drones that are guaranteed to break within a week, and then you don't get a refund because of 'user error'.
You might just get deja Vu from Tab's thoughts on homelessness this week. See if this sounds familiar. He wants to round up a bunch of similar people he sees as 'below human' against their will, take them to an isolated location where only their kind is allowed, and let them slowly kill each other over scraps of food. Yikes.
All this and more on this week's episode! Voicemails, news, and paramilitary health insurance premiums! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON, and BUY A SHIRT! Patrons go vote for next month's Movie Commentary!