Episode 59 - Billable Hours (Ft. Nick Rekieta) (Patreon)
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Content
-Organic Food
-Checks (Cheques for you weirdos)
-Taxes/Fees for things you already own
We all know organic food costs more than the "regular" stuff, but does it taste as good? No way. Look, GMOs are the future, like it or not. The nanomachines they inject our food with add such a satisfying crunch! And as they die, their wriggling forms give your tongue that relieving buzz! Plus, eventually their remains get absorbed into your bloodstream and passed on to your children and that's how we get to our cyberpunk/transhumanist future and YOU WILL NOT DEPRIVE ME OF THAT SO YOU CAN PAY THREE TIMES AS MUCH FOR WORSE TASTING STRAWBERRIES.
Speaking of the future, it's pretty clear to see that we're moving towards an all digital, cryptocurrency economy and that's a shame because kids these days won't know all the hassles we've been through with checks. Writing them, depositing them, cashing them, no matter where you run into a check, odds are it'll mess with your day. Please, just give me the least human interaction possible when dealing with my money. I want numbers, not words. These kids have it made, all they'll have left are giant novelty checks, and let's be honest, we'd all prefer to use those over Bitcoin, Dogecoin, or what have you. You tried, Publishers Clearing House. You tried.
You know who still uses checks? Old people. You know what's full of old people? The government. You know what the government wants? Your stuff. And if they can't have it, they'll tax the hell out of it until you don't want it anymore. Great, now you've lost all your belongings to taxes, then you lose your home, so you're out on a corner downtown breaking nto the cars of yuppie start-up kids trying to get enough cash for a Subway sandwich. You get just enough by the end of the day and waltz in, ready to eat like a king, but you go to pay, and you're 73 cents short! How could this be?! Damn you taxes! DAMN YOU!
ll that and more on this justice filled episode! Plus, we listen to voicemails, talk about some lawsuits, and give you an update on what you can expect on the Patreon. Join the Discord for some hot Eurobeat action here: https://discord.gg/RK6q3jM