Episode 25 - Tab Moves To NC (Patreon)
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Content
Vehicle Rental Companies
Greeting Cards
Waterless Urinals
Chicks Who Break Your Toys
If you've ever rented a vehicle, you know how much of a hassle it can be. From nit-picky rules to price gouging, they'll bleed you dry of cash and sanity. Tab has several points of contention, not the least of which is the fact that North Carolina drivers are out to prevent him from reaching his destination!
Uncle Buck, on the other hand, is being bled dry in another arena; greeting cards. Who was the first person who decided "I want to send a piece of folded cardboard expressing my feelings, but I can't be bothered to actually write out my own thoughts in a cogent manner. I guess I'll just pay someone else to express my emotions for me." Whoever that person was, they need to be dragged out into the street and shot, because the trend caught on, and now you can't go a month without having to stare blankly at an aisle full of overpriced card stock and ink markings while trying to decide what kind of false narrative would be appropriate for the occasion.
That stinks, right? But does it stink as bad as concentrated, fermented piss? If you've ever used a flushless urinal, you may know the answer to that. Y'know, nothing says "modern society" like taking a piece of technology that works perfectly and tossing it back in time a hundred years. That's what a waterless urinal does; it takes a modern convenience (such as actually removing human waste from the immediate environment) and reverts it back to the technical prowess of a bucket to piss in.
But is it better to be pissed on or pissed off? If you're a guy dating a girl, I hope you don't find out the hard way, because believe it or not, gentlemen, there are ladies out there who have no qualms about destroying your personal property if you commit the cardinal sin of offending them. From your comic books to your car, nothing is safe from the fury of a woman scorned for Sega. Or Fallout.
The man with the magnificent voice, David Hopkins may be a swell guy, but this week we find out he has his share of detractors. Who? You'll have to listen to find out!