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203 (Patreon)

Published:
2022-06-12 05:00:03
Edited:
2022-06-12 09:42:27
Imported:
2022-06

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Content

Does this chapter make you feel any better about the last one? Worse? Do they read better as a pair? There is a slightly expanded section in here about the reasoning for the away mission  being set up the way it was. Would moving that into the previous chapter help, do you think, or do people really want to see a full half-chapter of posturing about stuff that can easily be inferred? In favor of just getting on with it, myself.

Leave me your thoughts below!

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Comments

Anonymous

While the posturing regarding who will enter Barstone might not be that interesting, the relations between all the guests Ascension has right now and the company is highly interesting. Who will join, who will case problems and who will leave at first opportunity are all interesting questions, and the posturing scene would give hints in addition to closing the last arc more fully. After all, the issue with the last chapter is that they don’t close up the arc, regarding all the new people. They are just fine as a slow introduction to Barstone and DKE assuming we’ll be there a while.

Anonymous
>>85683000

So I think there’s merit in at least adding a paragraph to last chapter closing down some of those issues.

Adunk

I don’t feel the posturing interactions are needed. Like you said, it can be inferred. But tone consistency is important, and people are sick of Rain having the moral depth of a teenager when he is supposed to be an adult who has (at this point) seen some real shit. Going on a self-righteous spiel when his girlfriend and everyone he cares about is literally being held hostage and in imminent danger from multiple sides is.... childish at best. Fact is, you have to prioritize what you are going to worry about, and getting bent out of shape over people he doesn’t know at this point in time is not only dumb, but inhumanly compassionate. It makes Rain less real. Nobody is that selfless, to immediately come from a hostage situation with everyone they love only to go full martyr mode when they see random people being mean or afraid.

Solo

Well, glad to know I am inhumanly compassionate.

Adunk
>>85693238

From the comfort of your home, sure, that’s easy. When shit is going down, I have my doubts. But Jesus Christ himself got pissed and beat people with a horsewhip. When your character is more selfless than Jesus, you have a writing issue.

Anonymous

With access to a particularly adept Reading user, it would be nice if Rain flexed his Custodian clout to get a few free lessons in using the skill. Seems like a pretty damn useful ability to have.

Anonymous
>>85694522

They are expressly forbidden from teaching anyone else. Plus Bartum mentioned he literally did not remember how he learned. Some Watch mind wipe crap

Monus

I personally still don't understand why Jamus and Carten are with rain. The council just seem kinda incompetent for requiring them to go with rain. The fact that there is no further explanation on why they insisted on that makes me very confused. Especially since Samson who is a prominent member in the council should see how they are a danger. The only person that might make sense on the expedition is Mlem, someone that can help negotiate prices etc, and a person with connections in the city.

L Pedersen
>>85714321

Velika threw a tantrum. She trusts Carten and Rain not to turn her in, I guess Jamus came along to mitigate Carten's stupidity. I don't even think they've been that bad if you just ignore the last chapter.

Monus
>>85714321

This is not my issue. I don't understand why Carten and Jamus are here in the first place. They are not needed and rain opposed them joining in.

Stormlock
>>85714321

And the idea of Carten or Jamus being able to help Rain against anything he couldn't vaporize or ignore all day long is laughable. Rain is a better tank than Carten and does orders of magnitude more damage than Jamus. They are absolutely dead weight. Rain has convinced the council to go along with more difficult concepts than 'I don't need inept bodyguards' before and the democracy only supersedes him in organizational matters, not what he can personally do. He's not their pet.

Froyo Baggins

God, Rain was an idiot just now. He should have allowed his contribution to be checked just to see if it would help before going nuclear option.

Anonymous
>>85694522

Both the Empire and the Watch using that brainjacking bullshit is really annoying. I'm surprised Ascention hasen't implimented some anti-mentalist protocols since it seems to be such a common theme. There was even some mentalist shenanagans going on at the the Battle of Three Cliffs. Valtreese is probably alright since apperantly Velika didn't get herself brainjacked for taking over a city and killing 80+ watch members, but the Empire seems like it would abuse the hell out of all the save-or-suck mental spells. Though if Velika is currently a mind puppet, that would explaine what she was doing defending Three Cliffs, a key location the Empire needed for their war efforts.

RedPine

I liked both chapters, i saw no glaring issues. Even if mistakes were made, i wouldnt expect Rain or any of his group to know how to handle the current situation. They are merchants, laborers, solo adventurers, and the only high ranking AND travelled people are the likes of halgrave and velika, who kinda dont want to chat up a citizen.

Cirvante
>>85739436

His few sewer quests, the Skiffun extermination, the heating plate recharging and the Mucus Monarch extermination might be enough to let him do regular quests, but he wants to talk to Branch Leader Everiss. Making a ruckus was his best bet, short of Halgrave giving him a message for them.

Stormlock
>>85745814

Not chat up a citizen sure... but why isn't Halgrave reporting back to the guild? He just got their dimension mage killed in a battle with the empire and must surely have some sort of duty to give the guild a heads up about 3 cliffs. I doubt anyone would have asked for his guild score if he showed up.

Anonymous
>>85714321

Velika might have been too afraid to sleep the past few weeks, and is acting significantly more irrational than she otherwise would. Like...she has litterally zero allies at this point now that the Watch, DKE, Guild, and Empire all hate her guts. She doesen't even have decent equipment to fall back on. The whole 'fighting naked' thing in the Three Cliffs battle was pretty funny at the time, but armor, trinkets, rings and amulets are kinda a big deal when it comes to awakened survivability. We saw with Gavin that the Knives can be effective combatants if given enough prep time. They might have some way of taking out a goldplate whos defences have been compromised.

Tycho Green
>>85694522

The Warden is unable to overcome Velikas mental defense. Lavarro used a Mind Caster, which while in use lowered here defense. Besides, there is literally no chance that Velika is controlled right now.

Anonymous

Been following the series since the first chapters posted on RR and typically don't comment since I am just along for the ride, but after seeing the reaction that people had to the last chapter and then this one, I realized that there has been something frustrating me from time to time. Namely that Rain seems to regularly regress character wise. I wonder if this has to do with your own perspective of him? Has he changed as much in your perception of him, as he has in the story? In the story he has become a powerful silverplate, physically imposing, leader and founder of a community, survivor of many near death experiences, winner of many battles, and a character heard of by distant strangers. To counter this you have given him an inner gentleness and a set of insecurities. I have no problem with gentleness. True masculinity requires it, otherwise you end up with something hard and unfeeling that will try to crush everything. However it feels like in order to allow for him to remain kind and gentle, you feel that he must have insecurities. Don't get me wrong. It was good writing to include that he possessed such imperfections. Such things also do not go away quickly, they take time and effort to heal. But while he has grown externally, he has not grown internally. None of his insecurities have grown better or worse (except maybe for his paranoia about safety, but that has been a meme since he first got his armor). He has not tempered his kindness with maturity and wisdom, thereby making it often seem like nothing but "niceguy" syndrome. The fact that he has grown so much externally, just amplifies how little he seems to have grown internally at times. The best swords across all of history and cultures possess two characteristics. First they have two key elements, a "soft" core and a hard exterior. When the two elements are combined, they create a strength and cohesiveness not found in either individually. The second characteristic is that they do not possess imperfections. The imperfections are beaten out first with fire and hammer, followed by prolonged and focused grinding. The elements for Rain's inner growth (and external) are all there. The stage is consistently set, but who he is at his core, forever remains the same insecure child that arrived in a world even harsher than our own. Somehow he has survived and seen so much, but whenever his inner dialogue is heard or he makes himself vulnerable to others, we find that the insecurities are not gone and real maturity in his thinking has not set in. The Rain of chapter 202 comes across as no wiser or more confident than the Rain of chapter 2. If anything the Rain of chapter 2 was braver simply because he possessed less information. Rain's inner man should change, and not necessarily entirely for the better. PTSD is a real thing (although I don't feel like this story warrants such a change in Rain yet, simply using it as an example), but so also is the act of someone growing wiser and more mature. Disclaimer: I really do love this story and this is probably my only real complaint. The world building is excellent, the fights are intoxicating, the characters of others outside of Rain are well developed (although there is the danger that they might never change...), there is mystery, an uncertain future and outcome, the plot continues to move and develop, and so much more. I look forward to continuing to read your work and hope to see you continue to grow as a writer.