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Chapter 15B: Day 233 – Blue

“Shayma!” My fox-girl collapsed to the floor, blood pouring from her eyes and ears, and I recalled her despite the fact that she was still connected to the estate on the other side. There was a horrible tearing sensation as the part of me over in Port Anell was ripped away but I really didn’t give a damn. “Shayma!” I tried again, but she wasn’t responding. Her health was dangerously low and still ticking downward as the void mana writhed throughout her body.

I reached out and grabbed Keri from where she was eating lunch, teleporting her next to Shayma. She toppled over and scrambled to her feet, staring around for a moment before seeing Shayma and blinking. Then she recovered her senses and hurried to Shayma’s side.

“Heal her!”  I yelled it even if Keri couldn’t hear me, and didn’t really need the direction anyway. She fairly jumped over to Shayma’s side, putting her hands on Shayma’s chest, but the numbers didn’t stop falling.

“I’m calling in my favor,” I said, and while she still couldn’t hear me the atmosphere changed. “Heal.  Her.”

Keri bowed under the weight of the command, pouring all the mana she could into it. But I could see the void Affinity that suffused Shayma swallowing it up, mere second-tier healing not enough to counteract a fourth-tier Skill. Shayma’s health reached zero and I just watched, completely helpless. Something snapped. Keri recoiled as the failure of her favor sent her sprawling backward. [Promise] cracked in half and fell to the ground.

“She’s—” Keri started, then stopped as Shayma’s body seemed to sag in on itself, reverting to black dungeon-flesh and vanishing.

Shayma was dead.

I went mad for a time.

Comments

Seadrake

What

Lictor Magnus

Well if we end up jumping another day I'm sure that city won't be around anymore.

Storyhunter

I feel like I have been trolled. Also a power the size of a country going "mad" for a time "sounds" rather bad. On another note had he thought about how to fend off the giant flying snake on the way back.

Anonymous

He doesn't need to. The snake doesn't go very far from it's lair, so he just needs to go around it.

Andrew

Thank you!

Anonymous

IMPACT CHAPTER

Anonymous

Now I get to imagine how he brings her back

Faruel

Well shit. Hopefully, he will learn from this and act like a POWER when facing actual enemies with no talking, no playing, just pure annihilation of the threat with overwhelming power. After all the other powers are not respected for their agreeableness but what they can and have done to their enemies.

taukid

*sigh* like the Wandering Inn all over again. This will probably be a cheap death fake out or some bullshit fetch quest to find a mcguffin to heal her

Anonymous

Gotta admit, not a fan of the plot point here. Your characters are so powerful at this point death shouldn't be treated as a point of drama. So if Shayma dies here it isn't because she's brave, it's because she's legendarily stupid. Why not use blues presence to flatten her into submission? Why not teleport the whole house? Why would Blue not throw up a thousand blocks of adamant stone or gold or whatever? He's attached to the house already and we've seen him have that kind of reaction time. How could a fourth tier classier have such poor control over her powers as to his a nephew or whatever? Unfortunately this isn't suspenseful, it's just characters taking a stupid pill for a dramatic cliffhanger. Feels less like character motivated action than author fiat. Sorry for the harsh criticism here, and I know it's unasked for, but I really liked the previous two books in this series. I'd recommend gutting and redoing for any official releases. Shayma doesn't need to die for drama, the kid should have died, and either they weren't quick enough to help, or they blame each other for not acting. That'd be way more interesting. As is, this chapter is just really bumming, and not because Shayma is dead. Because we all know she isnt.

Anonymous

He cant really though. His Bargain with Tanrial means he has to make it a flourishing state, and that means it has to not be the target of revenge of the rest of the world after his stewardship ends. Depending on how the magic works that could be considered failing the bargain.

Anonymous

Well, we dont know. Yet. If she survives i will agree on the mixed feelings, if she dies- mkre interesting. Also look at comments - most peeps are super excited

taukid

This. She had the idiot ball this chapter. When they started fighting she should have cancel the assimilation and portal to free her up until she could incapacitate the 4th tier. And doing this operation without all their available firmament ready to shield her.

Anonymous

I'm not sure how to feel about this. On the one hand, I like that Blue has an excuse to nuke the city. On the other, that excuse feels really ham-fisted. Edit: So the thing that really bothered me about this chapter was how they saved the last kid. Was there really a need to put a portal there and telegraph everything to Taeli? Blue can just directly teleport the kid couldn't he? I guess you can argue that they wanted to show Taeli the kid leaving by his own choice, but honestly with a 4th tier void user there, it feels kinda forced that they have the leisure to worry about that. IMO, I would suggest some edits to the chapters to make things more clear since as it is, it feels a lot like a plot hole.

Anonymous

Really dislike pseudo-deaths. It's a cheap and lazy way to inject tension into a story, because we know the character is coming back. Instead of invoking genuine feelings of loss and suspense, all you invoke by doing this is frustration. I've enjoyed every other part of your work so far, but this is one thing you ought to have stayed away from, since there is never an elegant, satisfying answer as to how the character comes back to life; it is always contrived in the worst way, and all you've accomplished is frustrating your readers and derailing the plot.

Anonymous

In this case I suspect Shaymas status as actually being a part of blue is the resolution. He will probably rebuild her soul and gain some more levels in his soul skills from it. Depending on how it is handled, this could work fine.

Alexandria Clarke

Why would the author have to edit the chapter? The characters aren't infallible perfect beings. They make mistakes. For example, not just yeeting everyone in the compound to the Caldera. In this situation where she's on the back foot in a fight with a Fourth Tier, it would be normal to make a mistake. It's even said that the situation took all her attention. "There was a soft sound as Taeli took out her sabre, and suddenly Shayma didn’t have any attention to spare for anything else. It was one thing to deal with a Taeli who was just trying to pin her down for being insubordinate. It was another to deal with a Taeli who actually wanted to do her harm." She forgot the kid was even in the room, that's how intense the fight was. When she realised, she panic'd and got a portal made.