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Recent commission for WinterSummer of some Clive x Cid electric play

It's always a treat to get commissioned to draw characters you love, and the chance to draw Cid was so exciting. Even though I drew Cid quite broad and muscled here, it's still so wonderful to me when a client allows me to add a little softness in the form of some tummy, even if it's just a lil bit of that dad tum.
 

I'm going to talk a little bit about where I went last month from here, but the tldr is that mental illness is vicious and sometimes the only answer is to rest.

My intention coming off of my last round of commissions had been to take time and create for myself again. The whole time I worked on those commissions, I craved the opportunity to paint and play with color. Now, the reason I only advertise no-color, linework commissions is because I'm just slow. And maybe it would behoove me to work on finding a faster way to render, I'm not opposed to it, but I also think the prices would scare most people off. Regardless, I wanted to paint. But then I finished my comms and I just deflated. 

A depressive spell got its claws in and trying to get myself to do any art that I wasn't obligated to for freelance work just *hurt*. It's that sandpaper on the brain feeling of executive dysfunction multiplied into a full body screaming. So the depression mounted then into my chronic pain condition flaring and I spent a lot of October just trying to get through things one minute at a time. It all just made for a nasty little feedback loop. It was only this past week that I really start to feel it shed. I'm feeling more myself again, and I'm trying not to rush into anything. I've watched some movies, I've played some games, and really tried to imbibe my own advice to just Take a Break.
Some art block can be broken through with brute force, but some can't. That's okay. Creativity, like so many other things, is cyclical. Summer's always been my hardest season and so finally slipping into fall is helping. 

I want to thank all of you for hanging around while I went dark. I really can't tell you how much I appreciate it. So, with hope, November will be brighter for us all. I hope you're all well, and I encourage you to nourish your souls - have some homemade soup, eat a pastry, watch a beautiful movie, enjoy the way the sky shapes itself against the clouds. 

Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful day.

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