Return everything as it was and continue on your way (Patreon)

I recently thought about how much everything has changed in just a year. I stopped being so joyful and cheerful. I closed myself in and apparently, my mind perceives everything as a danger. Revisiting old videos and comparing them with new ones, I realized how much I have changed. However, in the eyes, nothing has changed. It looks like a very hidden depression that I myself am not aware of. I am very worried about my state of health, but there is nothing I can do about it. Now, I feel good, but until I start going to hospitals to take tests and take very strong drugs. I no longer feel that power in my hands where I can rely on my body, knowing that I can handle any situation.

My development continues, as does my work. But due to lack of resources, I decided to go to work, in addition to my part-time jobs. I don't want to complain but to share. I haven't done this in so long and that's my problem. I stopped sharing with everyone what was happening in my life. And he stopped doing it after I left the war. I felt very bad. Hm... How to express it. I have a friend, he is like a brother to me and he was in the war. While I was trying to make a video and hide my emotions of fear and sadness, replacing it with joy and fun, he was saving his people. And here's how I can upload a photo or video where I joyfully climb somewhere when my friend thinks that he won't live to see tomorrow. External problems with finding housing and surviving abroad were also very much fueled. It’s just morally difficult for me to deal with everything that happens, or at least happens. Now, I feel better, but after one problem comes another.

My health worries me a lot. No, even quite like that. I force myself to follow this because I understand that it needs to be done now because then it will be quite late. Nothing has changed since I lived in Ukraine. In Ukraine, I got to the doctors, who may have known what they were doing, but according to the results, I only got worse. Why has nothing changed? And because I couldn’t pull it all financially, I wanted to believe that in the future, I would have a better condition to afford normal treatment and invest everything in development. As you can see, I have a lot of equipment, and I only bought it so that my quality would always be higher. I immediately knew what I wanted to do. Although my requirements were great (and I understood this), I tried to achieve this. I'm one of those "he has the newest drone, but he eats the cheapest fast food" type of people (I guess you don't have those memes in your countries, hah). Many may say that I can give myself time, and I thought so almost a year ago and took a break for half a year. And as you can see, nothing has changed for me, and the statistics have fallen very much. I do not have a capital of hundreds of thousands so that I can combine everything. All I can ask you is to watch my videos and comment in order to promote it more. I don't like to ask for help, since childhood I used to rely only on myself (maybe I will tell stories from my childhood one day).

And yeah, maybe now I'm posting not the best content. But this was necessary in order to quickly record and edit because I have such places that I will work on a lot in order to do it with the highest quality. I'm going to do my own series. Let this be my announcement.

Well, apparently I spoke out and it became a little easier for me. However, I have quite a lot to say, but it will depend on how I am ready to share it.