DCMAGR | Chapter. 28: Gun Murder (Patreon)

I laid on the couch in the living room, the light day still coming through the window. Nothing much had really happened, but I felt unwell. I never thought the Underworld atmosphere would be so… heavy? Impactful? It dragged me down as if I had weights placed on my shoulders.

“What’s up with you?” Ash asked, carrying a bag of chips and sitting down next to my legs. “Was it the meat gun?”

Meat gun⁠— oh… “No, it wasn’t the meat gun.” I shook my head and touched my forehead. Its unusual warmth transferred to my palm. I felt heated and a bit drained⁠— what was that? It shouldn’t have been like that… Had I gotten too used to feeling my surroundings too much? It was natural, but⁠— it was odd too.

“Then?” Ash asked with a raised brow.

“Where was that armory in the Underworld?” I asked back.

“Well,” Ash pondered. “Probably near the center of the city? Around the three statues probably? Don’t know, to be honest.” She shrugged.

The three statues? Center of the city? My house was more like on the outskirts… And the academy was in a similar position. The three statues that represented royalty resided at the center, and nearby were well⁠— buildings? The entire place was always relatively busy, and dare I say unsafe.

“Hmm…” I mused. “Wish I had known before going.”

Ash opened her bag of chips.

“You feel unwell because we went to the Underworld?” She asked with a confused look. “That doesn't make much sense to me, aren’t you from the Underworld to begin with?”

“Well, obviously.” I rolled my eyes. “I guess I just wasn’t prepared…?” Being honest, feeling unwell was strange, and even more so just getting a headache from the emotions.

“I suppose you’re just different.” Ash sighed. “I don’t really get you, you’re way too… Hmm.” She pondered for a second. “Maybe selfless? Cheerful?”

Ash wasn’t making much sense to me. “So, how should I be?”

“Perhaps more aggressive?” Ash ate some chips. “At least not how you’re right now, I’ll tell you that much.” Once she said that, she held a black object and pointed it at the TV.

Soundlessly coming to life an image came. Ash changed the channels until she found something that was worth watching. But that wasn’t what bothered me. Much more aggressive? Well she probably had just said that offhandedly, but I was certainly… I did feel like I fit in this place much more than the Underworld…

I frowned.

The background noise of the TV began.

‘’Welcome to⁠—'' I ignored the television or the sounds coming from it. I guess I was very not Underworld-like? Should that even concern me? I felt that while I wasn’t very Underworld-like that shouldn’t be my goal. My goal for now was to just help Ash… Even though⁠—

Ash was eating chips and looking at the TV.

‘’And that’s how the mystery⁠—’' Ignoring the television once again, I decided to simply get my thoughts straight. The Underworld shouldn’t bother me. And I simply had to focus on being stronger⁠—

‘’ALIENS!’’

I jumped from the sudden scream of the television. The screen displayed some sort of sand pyramids. What was the video even about? I shook my head. I had to at least know more about myself.

“Ash,” I called.

“Hmm?” She regarded me without turning.

“I was wondering what other things Grim Reapers can do, that, I… well… can’t?” I asked a bit awkwardly. It was an embarrassing question.

Ash pointed the black object at the TV once again, and it turned off.

“Well,” Ash started with a frown. “Grim Reapers aren’t particularly known for being amazing at combat. All they really do is use the scythe and their aura. Though I suppose it’s also the same for the others.” She shrugged before continuing. “Ones will be able to modify any type of bone as they please, and the others flesh, so… to answer your question. I don’t know.”

“I see…” I nodded looking at Ash. She seemed well⁠— uninterested? She was a bit happier to mess with me when I met her. Even if there was that⁠— err… text. That’s when I found something confusing.

“Did you expect me to be a Grim Reaper when you first met me?” I decided to ask, not really knowing what I was going to get as an answer.

Ash paused, the black object in her hand about to turn on the television. “No?” She lowered her arm. “I mean, maybe? I didn’t really care to be honest. But I had a small hunch of it hearing your nonsense? Though… you were a bit too…” Ash hesitated, her emotion becoming a bit anxious. “You were a bit too innocent? But the short answer is no.” Her mood came back to normal.

“I see… And… how do you feel about me being well⁠— that?”

“I think it’s funny.” Ash said without hesitation, making me raise a brow in confusion. She looked at me and did her signature grin. “Teasing a Grim Reaper isn’t an everyday thing for me, so it’s quite fun.”

Hearing her I couldn’t help but humph. Her grin grew wider seeing my reaction.

“Well I didn’t think my roommate would be a royal and a⁠— crazy person,” I replied, making Ash confused.

“I mean… All royals are kind of crazy?” She asked as if it was obvious. “Your case is just special.”

I paused. “Is it?”

Ash nodded. “Though, I don’t think it’s wrong. You’re much more fun to be around than all the other royals.” Ash’s words sounded quite sincere even if her mood was just slightly happy.

“Thanks…”

The conversation ended as the television was turned back on. Perhaps I had to relax and be myself. Though I was unsure. At least for now, I was going to just stop worrying for today.

The rest of the day was spent eating chips with Ash and looking at the TV, with the video that talked about aliens. It was called⁠— the unresolved mysteries of civilization.

◇ ◇ ◇

We stood right outside of an abandoned warehouse. The walls underneath the windows had stained rust, and the material was rather old. Dust blew through the wind and the poor excuse of a fence that protected the property. We were⁠, well, somewhere in the "industrial area" as Ash had called it. Cars and trucks passed every so often, but the sidewalk was devoid of people.

“So, this is my next training target?” I decided to ask, feeling a bit uncertain. I could feel something inside the building, or rather underneath. Calm and completely still. Maybe it was asleep.

Ash nodded. Today, she wore a brown onesie with long ears. “Yep, and don’t use the bone wand against this…” She pulled her phone from under her sleeve and began to read something. Eventually she shrugged. “Well I don’t know what it is, but don’t use it.”

I sighed. I hadn’t really brought the flashbang or the bone wand. But I had brought my yellow shirt with letters. The letters read ‘LIT!’ which made Ash chuckle when seeing it, but I didn’t really get what ‘LIT’ was or anything. But that didn’t matter. My point was⁠— I had forgotten to use magical clothes, so I was probably going to destroy these beyond repair.

“Don’t worry Kaiti,” Ash reassured oddly fidgeting with her sleeve. “For I have this.” She pulled the meat gun from her sleeve. “Got it this morning.”

“So you got the… meat gun…” The name just sounded wrong. I had initially dubbed it that myself, but Ash had called it the same. In the end, I couldn’t help but ask. “Is it really called 'meat gun'?”

Ash shook her head. “Don’t know and don’t care. It sounds funnier to say⁠— I’ll shoot you with my meat gun. I’ll beat you with my meat⁠—” she drew the statement into silence. “Gun.”

I scratched my head. “I guess so…”

The whirring distant sound of machinery came from the distance. It was probably a truck.

Regarding the meat gun, it was well… Like ground beef? The object was ‘L’ shaped, random chunks of marbling or black flesh filled it. Though I remembered it didn’t feel sticky on my hand last time I had grabbed it.

“Can I see it?” It looked rather gross, but I wanted to see its details first hand…

Ash paused. “Sure, but it’s not the same one as last time, so don’t get carried away.” She warned but handed it to me.

“Carried away?” I muttered while receiving it. I brought it closer to me to see it, it felt warm on my hand, but not soft or malleable for that matter, it was quite light too. It was a mixture of different kinds of flesh, though I could hardly tell what was what⁠—

“Eeek…” My eyes widened. The gun screeched. Its shape began to wiggle and move, the flesh began to separate, small flesh tubes began to crawl outside the gun. Some latched onto my hand.

“What the hell!” I panicked and shook my hand with all the strength I could muster. The gun went flying through the air while it wiggled and twisted in on itself. It was angry and anxious⁠— what kind of gun had feelings!

It landed in the middle of the road. And before I could react, the truck arrived and ran over it. The gun ⁠— if it could even be called that ⁠— was embedded onto the asphalt, its flesh akin to a bug splat.

“Good job.” Ash sighed. “You killed my gun.” There was only disappointment in her voice.

“It moves! What kind of gun moves?!”

Hearing me Ash frowned. “A flesh gun! Of course a flesh gun would move.” She said as if it was obvious. “Well, tree lady is nothing but a gun murderer. Good job.”

“How am I supposed to know it can move?” I asked desperately.

Ash shook her head in disapproval. “I told you to not get carried away and you did. You have no excuses.” I stared at Ash in silence. She wasn’t being serious, was she? “Well, whatever. I won’t help you should things get out of hand this time around.”

“Ha?” I frowned. “What does that have to do with the gun?”

“The gun is dead.” She nonchalantly said. “So yes, it has everything to do with the gun.”

I sighed. “Fine, fine… whatever…” I waved my hand not wanting to get into an argument on whether a weapon should be sentient or not.

Spoiler: a weapon shouldn’t be sentient.