Done Adulting Vol. 2 ch. 20 (Patreon)

“It’s not like she’s gonna hurt him,” Becky was telling Amanda.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Amanda responded. They were out of options. It had to be done. “Let’s go tell him.”

They walked to the living room, where Jamie didn’t hear them coming. He always wondered how such large creatures could be so quiet. They were always sneaking up on him, especially when he was in the playpen. Why he was in the playpen, he didn’t know. They weren’t going anywhere, and they weren’t getting ready for company, but he had just shrugged when Becky had asked him if he’d chill in there for a bit. He was suspicious.

“Hey, Jamester,” Becky said as she interrupted him at his coloring book and picked him up. “Can we talk for a moment?” Jamie sighed. What now? As if life hadn’t been one damn thing after another for what seemed liked weeks, what now?

“No,” Jamie said.

“What?”

“You have bad news,” Jamie explained. “I’ve decided you can’t give me any more bad news, so no, we can’t talk.”

“It’s not bad news, Jamie,” Amanda assured him, though she had been the one who was worried about it. He eyed her apprehensively.

“It is, too, bad news, or you wouldn’t both be delivering it.” Unregressed littles are perceptive and quite hard to fool.

“Just listen. Mom and I are in a jam. We’re both going out tonight.”

“Mel’s coming over?” That was terrific news.

“She’s busy, too,” Becky said.

“O. Amy?”

“Also busy.”

“Lauren and Danny?”

“Out of town.”

“Jane?”

“Had plans.”

“Maria?” Amy’s mom. Perfectly nice lady.

“Is going out with Amy.” Who did that leave?

“Andrea?” He wasn’t a huge fan, but she was nice enough.

“Sorry,” Becky said.

“Who then,” Jamie asked. “Not your mom,” he said to Becky. As far as he knew, they weren’t even in contact anymore. He shuddered to remember the experience of being babysat by Becky’s mom.

“Of course not,” Becky said. Good. No one had mistreated him like she did, not in four years in Itali.

“Jamie,” Amanda said. She sighed and held out her arms, and Becky, recognizing the seriousness of this moment, handed him over. “Jamie Bear … Donna is gonna come over.” There. She said it.

“Aw, crap!”

“James Patrick!” Becky double-named him; she was less tolerant of his potty mouth now than she was when he first arrived.

“But …” Jamie stuttered and twisted his face and bit his lip. “But … there has to be … can I stay home alone?”

“Sorry, buddy,” Amanda said. He’d never been left home alone, and they weren’t about to start now. What kind of big would leave a little alone, even an unregressed one? The kind who didn’t deserve their little, that’s who.

Jamie considered his options. He could ask to go with them, but he knew if that were an option, it would have been offered. He could ask one of them to stay home, but he didn’t want to do that.

“I think I know the answer to this,” Jamie said, “but hear me out. What if we went down to the bus station and found a vagabond to look after me?”

Jamie spent the afternoon following Amanda around. Where was she going that she hadn’t told him?

“So,” he said as he sat on her bed watching her get dressed, “who’s your date with?” Kazoo was next to him.

“Who said I’m going out on a date?”

“You’re wearing perfume. You only ever wear that when you’re going out on a date.”

“Is it too much?”

“No. It’s nice. What is it?”

“Lilac and vanilla.”

“I like it. Do I know him?”

“Are you worried about tonight?” Wow, Jamie thought, avoiding the subject much?

“About Donna? No. Maybe I’ll just ask to go to bed early.”

“I’ve already talked to her and asked her to be mellow.”

“How excited was she when you asked her?”

“So excited,” Amanda said with a half-smile, half-frown.

“Ya know, it seemed once a upon a time she had figured out not to gush at me. I think that lasted about a day.”

Amanda stopped and sat next to him. “You’ll just have to endure her attention for a little bit. You’ll be in bed three hours after she gets here anyway.”

“I know.”

“And she can’t babble at you the whole time.”

“Why does she even do that? I have a bigger vocabulary than she does.” At least so far as he could tell, because she rarely even put together a grammatically correct sentence when talking to him.

“Anything I can do to make it more bearable?”

“Can I have a beer?”

“No, you can’t, buster,” she said as she poked him in the ribs. “Just for trying I ought to tickle you silly,” she said as she playfully poked at his underarms as he clamped his arms to his sides.

“Maybe a bottle before she gets here, then,” he giggled.

“I can’t deny a bottle to a little boy. Can I finished getting dressed first?”

“Of course.”

“Why don’t you go see if Mom is ready yet.”

Even better, Jamie thought, straight from the source. She didn’t usually feed him this time of day, but she rarely put him off if he asked. Amanda helped him off her bed and sent him on his way with a pat on his butt. She noted he was wet, but he was, like all littles, almost always wet to some degree. It could wait.

Jamie walked down the hallway wondering if it made sense for him to move up here, take over Manda’s room, when she moved out. He didn’t like the idea of it not being her room anymore, or of climbing the steps every time he wanted something from his room, but then he always found it odd that his room was on the first floor and theirs were on the second.

“Mom,” he said as he walked into her room. “Mom?”

“In here, Baby Bear,” Becky answered from the en suite bathroom. He walked in and watched her get ready. She was focused on her eye liner.

“Can I have some milk before you go?”

“Sure. Wanna go wait on my bed, and I’ll be there in a minute?”

Jamie turned around and saw Kazoo right behind him. He approached the bed, and Kazoo, smart dog that he was, squatted backward and jumped for it, easily launching himself on top. He pawed the covers and laid himself down. Jamie’s technique was less athletic. He approached the bed, lifted his foot as high as he could to reach the bedframe, grabbed the covers, and pulled himself up. Or he tried to. The covers shifted, and he fell backward, landing with a thud on his butt. Kazoo looked at him, and Jamie reflected on the fact that the best thing about dogs’ many wonderful qualities is that they never judge you.

“Uh-oh,” Becky said from behind. “Well, you can’t hit that mark every time,” she said as she picked Jamie up and patted his butt. “Let’s get you fed, hmm?”

Becky didn’t wear perfume, and Jamie liked that. He liked her smell. He always wondered why he was able to notice that more on bigs than on humans. Maybe it was the lotion Becky used before bedtime, or the soap she preferred. Maybe it was just that he associated it with being snuggled into her chest. Whatever it was, Jamie liked it.

She sat down on the bed and unbuttoned the top of her blouse. She didn’t think she’d be feeding him before she left, so she had on a regular bra, which she pulled out of the way for Jamie, never the most comfortable thing, but she didn’t want to get undressed. “Here,” she said as she leaned back flat on the bed with her head propped on her pillow. She laid Jamie on top of her, and he did the rest.

“Ohh! Gentle, buddy,” she said as she stroked his hair. He was feeling anxious. “There’s my good boy.” She still liked this as much as she had the very first time. The sensation of his lips tugging on her, the soft feel of his cheek, the warmth of him, the weight of him. She switched sides after a few minutes. “Who’s Momma’s favorite bear,” she whispered.

When Jamie was done, he let her go and nestled his head in her breasts as he yawned. “Urp!”

“Excuse you,” Becky said playfully.

“Sorry.”

“You get enough?”

“Mhmm.” If anything, too much, Becky knew.

Becky reached for her phone. She was now running late.

“I gotta get moving,” she said as she sat up. Jamie lay heavy against her. “C’mon, up you go,” she said as she hoisted him to a sitting position. He sat on the covers feeling wobbly and content. “You okay,” she asked.

“Hmm?”

“You’re fine,” she chuckled as she fixed her top. “Let’s go see if Manda is ready yet.” She carried him back down the hall with Kazoo following.

“Manda?”

“Yeah, Mom?” the door was cracked, so Becky went in. Amanda was laying on her bed with her phone in hand.

“I gotta go. Can you take this little fella?” She set Jamie on her bed, and he crawled toward the top, letting himself collapse next to her. “Don’t you have to go soon?”

“About a half hour. Donna should be over by then.”

“Be safe,” Becky said. “And you be a good boy. Momma will see you in the morning.” Jamie flipped himself over.

“I wanna kiss,” he said.

“Oh” Becky cooed, “You wanna kiss goodnight?” She came around the side of the bed, bent over Manda to get to Jamie, and kissed him on the cheek. “How’s that?”

“Better,” he sighed.

“Ni-night, baby,” Becky said as she back out of the room.

“And then there were two,” Jamie said as he rolled on to his side facing Manda.

“You still didn’t tell me who you’re going out with,” Jamie said.

“No one you know.”

“Be sure to tell him I said hello.”

“What?”

“People love to be told ‘hello!’” Amanda laughed. Jamie always made jokes when nervous, whether for himself or for them. “Think about it. ‘So-and-so says hello.’ And you think, ‘How considerate of so-and-so.’ People love that.” Joke or not, Amanda knew that Jamie had better insight into people than she did. He always had, since his arrival.

“I’ll remember.”

“Do we have time for more milk?”

“Did you not get enough?”

“There’s always room for more.” She picked him up, and he laid his head on her shoulder. She started downstairs with Kazoo following.

“You want it in a cup or a bottle?”

“Bottle, please … Do you think I could have it with one of those air sickness pills?”

“How ‘bout no,” Amanda chuckled.

“Rats.”

She got to the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Warm or cold?”

“Cold.” She poured the bag into a bottle, shifted Jamie so she was cradling him, and put the nipple to his lips. He eagerly took it.

Geez, she wondered, Donna isn’t that bad, is she?

“Are you just trying to get good and milk drunk before Donna gets here?”

“That too,” Jamie said around the nipple. Well, Manda thought, he’s entitled to it after the week he’s had. The one person they hadn’t asked to sit for him was Stacy. Becky and Amanda agreed she had enough on her plate and probably wanted the time alone with Ella, and they knew Jamie would have agreed, much as he always wanted to see Ella. Amanda sat down in a kitchen chair while Jamie, his hands at his sides, finished the bottle and stretched out his tiny limbs.

“All gone,” Manda sang.

“Hehe. All gone,” Jamie mimicked.

“Let’s go wait in the living room.” Manda put the bottle on the table and carried Jamie just like he was. She put him on the carpet, and he fell to all fours and reached for the dog, pulling him close and then rolling over on to his back with the dog on top. The doorbell rang as Amanda was sitting down on the couch. She wasn’t surprised; she expected Donna to be a few minutes earlier than early.

“There she is,” Amanda said. “You be a good boy for her. No bad reports.”

“O, like she hears a word I say anyway,” Jamie said as he rubbed Kazoo’s ears.

“Well, be nice anyway.” Amanda opened the door. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Donna exclaimed. “Thanks for asking me to sit.”

“Thanks for being available.”

“Are you kidding? I canceled plans! I’ve been waiting four years to get to sit for this guy. You and your mom gotta get out more.”

Ha! She thinks they don’t get out, Jamie laughed to himself. They just don’t call you when they do.

“Well, come in.” Amanda led Donna into the living room, where Jamie was batting at Kazoo, trying to goad him into a wrestling match. “He’s been fed, and I wrote down his bedtime routine on the fridge. He got a bath this afternoon, so he should be good for that. Any questions?”

“Nope!”

Amanda turned back to Jamie, bent over him, and pried him away from Kazoo. “See you in the morning, Jamie Bear.”

“Be safe, Manda.”

“I will be.” She gave him a kiss and set him back down.

“He’s in good hands,” Donna assured her. Jamie sighed as Manda walked to the entryway and out the door.

Donna stood over him and looked down with her hands on her hips. “Just the two of us.”

“Three,” Jamie said as he pulled Kazoo into his lap. “I think you know Kazoozle.”

“Kazoozle?”

“This furry thing.” Donna got down on the floor next to them, laying on her side with her head propped up on her hand, elbow against the floor.

“Is dat your puppy? Hmm? Is dat your wittle guy?”

Jamie closed his eyes so he could roll them more politely. Wow. Just wow. “May I have a cookie, please?”

“A cookie,” she squeaked.

“It’s my ‘wittle guy’ and we’d like a cookie,” Jamie said. If she’s gonna phrase things as questions …

“Coming right up. Are you good in here on your own?”

“Um, yeah?” Donna was up and back in a flash with a cookie.

“What do you say,” she said as she held it out.

“Please,” Jamie replied tersely. He reached his head out Kazoo-style and took a bite of the soft cookie straight from her hand. I already said ‘please’. She handed him the remainder.

“What do you want to do tonight?”

“Can we watch a movie?”

“Of course!” Donna spotted the remote on the couch and reached for it, then sat back down on the floor. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Can I just flip until I find something?”

“Do you know how to work it?”

“Work what?”

“The remote.” Jamie looked at her closely, trying to discern if she was joking. He didn’t think in four years he had ever heard her tell a joke, at least a not a funny one.

“Yes, I know how to work the remote.” She handed it to him, and he turned around and started flipping through the channels. He paused on a nature documentary. A bird plucked a fish from a lake.

“O!” She snatched the remote away and flipped the channel.

“What?”

“Too violent for littles. It’ll give you nightmares.”

“About birds?”

“Here,” she said as she turned to a channel for young children. “This is more age-appropriate.”

Age? Jamie took a deep breath. Count to ten. Just count to ten. She doesn’t know better. She’s just a kid. “May I have some milk?” He was full, but anything to keep the edge off.

“Uh-huh! Is you firsty?”

“Am I what?”

“Firsty.” Jamie felt his eye twitch.

“Sure. That’s what I am.” You nit.

She at least came back with a sippy cup, and halfway through it, he once more caught Donna staring at him while he drank.

“You was firsty!”

“Alright,” Jamie said after he’d swallowed. He was feeling pretty loose with the almost two liters of breast milk he’d had. “You know what your problem is, Donna? Subject-verb agreement. That’s your problem. And this speech impediment. I’m worried about you.”

“Huh?”

“It’s ‘are you thirsty.’ And I’ma be honest, the school system here should’ve recognized your speech difficulty when you were, like, six, and gotten you into speech therapy. I’m concerned employers are going to hold that against you now that you’re out of school.”

They looked at each other. Jamie wanted some kind of reaction, something that said Donna finally saw him as a person or at least recognized that she was, as always, talking down to him. And she looked back at him with her usual blank, little-blind expression. Nothing. Alright; whatever.

“Donna,” Jamie said.

“Mhmm?”

“Could you please put the rest of this in a bottle? I wanna snuggle.”

“You do?” She got almost teary.

“Yes.” It’ll make you happy, and it’ll be quiet.

“Awww!”

Hours later, Jamie stirred in his sleep. “Hey, Manda,” he said with closed eyes. He recognized her hands.

“Hey,” she whispered.

“Is it late,” he asked with his eyes half closed.

“It’s not tomorrow yet. I thought I’d check on you before I went to bed. Good thing I did, too. You need your pants changed.”

“I was having the weirdest dream. I was a fish, and this eagle came and plucked me out of this lake.”

“Uh-huh.” She stepped over to the changing table and got a clean diaper and some wipes.

“Where’s my bottle,” he asked. Amanda searched his blankets and found the bottle of water she always put him to bed with. Donna had followed her directions. Jamie sucked down a few swallows. “I think I had too much milk.”

“I’ll say,” Amanda said as she opened his diaper. “Did you have fun with Donna?”

“What did Donna say?”

“That’s she never had more fun with you. What did you do?”

“I let her feed me a bottle and hold me until I fell asleep.”

“That was sweet of you.” Amanda pushed Jamie’s knees back and wiped his bottom.

“She’s quieter that way … Maybe you ought to try it with her some time.”

“Well, thank you for being patient with her.”

“How was your date?”

“It was okay.” She pulled the diaper out from under him, gave his butt another pass, and with one hand opened the new diaper and slid it under him. She lowered his butt, and pulled the diaper up through his legs. “Feel better?” She rolled up the dirty diaper and threw it into the pail.

“Mhmm.”

“C’mon,” she said as she lifted him on to her shoulder. “Got your baba?” She picked up his bear and carried him upstairs. He was asleep again, and she put his bear in his arms. She drew back her covers, laid him in, got herself undressed, and climbed in after him.

See, she thought as she scooched close to him. He’s a happy bitty little if you treat him right. Maybe she could teach Donna one day, or maybe not.