Done Adulting Vol. 1 Ch. 61 (Patreon)

Back in the car, Amanda sat next to Jamie so she could talk to him. Becky turned the radio off so she could hear and be heard.

“How ya feeling, buddy?”

“Fine.” Really, he was. No breakthroughs or emotional epiphanies, nothing he didn’t know about himself already. Amanda looked skeptical. “Really. Nothing new today,” he assured her.

Amanda put her hand on his knee. “Alright. You know you don’t have to talk about what you discuss with Mary with anyone, even us, unless you want to, right?”

“I know.” Jamie couldn’t remember the details of what he’d said anyway. He knew the narrative, but if he’d had to reproduce his own words, he’d come up with semi-accurate paraphrasing at best.

Amanda wasn’t so sure she liked what had just happened. Jamie had been smiling and happy just yesterday, and now he looked numb, his attention elsewhere. She understood it was a process, but what was the point if it made unhappy and would for some time when he could feel at least somewhat happy right then? Maybe Jamie had a right to just learn to live with it. She wished they weren’t in the car so that she could do the one thing she knew always made him feel better: hold him.

“Since we all have the afternoon free, Jamie, we thought we’d go to the zoo and meet Laurie and Danny. How does that sound,” Becky asked.

Jamie had mixed feelings about zoos. He liked animals, but he didn’t like to see them in cages. He hadn’t been to a zoo back home in ages. But he was curious to see what animals he shared his new world with, and he hadn’t seen Danny or Laurie since his arrival party.

Jamie rarely saw any amazon men. He assumed it was due to old fashioned gender roles, not that he had any reason to think Itali’s traditional gender roles were at all like those where he came from. But single men didn’t seem to want littles; they didn’t go into caring professions like little care; as far as he knew, they didn’t become little therapists. Jamie loved spending time with all the women in his life, and he never felt out place as a little boy, but he missed talking to other guys, and he liked Danny. Something about Danny made Jamie want to spend more time with him, like a little brother wants to tag along with his big brother.

“Sounds good,” Jamie answered, sounding in earnest, as he actually was. “Where’s the zoo?”

“It’s in Wood’s Park. That’s the biggest park in San Siena. There’s the art and history museums, the science center, the city theatre, those kinds of things.”

Jamie watched the new scenery outside the window, or what he could see of it. Just the normal things on a highway passing from a suburban area and into an urban one.

“What’s that,” Jamie asked, pointing. Through the windshield he saw a statue rising between buildings at least five miles away. It shone in the sunlight.

“That’s Solea,” Becky answered, “There used to be a stone version of her there, but it broke apart in an earthquake. That one’s been there for about 100 years. It’s on the harbor front.”

“When did the original one collapse?”

“A few thousand years ago?”

Jamie considered that. “How old is Itali?”

Becky and Amanda didn’t know the answer. People had lived there since there were people. “Um, I guess a couple thousand years before the statue fell down.”

“Wow.”

“Is that a long time where you’re from?”

“Very. Humans didn’t start living in settled communities until 5,000 years ago. They couldn’t build anything like that for probably two thousand more … Doesn’t seem that long when you think about it.”

After a minute of silence, Amanda glanced at her phone and leaned over to whisper in Jamie’s ear, “If you need to go, now would be a good time. You’re wet anyway, right?” He was, enough that he felt squishy. Sighing and looking away, Jamie did what he needed to. The confined space of the car didn’t make it easier. He eased himself back down, shuddering at the sensation, still not inured to the feeling.

They pulled off the highway a few minutes later and made a left across the overpass, directly into the park. Urban parks are so different from their surroundings, Jamie could’ve forgotten he was in a city at all. The road split in four directions, two through woods and two falling across opposite sides of the hill Jamie hadn’t realized they were even on, past picnic pavilions and signposts for the different things in the park.

They followed one of the roads, and at a corner, a large wall made to look like a rock stood out, impossible to miss for its size. Jamie could only imagine the size of the animals a wall like that must have been built to contain. If the trees were an indication, big. Jamie had never been in a redwood forest, but he didn’t think those were as large as these trees, and they were everywhere.

Rather than park in the lot, Becky parked on the street since it was free. She got out and went to the back to get their things while Amanda got Jamie out of his car seat. “We can do this in the back or in the park. Up to you.” She unbuckled him and lifted him out of his seat, which she saw was wet. “Actually, we have to do this in the car. Sorry.”

“Why?”

“You leaked. It’s not a big deal.” Easy for her to say, Jamie thought. She wasn’t about to be worse than nude in front of everyone passing by. Jamie now felt the cool wetness on the backs of his shorts and felt self-conscious that others could see the wet spots, even if no one thought anything of a little with a leaky diaper. He followed Amanda around to the back. Becky had heard the exchange and had started setting out what they needed for a change. Jamie stood there blushing.

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll take care of it.”

“Fine by me,” Becky laughed, though she also felt she wasn’t getting many of these personal moments with Jamie. She knew he preferred Amanda to do this, and she wasn’t sure why or what difference it made. She was starting to feel just a bit put out by it.

Amanda lifted Jamie into the back, and he managed to lay back on the changing mat without sitting first, remembering as he did that it made no difference after sitting in his carseat. Amanda took a black cloth from the corner near the seat and unsnapped a clasp to unfurl it. She found two loops at either end and put them over two hooks on the inside of the frame of the gate, blocking the view of passersby.

“See? A little privacy.” She got Jamie’s pants off and discovered his onesie was wet as well. “I’m sorry, Jamie, we should have gotten you changed before we left.”

“It’s okay,” he sighed. He’d either be on the changing pad anyway or uncomfortably holding it. Jamie wasn’t sure why his need to go was more urgent since he’d arrived but figured it had something to do with little food.

Amanda got him cleaned up. From the other side of the curtain they heard a woman’s voice. “Those are becoming so popular now. I honestly don’t get it. What does a toddler or little care about being seen getting her diaper changed?”

Rebecca heard it too. The two women were walking side by side and didn’t seem to think much of commenting on Becky’s purchase right in front of her.

“A good mom cares on her behalf,” Becky said.

The woman who spoke gave her a not unkind look, while the one who hadn’t spoken yet added, “I like it. If a little doesn’t care who looks at them during a change, I still care what I have to look at.”

“Thank you,” Becky replied, “It’s also good for naps. It blocks the entire back when it’s hung up all the way.”

“Clever.” The two women went on their way.

Amanda wondered what Jamie thought of that exchange. He hadn’t changed his neutral expression. When she had him in a clean diaper, Amanda said, “Let’s see what outfit we have in the bag for you.” She rummaged around, found something, and smiled coyly.

“What,” Jamie asked.

“It’s your favorite puppy shirt,” Amanda sang, pulling out the shirt with the baby bear on it. She tossed the shirt so it landed over his eyes and went to work tickling his chest and ribs and belly and underarms and feet while he writhed and laughed and tried to get away, squealing with equal parts delight and pleading.

“What are you guys doing in there,” Becky asked, knowing exactly what they were doing.

“Jamie’s tickling himself again, Mom. Didn’t think that was even possible.” Jamie lay mostly off the changing mat panting with tears in his eyes. He hated and loved when she did that. “And for real this time,” she said. She helped him sit up, and he put on his own shirt while she found some shorts for him in his diaper bag, plus his sunglasses and a hat.

“One more thing,” Amanda said, taking some sunblock from the bag and rubbing it on the parts of Jamie exposed to the sun, especially the tops of his legs. She then quickly applied some to herself. “Hey, Mom,” she said, holding the bottle out from behind the curtain.

“O! Thanks a bunch. I forgot.”

Amanda stood Jamie up. He thought she was just helping him down, but she put her arms around him and kissed him on the neck.

Jamie liked it, of course, but he didn’t need it. “Really, Manda,” he said as he stroked her hair, “I’m fine. Promise.”

“I know. But sometimes I need hugs too.” She let him go, took the curtain down, grabbed the diaper bag, and helped him down.

Her hand was on the gate when Jamie said, “Um, Manda?” He pointed to the rolled up diaper.

“O!” Amanda laughed. “Thank god one of us remembered. Nothing worse than leaving one of those in the car on a sunny day. Ha!” She stashed the diaper bag in the stroller and took the used diaper over to a trash can, saying a quick prayer of gratitude and strength for sanitation workers.

“There’s a lot of walking, Jamie. You can hop in and out of the stroller whenever you want.” Jamie opted to walk to the entrance at least, and the trio walked down the wide sidewalk. They walked under a sculpture of two dolphins touching noses and through a turnstile.

“No tickets?”

“Nope. Our zoo is free. If you don’t count taxes.”

A large fountain with a pool under it was about fifty meters from the entrance, with people flowing around it in two different directions. Danny and Laurie were sitting on the edge of the pool and waved when they spotted the trio. When they drew nearer, Danny stood up and declared, “It’s the Jamester,” like he was announcing the main act at a rock concert, and knelt down with his palm out. Jamie slapped his palm, and Danny moved it. “Up high.” Jamie smiled and gave him his high five. He did that with young kids back home, trying to get them to warm to him.

Laurie smiled and waved rather than emulate her husband’s antics. Danny stood up and gave Becky a hug, a smidge longer than just a greeting. “How ya feeling, Beck?”

Becky returned the hug. She was his big sister, but ever since he was taller than her their relationship leveled, and he gave her as much guidance and support as she did him. “O,” she answered, betraying some stress she didn’t share at home, “I’m ready for summer again, and it’s only been a week.”

Danny laughed and let her go but kept her wrists in his hands. “You’ve said that every year since you started teaching. And before that as a student.”

“What you’re feeling right now is jealousy.”

Laurie spoke up, “Have I ever told you guys how weird I thought your relationship was when we first met.” Amanda choked on a laugh, turning red.

“A few times, yeah,” Danny smiled.

“Then I met Dana and it all made sense.” She smiled and looked down at Jamie. “I heard all about your encounter with her. Any thoughts to share?”

Jamie didn’t need to think on that one. “She’s a cu … She’s careless with people’s feelings,” he replied, catching himself. Glad I’m not the only one to call her that, Lauren thought.

Danny put his arms around his sister and wife, then nodded toward Amanda and Jamie. “I think we have all the family we need right here.” He meant it, but he also wanted to put a stop to discussion of his mother, for all their sakes but especially Becky’s.

“Jamie, wuddya think? Mammals or reptiles first,” Becky asked. Jamie chose mammals.

“Jamie knows where it’s at. We mammals are pretty awesome,” Danny joked.

Looking at the animals, Jamie imagined this is what it felt like before pictures and books when a person saw a new kind of animal for the very first time. No one could dream up the variety, the colors, the abilities, the proportions, the specializations, the way nature had shaped each one to near perfectly fit its environment. All that was more impressive than the sheer size of some of them. No one could design them all. Jamie asked, “What’s that,” and when he couldn’t see past others, Daniel put him on his shoulders.

Not every animal was new to him though. They went into the ape house, and Jamie watched a silverback gorilla sitting with his back against the glass watching his extended family climb, sleep, groom, and play. Jamie loved gorillas growing up; gentle, yet a mighty force when roused to protect their family. He liked to see them, but he hated to see them there, behind glass. They deserved to be wherever home was for them, safe and free in their forest. He tapped the glass lightly and put his palm against it.

“Hey, Manda?” She knelt down.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Are they endangered here?”

“No.”

“Good.” He left his palm there for another second before taking it away and continuing down the path back into the sunshine. It wound around the building and gave them a view of an open pen where more apes played and enjoyed the sun and snoozed in the trees. Daniel picked him up for a better view.

Leaning out a little to look down against the wall, Jamie saw something moving mostly upright. At first, he thought it was a zookeeper, but then he realized it was another kind of ape. Something about it intrigued him, and he kept watching until it moved far enough away and turned, giving Jamie a good look at it.

“What do you call that one?”

“The tall one? It’s called an ‘alpamell.’ You don’t have those where you’re from?”

“Um, sort of. They’re supposed to be a myth, not really exist.”

“Maybe they went extinct a long time ago and endured as a myth. What do you call them?”

“Maybe. We call it a ‘sasquatch.’”

“The ones that live in snowy places are almost entirely white.”

“Seriously?” Weird, he thought.

From there they moved into big predator country. Jamie always wondered how predators in zoos felt when the breeze blew the scent of prey over to them. There were a few different species, but the morphology was pretty much the same as back home, evolution sculpting just a few different types of big predators that fit perfectly in their environments. Cats, canids, some of them massive.

They came to a glass wall with something large and brown curled up against it. Its fur was thick and coarse and in need of a comb. It looked like a huge lump of hair to Jamie. Danny let Jamie down, and Jamie approached the glass. The animal was visibly breathing, its huge form rising and falling slowly. Jamie tapped the glass with just a knuckle, and the thing stirred. He had to look up to see the top of it.

He tapped again. It stood, shaking itself, and in a blur turned and slammed against the glass, sending Jamie sprawling backward. Even the bigs were startled. His heart beating against his chest, Jamie saw the thing walking away, and only when it was several meters away did he get a good look at the whole of the thing. It was a gigantic bear.

Amanda bent down and helped him up by the armpits, laughing. “Did he scare ya, buddy?” She dusted off the back of his shirt and shorts. It had moved out of sight.

Eyes still wide, Jamie asked, “What do you call that?” He knew it wasn’t called a bear.

“That’s a wolf.”

Jamie’s face fell into his you’ve-got-to-kidding-me expression, and once more he felt like he was on stage breaking the third wall, the straight man to an inside joke. “Really?”

“Yeah. Dogs are their cousins.” He looked at her for some hint. If this were a joke it was both very elaborate and very good, and Jamie was impressed by every big’s commitment to it. Daniel was back at the glass trying to catch a glimpse of the thing around the corner. He’d missed the conversation.

“Danny,” Jamie asked, gesturing toward himself with his index finger as he stepped away from Amanda. Danny knelt down again. “Can we be guys for a second, a little honesty between men?”

“Uh, sure,” Danny replied nervously. He didn’t have much experience with littles and didn’t know what he was going to ask.

“That thing,” Jamie said pointing to the enclosure, “what’s it called?”

“A wolf. They’re related to dogs.” Jamie eyed him skeptically, looking for some sign Danny was being facetious. He saw none. Truth, or an impossibly elaborate joke.

“Thanks,” Jamie replied.

“Uh … any time,” Danny said, confused. He stood up, and they walked back to the group. He leaned over to Amanda and whispered, “What was that about?”

“Jamie’s got this thing about dogs. Not sure why.”

They kept walking. Jamie saw the elephants, who he especially didn’t like to see behind a fence, and ungulates of all kinds. In the largest enclosure yet, Jamie saw something about the size of an elephant, but furry, with a thick tail and long claws he could see when it sat upright.

“It’s a giant ground sloth,” Laurie volunteered. “New to you?”

“Sort of. We used to have them. They went extinct, I don’t know, like 20,000 years ago.”

They were now walking back toward the entrance, passing through the reptile and amphibian section. Some were outside. The tortoises we’re apparently in heat, something none of them had seen before, and the sound the male made with each … effort … gave them all a good laugh, though Becky led Jamie away quickly.

They went into the reptile house, which didn’t do the building justice. It was palace accommodating a menagerie of cold-blooded beasts large and small and in between.

“I’m not going down the snake corridor,” Laurie declared.

Jamie seconded the declaration. “Me neither.”

The animals started small and got larger as they got deeper into the complex. It was humid in there and smelled of perpetual wetness. By the time they reached the end, Jamie was unsure whether he had just seen dinosaurs or not.

“Want to check out the petting zoo,” Amanda asked.

They walked through a gate decorated with anthropomorphic animals. It was loud and crowded with littles and with very young big children. Jamie expected farm animals, but instead he found pets. They approached a large enclosure filled with commotion. Peering over the top, Jamie saw dogs and puppies. The familiarity of it as much as the cuteness of it made him smile.

“Can I go in?”

“Sure,” Becky answered, lifting him over the short wall.

Jamie walked a few feet in, and first one and then another dog came over to see what the new person was about. Jamie liked dogs but had never had one. He knew many of the breeds. There were Labradors and English Mastiffs, Dachshunds and Spaniels, Weimaraners and Rhodesian Ridgebacks, Shiba Inus and Poodles, Lhasa Apsos and Beagles and more.

Many of the dogs were over it, no longer excited by the people. They laid in a pile or by themselves, allowing themselves to be pet but not much engaging. Others were all wagging tail and happy panting, going from person to person sure each one was their new best friend.

The couple of dogs that came to inspect Jamie became three, then four, and then Jamie sat down on the ground and was surrounded by lolling tongues trying to lick his face and cold snouts sniffing him everywhere and the wonderful, vicarious pleasure of dogs with no sense of personal space climbing and leaning and laying on him. Jamie laid back and let the dogs get in his face and lick his hands and step on and over him and lay down against him and on him.

After a bit, Amanda quipped, “Which one is Jamie again?”

“The hairless one at the bottom,” Danny quipped.

Jamie made furry friends fast. When he stood up, a couple followed him and whined when he got out of the enclosure. Fortunately, they’re dogs and made new friends instantly. Becky brushed Jamie off.

“So what are those called here?”

“Bruins.” A very elaborate joke. “What do you call them?”

“Dogs.” Amanda eyed him suspiciously.

“I think we’ve seen everything,” Becky interjected. “Who’s hungry for dinner?”