Done Adulting Vol. 1 Ch. 51 (Patreon)

Amanda unloaded the car herself and took the various bags to where they belonged, remembering to bring in Jamie’s bear. She tossed Jamie’s new clothes in the washer along with some laundry while Becky alternately fussed over Jamie and dinner. Jamie was just glad to be home. Dinner brought the usual conversation about everyone’s day. Jamie mentioned the good parts, Amanda talked about her classes, and Becky talked about her new students.

“I’ll do the dishes, Mom.”

“Thanks, hun. I know it’s early, but how about we get you ready for bed, Jamie, starting with a real bath.” Sounded great to Jamie. Once the tub was full, Becky helped him over the side, and he slid under like a hippopotamus. The hot water silenced everything and felt so good Jamie almost imagined he could breathe under there. When he resurfaced, Becky took a washcloth, folded into in thirds, and pressed it against Jamie’s eyes as he reclined against the rear of the tub.

“So how was your day,” she asked.

“We just talked about that. It was fine.”

“Yeah, but not all of it was fine.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Mom superpower. C’mon, out with it. Ya know things get better when we talk.”

Jamie rewet the cloth without opening his eyes. He let out a mirthless chuckle; would t’were so simple. “As quiet as it is under the water, is how loud it can be in that room. Too many hard surfaces and littles. Sensory overload.”

“That loud?”

“Maybe not if you’re used to it. I’m used to it being the three of us. Could feel my blood pressure rising.”

“So what did you do?”

“I took my book over to the reading area. Turns out none of the others can read, so I had it to myself for a bit. Then some littles came over and asked me to read to them.”

“Did you?”

“Of course. Couldn’t exactly say no, and besides, we had fun.”

“You could have said no if you wanted to.”

“I know. Diane said so. I just don’t like to disappoint people.”

“What else did you do?”

“Went outside. Walked around the field by myself for a bit. No one seems to play games; they just play on the swing set. Some little named Bobby tried to pick a fight with me.”

“Tried?”

“I just walked away.”

“I’m gonna have to talk to Diane about that.”

“She knows; not the fight part but that he’s a troublemaker. His brother too, apparently. Then I climbed on this thing and fell off and this big picked me up without permission and didn’t listen to a word I said until April told her to.”

“Who’s April?”

“The big who’s … well, I don’t know the word. Teacher? Team Leader?”

“Do you like her?”

“She seems nice. After that, just lunch and a nap, and I sat with Denise until Amanda got there.”

“Why did you sit with Denise?”

Jamie shrugged. “Someone to talk to I guess. And a break from the chaos.”

None of this made Becky happy, especially the dispirited way Jamie recounted it. “So, overall, pretty crummy day?”

Jamie sighed. “I wouldn’t say that. Just … felt like an extra. I don’t think I belong there.” Jamie knew that would cause Rebecca some hurt, so he quickly followed it up with, “I’m not giving up just yet.”

“What would make it better?”

“Someone to talk to or something to keep my brain occupied. There’s just not enough to do, not unless I appoint myself an employee and start taking care of the other littles.”

“Well, Diane wouldn’t let you do that, and I don’t want you to either.”

“Neither do I.”

“Have you tried talking to any of the other littles yet, not reading but actually talking?”

Jamie sighed and shook his head. “They don’t seem like talkers. But I haven’t gotten to know them much, or at all. But still, can you imagine talking to toddlers that many hours a day, day after day?”

Becky got down on the floor next to the tub and took the washcloth off Jamie’s eyes. She soaped it up and began cleaning him. “I’m sorry, Jamie. I guess I didn’t put as much thought into this as I thought I had. Can you give it a week, and then we’ll see if there’s something to be done?”

“Guess I have to. It’s just the first day. Maybe … I don’t know.”

“Would it help if you had some harder books, or maybe school work to do?”

Jamie looked a little pained, just because that seemed fruitless. “Some, I guess, but … Ebenezer Scrooge had books.”

“Who?”

“A character in a book. He stayed alone at school during breaks and read books; he thought he was happy, but what he really needed was a friend.” Jamie was bumming himself out. At the start of the conversation he had been looking at things sort of from an outsider’s perspective. Now he hated Christmas.

“I don’t mean it like that.” Kinda do though, he thought. “Let’s just see what happens next, and tonight just let it go,” he said.

“I think we can do that tonight.”

The rest of the evening they spent in the living room together playing a board game. When Becky went into the kitchen to make Jamie’s evening bottle, Jamie told Amanda, “Don’t worry about the headphone thing. I buttered her up for you.”

“How’d you do that?”

“Told her when it wasn’t nerve shatteringly loud there, it was brain deadeningly boring.”

“Did you just say that, or …”

“No, I didn’t say that only. I told her the only littles there are too little or too oppositional.”

“Sorry. I figured something was wrong when you were sitting in the reception area. Anything to make it better?”

“Send my bear to daycare, and I’ll come to class with you?”

“Ya know, we can think about that sometimes, but we can’t do that every day.”

“I know. Just being grumpy.” Becky came back into the room. “Now ladies,” Jamie said, “I don’t want the two of you fighting over who gets to snuggle with me before bed. Plenty to go around.”

They ended up with him between them on the couch until he was asleep.

Amanda went into his room after he was put to bed and watched him sleep for a bit. This problem wasn’t so easily fixable. She went to talk to her mother, getting more upset with each step up the stairs.

“What do we do?”

“Huh?” Becky looked up from the book she was reading on her bed.

“What do we do about this?”

“Stop pacing, for one. Come sit down.” Becky patted the bedspread next to her, and Amanda sat down. Becky put an arm around her, and Amanda put her head on her mom’s shoulder. What an awful feeling, not being able to fix something for her little brother. Becky stroked her hair.

“You used to scream at daycare, did you know that? Everyone said it was a phase at first, but a month later you still did it. I think you may have been the first infant that daycare owner ever disliked.” Amanda waited for the next part of the story.

“And?”

“And you grew out of it.”

“He’s not growing. How can he grow out of it?”

“I don’t think he will. I think we’ll have to find some way to make the best of it and figure out something if there’s something else we can do with him a day or two a week.”

“Well, there’s got to be something.”

“It wasn’t easy getting a daycare to take him. A lot of places are worried an unregressed little needs too much one-on-one attention or won’t get along with the others.”

Amanda bristled. “Itali isn’t so different after all.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Everyone wants a designer little. All the same.”

“I don’t think we’re that bad.”

“Well …”

“’Well’ what?”

“Fuck that shit.”

Becky laughed and patted her shoulder. “There’s my good girl. I wish there was something we could at least do for him tomorrow.”

“I bought him some headphones and a music player.”

“I hope they’re good ones; sounds like he needs them. He’ll probably just feel better if he can shut out the racket.” Well, at least that was easy, Amanda thought.

“I want to fix it. Right now,” Amanda pouted.

“Aww, baby. I know you do. We’ll figure it out together. The three of us.” Becky rubbed her shoulder, and Amanda laid there. They both missed this time together, though they hadn’t thought much on it. Welcome to loving someone, Becky thought, where you can’t fix everything, and it fucking sucks.

“Mom? You know he starts telling jokes when he doesn’t want us to be upset?”

“I know.” Wish it worked, they both thought.