Done Adulting Vol. 1 Ch. 2 (Patreon)

Three weeks and a half weeks passed, long enough for Eric’s life to feel normal again. The heady anticipation of the first meeting led to anxious waiting and, ultimately, an anticlimax. Despite Cheryl’s recommendation, Eric didn’t contact the agency’s therapist, and he didn’t contact or hear from Cheryl. Then came the call three days ago: we should be wrapping up your background investigation soon. Are you still interested with proceeding?

As Eric waited in Cheryl’s office, he noted how soft it was. He hadn’t noticed much of anything last time, but a comfortable couch, a comfortable chair, padded carpet – how many offices were like this anymore? It was quite a homey office, and yet it was still somehow neutral, but it was better than the institutional sterility of where he spent his days.

“So,” Cheryl said as she came in, “We wrapped up your background, finance, and medical checks. I’m glad to say we found nothing disqualifying. In fact, our auditor was impressed someone with an MSW wasn’t swimming in a lot more debt. Looks like you’ve been pretty straight laced, financially speaking.”

“I’ve tried to be,” Eric answered. “Supposedly I’ll be eligible to have the remaining debt forgiven in two years, but all my coworkers say their federal loan processor found loopholes to say they didn’t qualify.”

“Well, maybe it will be moot soon. And your doctor and therapist both said you’re healthy and your depression and anxiety are under control,” Cheryl said. “You qualify for adoption.”

She let that sink in, trying to read his reaction. Eric took a moment. He didn’t smile or sigh or show any relief.

“How does that make you feel?”

“Uh, good, I guess. I’m, uh … relieved,” Eric mumbled. He forced a smile. This wasn’t the first time Cheryl had seen this reaction, but it was the less common one. More often, people were excited, like they’d just been awarded a prize. Not Eric. It was good news, but it wasn’t a prize. It was a burden coming off, leaving the carrier lighter but still tired, not yet recovered from having hefted the load so long and so far.

And regret was there as well. Not lightly did Eric think about leaving his responsibilities. If he was the kind of person who could so easily cast them away, he wouldn’t also be the kind of person who, instead of becoming inured to the suffering around him, took that suffering into his heart. If he could take it all away from the people he had tried to help over his years, he would.

No, this wasn’t a prize for Eric. This was a penance. He was guilty of having given up, that’s how he saw it. Even if no one else thought he had or would blame him for it, he was giving up and he was running away. He knew or at least hoped it would be better for him there, that he might have a chance to be happy, but at that moment in the office, there was only shame.

He recognized the mistake he had made. He was too empathetic for the path he had chosen. If I had chosen something else besides social work, he thought … But he hadn’t, and this was the closest thing to undoing it that he could imagine working for him.

“Do you still want to do this,” Cheryl asked.

“Y… yes.”

“Okay. What’s going to happen next is I’m going to give you a password to our website where you’ll fill out some paperwork. Once you’re done with it, you’ll set up an appointment with someone from our legal counsel department. You’ll meet that person to review your paperwork, and she’ll go over the adoption agreement in detail. You are our client as much as the bigs are; we’re bound by law here and in Itali to give you counsel that is truthful and to represent your best interests. If you want another lawyer to look over the agreement with you, that’s okay too.

Once that’s done, you will make your decision, and then we’ll move forward from there. You can change your mind right up until the very last minute,” Cheryl explained.

Without any questions, Eric returned to work and then to home. After dinner, he logged on to the website and began reading. After reviewing the agreement, there was a set of statistical facts about Itali:

• It has a smaller population than his home state, at just 6,000,000
• Its largest city is also its capital, San Sebastian
• A temperate climate
• It adopts fewer littles per capita than most countries in the dimension, but still has one little for every ten Amazons
• It has a robust economy that attracts a lot of foreign workers
• Its position on the rights of littles puts it at odds with several countries, and Itali is a leading member of an intergovernmental organization trying to push through enforceable      standards on dimensionary adoption laws and rights for littles, without much success

Finally turning his attention to what had been weighing on his mind, Eric reached the preferences document.

Eric hesitated over some of the options. Newborn, infant, or toddler … wiping his memory clean? Forgetting everything? Ultimately, that was a step too far. He couldn’t just forget. He may wish to, but all the people he had tried to help were a part of him, and if he surrendered every other responsibility, he would not surrender his responsibility as a witness, to remember them. What he might do with that responsibility, he didn’t know. Only that he’d feel too guilty having given that up, too.

Lose the ability to walk and talk? Become a physical and mental toddler? I’m just looking to give up adult responsibilities, Eric thought, not my body and mind.

Give up his name? He didn’t feel strongly about his first name, but his last?

But make him feel and look younger again? Fix his allergies and the soreness from where he hurt his hip riding his bike? Sounds great, he thought. He didn’t know that was possible.

At the end of the page, Eric put his electronic signature below the consent language.

• I understand the Agency and Adopting Party are bound to abide by my preferences for physical and mental alterations to my body.
• I understand I may request the Adopting Party to make physical and/or mental alterations to my body at a later date and that the Adopting Party is not bound to comply with the request
• I understand I may request changes to those preferences I have indicated are “deal breakers” and that the Adopting Party is not bound to comply with the request
• I understand that the Adopting Party may recommend physical and/or mental alterations to my body at a later date, but that I retain the right to say no
• I understand that preferences l have indicated are “deal breakers” will be abided by and that preferences I have not so indicated will be matched to the best of the Agency’s ability
• I understand that the Adopting Party retains leeway to interpret the parameters of my developmental stage-of-life within the traditional parameters of the stage-of-life I have selected for my arrival
• I understand the Adopting Party will possess parental rights over my person as defined by the Adoption Treaty between Itali and my country of origin and that the Adopting Party must abide by the Adoption Treaty and laws defining and regulating the Parent-Child relationship within Itali or cede guardianship to the Agency
• I understand I will retain the rights of a minor as defined by the Adoption Treaty and the laws of Itali
• I understand this document is not an agreement between myself and the Agency to be adopted and that additional requirements will need to be satisfied prior to a grant of approval for adoption

Eric Jacobs

February 26, 2019

As soon as he hit enter, up came a list of dates and times available for meeting with the Agency’s attorney. He checked his work calendar and found a time the day after tomorrow. He’d have to take the afternoon off, but he didn’t need to be saving PTO.