Mary and Daphne #29 (Patreon)

Well, there’s a first time for everything, and most of things happen at a fairly young age. I think my brother was twelve when he did it for the first time. Somehow I got all the way to thirty before I ran away to my grandma’s house. Or really Nana’s house. Maybe not run away, exactly, so much as disappear over there for a few hours while avoiding Mary.

It felt like going on an adventure after so many months cooped up. I had been on walks and drives but this was the very first time since March I’d gone over to Nana’s. I guess one of the benefits of having a retired friend in a quarantine is you know they’re going to be home and won’t be busy. I knocked on the backdoor and stepped back a few feet.

“Hi,” Nana said to me when she slid open her patio door.

“Hi. Can I hang out for a while?”

“Of course. Would you like to come inside?”

“Yes, but I think it’s better to stay outside.”

“Okay. Can I bring you anything?” I held up my water bottle and she stepped outside, closing the screen door behind her. We sat down in her chaise lounges under the patio umbrella.

“I’m glad you came over. I miss your visits.”

“Me too. I miss, well, everything. I wanna go out.”

“Things are starting to reopen. I’m sure you can find some safe things to do.”

“We’re thinking about it. Mary is ... she’s worried about me. She doesn’t want to take any risks. I’m worried about me, but I’m ready to take some baby steps.”

“You can’t stay cooped up until there’s a vaccine. You’ll both go insane.”

I grimaced at the very thought of that. “Mary isn’t quite there yet. I think if I weren’t immunocompromised, she’d feel different, but her exact words last night were, ‘You’re my little gold nugget, and I’m not taking you out where there are virus breathing dragons.’ ... She’s such a nerd sometimes.”

“That’s sweet of her. I can understand that. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to dip a toe in the water.”

“Literally. I wanna go to a pool so bad. Or the beach.” But it could hurt, is the thing. It seems small, but it’s really not. It’s the same risk as back in March.

“Maybe we could start small. You could come inside.”

“I think I should ask Mary’s permission first,” I said because I’m apparently I’m nine. Or not nine, just someone who knows there might be consequences to breaking the social distancing rules.

“You wouldn’t get in trouble for coming inside,” Nana said like someone who doesn’t get how domestic discipline works. I can get in trouble for anything if Mary decides.

“I’m already in trouble today,” I fessed up. “I came over to hide,” I said as the blood rushed to my face.

“What happened, sweetie?”

“I deleted something from Mary’s work computer by accident. Or at least I think I did. I would’ve tried to fix it, but she told me to just let it be. I think I got it coming when she’s done with work.”

“You shouldn’t be playing on her computer,” my Nana said in an odd way. Like, when did she become an actual nana telling me what I should and shouldn’t do?

“I was just reading the news,” I protested softly. “I just closed something by accident.”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll get in too much trouble for that. It was an accident.”

“I know. I don’t think it’s going well at work for Mary. She was in her office with the door closed for a couple hours yesterday, and she was really quiet when she came out. I don’t know why.”

I tried to talk it out of her, but she didn’t want to. I gave up and tried to just snuggle with her while we watched TV, but she ended up taking a bath with the door closed. She usually leaves it open.

“Well, I bet things will work out, whatever it is. They usually do, and I know because I’m old.”

“You are not old,” I said to her, even though she kinda is. She’s at that age where she could be old if she wasn’t energetic, but she is, so she’s just advanced in her years, as I like to think about it. I get kinda sad when I think about the people I care about getting old.

We sat there quietly for a minute, and then Nana said, “I was going to save this, but you seem like you need some cheering up. Be right back.”

I was hoping she’d come back with some wine or other consciousness altering substance, because it sucks being in your right frame of mind all the time, and it sucks worse in quarantine. Mary and I both tried to turn a corner with the pandemic diet, and I do think we both feel better, but it also sorta took away one of the few things we had to look forward to every day.

Nana came back smiling so big. That’s my kinda person, the kind that’s so excited to give a gift, which it apparently was because it was in a gift wrapped box.

“You didn’t hafta do that,” I said partly to be polite and partly because I meant it. I love giving gifts, and second to that is getting them.

“Well,” she said as she sat down again and passed me the box, “I got time on my hands and didn’t get you anything for your birthday.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything for my birthday.” Though technically as I was empress for a day, I should’ve gotten tribute from all my admirers and vassals. Good thing I’m a beneficent ruler. Really.

“It’s just a little something I made. Open it.”

Trying to have a little decorum even though fuck yeah presents, I opened it carefully.

“I wasn’t really sure if this was something you’d like, but I saw the other one and thought maybe it would be and you look so cute in the one you have so if you don’t like it you don’t hafta wear it,” she rambled nervously.

I folded back the tissue paper to find a lavender colored shirt with a rainbow on it. Okay, not something I’d wear out of the house, but okay for around the house. “Thank you. I ...” paused as I lifted it from the box. “It’s ... uh,” I tried and couldn’t even mumble. I think I blushed so hard I had a mini-stroke. “Thank ... thank you.”

“You don’t like it,” Nana concluded. She didn’t sound unhappy, more just disappointed with herself.

“No, I ... it’s just a surprise, is all,” I said covering, or trying to.

“Well, like I said, if you don’t like it that’s fine. I just took a little chance, and it gave me something to do.”

“No, I will wear it. Really. I just, um, am surprised to, um, get a onesie from you.”

“Is that what you call them? I thought a onesie was footie pajamas.”

“O, no. I call them a onesie. What do you call it,” I asked because etymology is a good distraction when you want to not talk about your Nana sewing you a onesie.

“When I was growing up,” Nana said, “we called them diaper shirts.”

Well, fuck my life. And fuck etymology, too. It failed me. And when the heck did she see me wearing a onesie?

“Heh. So, um, you sewed this from scratch?”

“No, i actually bought two of the shirts and used materials from the second to make the flap. Turn it over.”

Yep, second rainbow right on the butt. Well, it is Pride Month.

“That’s how I make them for all my grandbabies.” Nana realized what she’d just said and turned almost as red as me. “I don’t mean...”

“I know. It’s cute. I’ll definitely wear it.”

“Good. Like I said, you don’t have to be embarrassed about the things you like around me.”

“Okay,” I said, not having the heart to explain where that statement went astray, for my own benefit more than hers, though I didn’t really want to explain any more kink to Nana. “When did you see me wearing one of these?”

“Out on your patio with Mary one evening, from my upstairs window.”

“O. Guess we’re really not as alone as we think sometimes.”

“Just me,” she said, “and I don’t mind. And Mary was right about the pacifier. Too cute.”

“Well, thanks for being understanding. I should probably go home and start making dinner. Maybe that’ll get me some brownie points and Mary won’t be so mad at me.”

“I doubt very much she’s mad at you,” Nana said.

“I’m pretty sure she is. Usually if I’m in trouble, I get my consequence right away. Even in public. She only makes me wait when she’s angry.”

“In public?”

“Hmm?” Did someone say public, because I sure didn’t. Nothing happens in public. Ever. Stupid mouth saying stuff without consulting with my brain first. Where is that friggin’ pacifier when I actually need it? “Anyhoo,” I said, and Nana took the hint.

“Well, take it from me, Daffy, Mary isn’t mad at you. I can sense these things. It’s a special Nana power.”

“I just hope it wasn’t important, whatever I deleted.”

“You’ll feel better if you find out. Run along home, and maybe tomorrow we’ll talk about you coming inside my house. Or me in yours. Who knows? By the end of the week, you could even go eat out on a patio.”

I took my present home and started on dinner. I decided to make a veggie and chicken pasta salad. It was too hot for hot food, and there was enough time for it to chill in the fridge before dinner time.

I went upstairs to put my present away, and I was surprised to find Mary on the bed. I thought she was in her office. I tiptoed to my dresser and left the box there, not wanting to open a drawer and make it squeak or something.

“Whatcha doing, pumpkin,” Mary asked.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered. She rolled over and sat up. She looked like she’d been crying. I felt my stomach fall through my feet.

“I was just resting my eyes. Come sit with me.” I climbed on the bed and crawled toward her, sitting in the space she made for me beside her.

“Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” she said in the way people say that makes it clear it is not fine. Not fine at all.

Here’s the disadvantage of domestic discipline: when something bugs me, Mary has a tried and true way of getting me to talk about it, but when something is bugging her, I don’t have that option.

“No it’s not,” I said. She turned and kissed me on the head. Well, I was not gonna be put off. I can be quite forceful when called to be. “Tell me.”

“It’s just work stuff.”

“So? I tell you work stuff ... when I’m employed.”

“You got your big girl britches on today or something?”

“I’m a big girl everyday,” I said a little (but just a little – really) petulantly. “I just wanna know who made you cry so I can tell them to be nice to you.”

“I had to lay someone off today.,” she said. “I’ve never had to do that before. Adverse effect of being a boss.” She’d been in her new position for not quite a year.

“I thought your company is doing well.”

“It could be doing better. Here, sit up for me.” I did, and she stood up from the bed, turned, grabbed my ankles, and pulled so I was flat on the bed with my knees over the side. Don’t gotta be a rocket scientist to know where this was going.

“I’m sorry I deleted that thing,” I said, trying to get out of it.

“I rescued it. Just please be more careful.”

“Well, I think you should spank me for it. Very hard.” Maybe a distraction would do the trick, and I’d muuuuuch rather get spanked than hafta wear a diaper.

“No, that’s okay. No harm done,” Mary said as she got a diaper and stuff from the closet.

“But I didn’t tell you the other stuff I did today. I, um, spent more than $100 without telling.”

“Uh huh,” Mary said as she peeled my shorts down along with my underwear.

“I told lies.”

“Butt up,” she said as she lifted my ankles and bent me backward until my butt was off the bed.

“I didn’t do my chores.”

“I watched you do ‘em, silly.” She plucked a wipe from the thing and ran it where – ooh! – it was cold. Talk about a sensation to steal your train of thought.

“Well, I, um, hhh! I – Ahh! Maryyyy! Eee! – I – Ah! – I – I committed insurance fraud,” I said kinda loud with my eyes pinched shut.

“Daphne Ann!” Wait, that’s what gets her attention? She is so weird sometimes. At least her finger wasn’t ...

“You naughty girl. Look at this.” I picked my head up. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

That I wish I were a tree. Not fair. I let my head fall back to the mattress and crossed my arms over my eyes.

“Nuh uh,” Mary said, taking my arms away from my face. “You are too old to be forgetting how to clean up after the potty.”

“I do,” I whined. So unfair! Put up job! I’m good at the potty! One of the world’s all-time greats, and she damn well knows it, so there! Nyeh!

“Then what am I holding?”

“You stuck our finger halfway up my ...” SMACK! “Ow!”

“A girl your age.” SMACK SMACK SMACK

SPANK! “You just might not be ready to use the potty on your own.” SMACK SMACK SPANK!

“Mary, that is so not fair!” She practically poked me in the brain. No one is clean in there. I mean, have you heard some of the things they call that part of human anatomy? Gross.

“I decide what’s fair, little girl.”

“I. Am. Notalittlegirl!” WHACK! Okay, that one legit hurt.

“Who just got her bottom cleaned?”

“My bottom is on the outside,” I shot back. SMACK! “Ow!”

“Tsk tsk tsk.”

“Stop tsking me!” I whined again. She put my legs down, and my feet were flat on the bed.

“Now we’ll clean your front, too.”

“Mary, I just – hhh! Ooh – Mar – mmm.” It’s impossible to argue a point when someone is – ooh! Hahuhhahaha. Mary is kinda awesome at – heeheehee.

“Uou can have your underoos back tomorrow, but you had better keep them pristine, little girl, or I’ll wash your bottom myself and spank your pink little bum dry.”

That is such a mixed incentive. She’s an evil genius. She could totally run a death star.

“Now,” she said as she pulled that stupid diaper up between my legs, “you just keep this on for tonight. Maybe a break from your undies will help you remember what a special privilege they are and how important it is to keep them clean.”

“They are clean,” I protested as she sealed the tapes shut. I do gotta admit, though never to Mary, that when she gets it taped just right it feels sorta like a hug down there. She held out her hands for me to sit up, and I looked right at her and said, “Go wash.” She laughed all the way to the bathroom. I hopped off the bed, crinkling all the way, and picked up my clothes.

“Ahem,” Mary said to me from the door to our bathroom. Dammit! Dammit all to crap!

“I was just ...”

“I see what you were doing. Well?”

“They’re clean,” I said as I handed her my panties. I was just double checking, because, well, because it’s my right as a grownup to not have to explain myself. Except to Mary. Stop smirking! I AM TOO A GROWNUP!

“You know, sweetie pie,” she said with that look where you can see the evil wheels are turning in her head, “if they’re so important to you, you could always wear them under your diapees.”

“Diaper! –per. Don’t make it worse than it is,” I decided to argue because I don’t know why, “and no. That’s gross.”

“Could be a good punishment.”

“I could never wear them again.”

“You could, if we wash them well.”

“You know what I think,” I said, “I think you should wear a diaper for being so mean.”

“Don’t be silly, you silly goose.”

“Iamnotasillygoose,” I whine shouted.

“Tsk tsk tsk.”

Welp, Nana was right. Our prolonged quarantine has driven us both insane. The seeds of it were there before, but we’ve been pushed over the edge. That’s how I explain those fifteen minutes.

“Sit back down, honey.” I did. “Wuddya get,” she asked as she picked up the box.

“Nana made it for me.” I swear, you would’ve thought she’d opened the box and found pot a of leprechaun gold and spanking porn.

“It’s perfect! Did you say thank you?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s get it on you. Arms up.” I was shortly wearing the thing, and Nana had done a good job. I hadn’t noticed she’d sewn elastic around the leg holes. “It’s a good thing you’re cute,” my wife said to me after she’d stepped back and admired me. She’s always admiring me. She’s a predator, is what she is. She’s a siren out to wreck my ship and steal my picnic basket.

“You’ll have to draw her a card.”

I’m thirty. I don’t draw cards. I send thank you notes.

“Mary?”

“Mhmm?” I took her hand and sat back down on the bed and she sat with me.

“I think you should spank me.”

“Why is that, honey?”

“You had a bad day. You’ll feel better.”

“I do feel better.”

“I don’t believe you. I think you’re covering.”

“C’mere.” I scooched over. “Today sucked. I hope I never have to do that again, and I feel awful that I had to. It wasn’t my choice, and I feel much, much worse for that person, but I want you to know that we’re going to be okay, and that I don’t want you worrying about that or about my work or about any of that stuff.”

“But I do.”

“But you shouldn’t.”

“But I should. We’re a team. That’s how it works. Lemme do something to make you feel better.”

“You did, honey.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Well, let’s see what you did. You obeyed, you held still, you made the most adorable little faces, you turned the prettiest shades of red, you pouted o so cutely, and you’re pretty as a picture in your rainbow onesie ... and the grumpy face you’re making right now is too much to even stand,” she added with a giggle. She patted her lap, and I swung my legs over and gave her the hug she needed.

“You’re not allowed to be sad alone,” I lectured her. “You’d have given me an earful if I wouldn’t say what was bothering me and spent the evening in the bathtub alone.”

“Of course I would’ve. You’re too little to deal with emotions that strong all on your lonesome.”

“Mary, I’m trying to be serious here.”

“I know, sweetie. I’m sorry. I’m okay now.” THWUMP.

“Urghmmm.”

“You are just a whiney butt today.” THWUMP.

Fine. If patting my butt is gonna make her smile, fine. Just friggin’ fine.

“Mary? Can we go out soon?”

“Let’s talk about it after dinner.”

“Mary, if I didn’t delete your thing, why do I hafta a wear a punishment diaper?”

“You’re not, little girl.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s a diaper,” Mary said, tapping out the last two syllables on my nose. I’m pretty sure she’d just wrapped a sympathy card around my butt. Well, that’s new and different.