Crashlanding in Frogland! 1 (Patreon)

Crashlanding in Frogland! - or ‘Among the Newts and the Frogs, the Thirst is unreal!’ (Amphibia, Human!SI)

If you do a good job, I will give you a little treasure my grandpa, or great-granduncle, has left behind for someone like you, John!

That’s how I got swindled into taking a job from my ‘uncle’. My name is John Bukharin, I should have said no from the get-go in going to live in Los Angeles, but now I am stuck here and I do what I have to do.

When Auntie Nicola approached me to become her ‘apprentice, I kind of had no choice but to get his offer for an affordable legal job at his thrift store.

Still, just a week into the job, and I could tell the place reeked of scams left and right. Lots of stuff there was junk the woman had found while going through a world trip to ‘find herself’.

Still, she paid me well to just ‘do my job and not disturb the clients’. The only times I was allowed to do the latter was mostly when it came to people feeling ‘upsetted’ over the state of some products.

The Thrift Stop was, by all means, not a good shop for its products’ quality. Shirts were good and there were some fancy-looking items that were not meant to do much but work as fancy paperweights.

But stuff like Ottomans, tables and other pieces of furniture were long close to their expiration date. So, it was no surprise that, after being removed from their state of miraculous stasis within the shop, they end up falling apart in their new locations.

Luckily for my Auntie, which also was good for me, the items themselves were checked to be ‘old and in bad shape’. So, those that didn’t check the labels were just begging to be scammed like that.

Some were ‘understanding’, some were less. That’s why the shop had a taser and the appropriate permit for it. I don’t know how Auntie got it, but I was glad I didn’t have to face men twice my size and with a greater propensity to punch first and think later.

Now, I don’t have anything about scams in this dying age of consumerism where bastards had the cash and those that didn’t had to be even more bastard-er than the rich folks.

However, I felt reasonably strong towards thefts. Like, people need food and water- but this was not the right place for that kind of ‘fine’ looting as some news media would call those.

In fact, when I was checking my phone to see anything new online, I happened to find out a trio of girls was trying to steal one of those fancy items. Music box- it looked quite old and interesting, but none of the clients had ever been able to open it.

Some even tried to say glue was involved, but Auntie actually sounded legit when she would confirm that the box was indeed stuck but not glued. Nonetheless, it was a long-standing piece of the shop and…

One of the girls entered the shop to steal it. I frowned as I turned to look at Auntie as she had been on the counter for just five minutes and… she was asleep. Quite deep into that.

Biting back a sigh, I knew I couldn’t exactly get the police involved. These three didn’t look like thugs or part of a gang, so I had ruled out having them arrested. But still, this robbery had to be stopped, and I took a video with my phone right as the girl stole the item and rushed out of the shop.

The trio then bolted away and I followed slowly after them. None looked back, perhaps thinking that the old lady hadn’t taken notice of what had just happened, and giving me a chance to keep up without getting suspected much.

Five minutes of power-walking led me to a small section of an alley with a bench there. The one that committed the theft looked ready to open up the box. I was already approaching them, with the blonde looking ready to turn around and notice me but-

But the girl actually got the box open. And something bright came out of it.

As a man of rational thoughts, I didn’t think it was the prelude of magical bullshit. I saw a bright light with some green in it, and my brain went straight to- ‘Oh shit, Auntie had some radioactive shit in that thing!’

I picked up speed to try and push the girls away from that thing. I just got from the Asian girl, grasping her arm by the elbow before being suddenly pulled away from the ground.

We all did. But instead of all of us ending up at the same place, only the girl I was holding and I ended up crashing into… well, a big area that gave us the view into what looked to be some sort of massive capital in the middle of mountains.

And it barely looked like anything I had studied in geography.

As I tried to make sense of where we were, Toto, we were no longer in Kansas, the girl just snatched herself out of my grasp and started running, eyes aimed around as she grasped every single detail around.

I chased quickly after her, but I almost made a huge mistake when I saw she was running towards a fairly big staircase. One that could have possibly killed her if she tripped and fell down.

I caught her just one step away and the girl gasped with mixed surprise and panic at seeing where she had been going. “P-Pu-Pull me in!”

I yanked her closer and we both paused before looking at the staircase.

“That’s a… very worrisome staircase.”

“Y-Yeah, why is there one that big?” The girl asked. “And… uh… why are you here?”

“Tried to stop you and your friends from stealing from my Auntie’s shop,” I flatly answered, the girl tensing up a bit. “Still, we are in a situation where that can be postponed. Where are we?”

The girl blinked, then got off my hold and hummed. “Well, it looks like some ancient civilization. Maybe there’s mages- and a school! Maybe there’s also handsome shonen characters and-”

The fangirling came to an abrupt end as something, or rather someone came rushing at us with incredibly noble but bold intentions.

“INTRUDERS!”

We were caught and push forward, but our brains failed to fully comprehend how fucked we were with that move due to a few good reasons.

Marcy Wu was given a newfound confirmation of her gay feelings when she was blessed with having her cheek pressing against womanly abs.

John Bukharin was given a newfound confirmation of his hetero feelings, when he was blessed with having his face squeezed against rough but nice-feeling tiddies.

Both had not considered that the push had them and their ‘interceptor’ sent down the staircase in quite the vicious fall out of all. Still, I come bearing some good news as none of us died.

First, the land we were at was ‘Newtopia’, a land where anthro newts existed.

Second, Public Healthcare is free and of quality as Marcy and I were nursed up with a case of broken leg and broken arm respectively. Meanwhile, our ‘interceptor’ only had a few scratches on her muscular body.

Newts are just built differently, and General Yunan was just built even more differently than them all, I suppose.

—-----d-d-d-d—-----

AN

Yes, proportions will not follow canon sizes. You’re welcome.