I ain't your Servant! 2 (Patreon)

I ain't your Servant! 2 - or ‘When the Master of Chaldea simps for Fanfiction a bit too much’ (FGO, AverageGuySI!Servant)

France, 1431.

We were 514 years off from D-Day, but being ray-shifted into the First legit Singularity felt like we were dropping in like the 101st Airborne units did in Normandy.

Due to my lack of personal flight ability, Melusine helped me float down to the ground without ending with me crushed by pressure and gravity combined. Still, this feeling of being yanked into a ‘wrong’ reality felt far more different than expected.

Even more when I realized that we weren’t getting dropped in the same area as Gudako and co. were.

At first, it was a matter of ‘silence’ which was uncharacteristic if Gudao was anywhere around me. And then because I looked around and I could tell the Orangette and her beloved Eggplant kohai was nowhere within our surroundings.

We had been split.

“Romani!” I growled, the ‘doctor’ picking up the line.

“Y-Yes, John?”

“The ray-shift fucked up! Where are we?” I asked with a hint of anger as we were told the process would have been clean enough to send us all without any of this having a chance of ever happening.

“From what we are able to see… Caen, Normandy.”

That’s not a very nice place to be despite the amusing irony of the development. Considering that Jalter had a hate-bone for the English, and that this was a stronghold of the men across the Channel, the intensity of confrontations had to be quite high.

In fact, right as we landed, we managed to get in town just in time to see the English Garrison struggling to keep up with the masses of civilians running northward to avoid the destructive army of Wyverns trying to rip into everything that was alive and very human

So, I gave Melusine a rather simple task.

“Kill those fake dragons.”

A nod, her mask glowing a bit together with some of her armor’s runes as the tiny Lancer bolted fast through the field and started to shred into the monstrous creatures.

In less than two minutes, the Wyverns had all been decimated. And the English troops, plus many civilians, paused and rallied to Melusine as she returned to my side.

An old soldier marched forward, shifting out of his horse’s saddle and then dropping to one knee before us.

“Strangers, we are- we are forever indebted for your grand rescue of our lives. Please, introduce yourselves.”

I glanced at Melusine, then nodded.

“Caster Class Servant, John Bukharin. I work as a strategist for a group of people that is sent through time to fix irregularities within the time flow. This is one of those.”

“Lancer Class Servant, Fairy Knight Lancelot. I work as a ‘heavy-hitter’ for this group of people. And I will do most of the physical work because the Master is weak.”

I gave her a flat look. I wouldn’t say she was wrong, but there were ways to say that without sounding insulting. So, I just relied on head patting her much to her surprise as she tensed up at the gesture.

“I suppose you all have questions, yeah?”

Some raised a hand, and the soldier that I chose gave a question that many had in mind at that moment.

“How does that work exactly?”

“Think of Time as a river. It is meant to have its own expected developments, but when the river starts to suddenly bubble up in some spots, it can create issues. In this case, this version of France is limited within a bubble. The moment this bubble bursts, the fires manifested by the Dragon Witch will scorch the entirety of humanity.”

A woman raised her hand. “Can we run away from this?”

“You can not. Look, if you had a chance, I would let those that don’t want to fight leave. But the option isn’t there. You cross that sea and you will die since that England you see over there is just a mirror. There is a wall that will crush any boats trying to make it across.”

“...What are we to do, Ser Bukharin?” The old soldier inquired. “Our king died childless, we are not strong enough to face the Wyverns and our hopes are dim.”

I slowly nodded at this, but I mustered my special skill ‘Fictional Charisma: A+’ which does truly exist, and that could be related to the oddity that is my current Saint Graph.

“Men and women of England. Men and women of Scotland. Men and women of Ireland. I am not here to have you join an army of invasion, or an army of offense. It is true, your king has perished, doubts besiege your duties, but I am afraid to tell you all that until a way to kill the Dragon Witch and her creator is not accomplished, any chance of leaving France will be curbed by the Fake Jeanne’s power.”

I turned to where the source of the hellish scenario was located.

“After all, the Jeanne you faced was not the original Jeanne D’Arc. She is a puppet built by a man of hell. A twisted version of Gilles de Rais that has sold his soul to Satan, accepting the dark gifts of foul magic as a way to pursue the ultimate pleasure of ‘claiming God’s painful mercy’. And he has a depraved thing for kids.”

Everyone recoiled at this last detail, but I had a bit more to say.

“Which is why I need you all to take the stand, not just as Englishmen and Englishwomen, but as fellow humans that have a common goal in mind: aid us in destroying these monsters and prevent for history, your future and those of your families waiting beyond the pond from being scorched by a fake witch. Who is with me?”

The loud cry of freedom struck through as I smiled at the overall positive reaction to this demand. Everything was shaping to be quite great and-

“Senseeeeeiiiii!!!! Where are you!?” The shrill voice of a certain deranged orangette came through the Comms, and I deflated as I thought the thing would have been quiet for a few more hours.

“Melusine, how about you have fun bossing around the new army for a bit?”

The Fairy Knight smiled earnestly, the same viciousness a loli can have when it comes to being a brat about this sort of thing. Luckily for me (and the English soldiers) I had things under control with Gudako (or at least enough for her to not nag at me for a while).

After all, much has to be done with this little army, and I planned to screw with Jalter’s plans in some amusing manners.

—-------d-d-d-d—------

AN

So, someone has asked me for a Servant Stats for John Bukharin (Caster):

True Name: <Unknown True Name> ‘John Bukharin’
Type: Reincarnated Human/Heroic Spirit
Source: Fictional Writing (Fanfics)
Region: Europe
Alignment: Chaotic Good/Evil
Hidden Attribute: Pseudo-Daddy AF
Armaments: None

Parameters
Strength: F
Endurance: F
Agility: F
Mana: D (Through Chaldea’s supplies)
Luck: B+
NP: D/C+

Class Skills
Item Construction: B
Item Creation: C

Personal Skills
Internet Wisdom: A+
Fanfic Writer: A++
Fictional Charisma: A+

Noble Phantasm(s):

Name: Unknown
Purpose: Unknown
Type: Unknown
Rank: D

Name: Unknown
Purpose: Unknown
Type: Unknown
Rank: C

Name: Unknown
Purpose: Unknown
Type: Unknown
Rank: ???