When Logic Sinks In 3 (Patreon)

When Logic Sinks In 3 - or ‘From Soulless Nerd, to Mighty Lich God’ (Pre-Kuroinu, Kin!SI)

The process of packing what was useful of the castle back in the chariot proved to be quite tedious considering the space-related limitations tied to our method of moving around the world.

We found two small-sized ‘Tardis-like’ chests which were used to bring treasures of all sorts and magic books which were going to be very helpful in expanding our knowledge. After all, I didn’t want to keep Chloe bound to the ‘meek-tier’ for long. I wanted my assistant to be reliable and I had planned to start her training in due time.

For now, I wanted her to be at ease. She was still distrustful of me to some extent, but that was slowly getting dealt with by the details now coloring her current life situation.

Gone were the shackles, the potato bag she had been forced to use as a dress and the collar limiting her magic. The outfit I chose to her was a far cry from the skimpy one that she would have adopted if Olga had gotten to her group- it was infuriating how exposed the Dark elves were when it came to their outfits- yet their virgin leader tried her hardest to ‘protect’ her tribe from sex by letting her orcs fuck other women.

Still! Chloe’s outfit was tailored from my own as I had to adapt one of the pants into a makeshift skirt, but allowed her to have one of the available shorts to me to be used as spats. Her shirt was rolled up on the sleeves up to the elbow and her shortened hair after a quick haircut was now hidden by a hat.

“Do you like it?”

She double-nodded at my question, smiling as she clearly liked the short hairdo and the overall style of her current outfit as it was a major step-up from her previous ‘slave in rags’ circumstance.

Once we had everything packed up, I proceeded to leave a large billboard by the castle’s entrance which was to act as a ‘signature’ for my little raid. Burning the place felt a bit excessive as that was a lot of resources for the village. The manor I razed could be rebuild in numerous smaller houses for the local farmers, but this castle was essential to keep monsters trying to rush out of the forest for raids.

Instead of fire, I decided to ‘roast’ people with the power of absolute memery.

If you are reading this, then you should know that the dumbass of Lord Mandeville is super-dead. How do I know? Well, he chose the hard way. I am a paladin of justice, as I seek to impose true vengeance against my opponents. I liked his booty, and I wanted him. So, I claimed it and his life. Don’t bother looking for me for I am too amazing of an old man to be stopped.

Signed, the Legendary Booty Warrior.

P.S. Celestine has a wonderfully fat butt.

Ah yes, there is nothing more amusing than creating a new nightmare for the local population through deflection. Instead of a Necromancer, they are going to be looking for an old man with mystical powers that goes by the name of ‘Booty Warrior’. And I started my long-planned campaign to hurl crap at that idiot of a ‘goddess’ in Geofu.

Speaking of which, we are going into that place to get supplies, a better map for my final destination, and perhaps some time to further drain magicians of their magic and lifeforce.

I didn’t want to go into that last effort too aggressively, so I decided to leave it open to the situation and any potential ramifications.

“Why did you call yourself the ‘Booty Warrior’. Do you fight with your… butt?”

I choked a chuckle at that.

“Oh no, Chloe. The point is more simple than that- You see, there is an old legend I heard about the foretold of a man that was known to hunt down fellow men and… do things with their butts. Nasty things. Well, I want them to think that what happened here was that man’s doing.”

“...Why?”

“Well, if they are looking for an old man that likes butts, why would they investigate two children like us?”

The girl opened her mouth to reply but went silent, her eyes widening in realization as she gave me a glance filled with clarity.

“Ooooh, so instead of boasting about it you are going to make it appear it was someone else’s deed.”

“Yup.”

“But… Why did you call Celestine’s butt ‘fat’?”

“That’s to make it seem like she is going to be next,” I answered readily. “That and… the fact that I don’t like how she is covering it. Like, can you imagine hiding away your naked bits down there with just a thin black belt?”

“...What?”

“Yep, she dresses so shamefully for being a goddess. So, I am using this chance to ‘call her out’ on that.”

Chloe merely nodded. “That sounds silly.”

“Well, you will get the chance to see it yourself as we are going to Geofu and there should be some portraits of her around.”

The Dark Elf was confused by this decision, but merely nodded. Soon I gave her something to eat and drink. It’s been a few hours since I gave her the first good meal she had in her whole life, so I knew she was about to get hungry again quite early on.

Plus, I wanted to headpat and hug her some more as she ate. She was just so submissive while busy munching on bread, so I gave her all the affection she needed to feel safe and happy. It made the power-studying through what books I had to ‘devour’ easier to endure with my mind.

My beloved assistant deserved that and much more~.

—-------d-d-d-d—-------

It was lunchtime, and many of the attendants to the High Queen of Eostia were concerned when their leader had refused to eat much for today.

Truth be told, Celestine’s stomach hardly craved food as her mind, after centuries of doing the same thing over and over again, had finally gotten a new topic to tackle- a murder mystery!

How rare and exciting- well, if one was to ignore the fact that Lord John Mandeville and his entire host had been decimated due to this mystery, that is. Still, the ‘High Queen’ was delighted by such an opportunity to study the matter.

Especially when the curious message left behind by the perpetrator, the enigmatic ‘Booty Warrior’, mentioned her in its Post Scriptum.

I have… a ‘wonderfully fat butt’?

Such a comment felt like an insult. ‘Fat’ was meant to mean too much after all, but the usage of ‘Wonderfully’ left her perplexed. So, out of curiosity if this was some sort of new slang within the youth, Celestine asked her attendants.

They looked adorably confused and embarrassed by the topic, but she managed to get a promising response by guaranteeing them a chance to be blunt without any repercussions. Much to her surprise, it was the words of the girls that stunned her the most.

“A-A fat butt is a compliment, actually. It means that it’s round enough to please a man’s eyes and make them smitten to that good trait.”

…Oh?

That… that actually explained so much!

After all, Celestine was not unfamiliar with debauchery. She was once a young girl with a lot of libido to take care of as a Divine Elf, but those days were long away from her mind. Still, She remembered being ‘insulted’ with that sort of comment. Could it be that the men meant it in a positive way rather than a derogatory one?

This intrigued the ‘Goddess’ to some extent. After all, this turned what had been perceived by some priests as a plot against her into something more… entertaining to her bored mind.

What if it wasn’t a plan to hurt her? What if it was something that still terrified the Church as it would… take her from them?

The idea of a romantic rescue was one that had been buried deep within the ruins of her former hopes and dreams. The gilded cage of hers had made sure to kill off any chance of her ‘divine shackles’ to be ever broken. Celestine knew she could do something about it, but the delicate balance dictates her submission- the normal people didn’t deserve war.

But… What happens if she was kidnapped?

The notion was surreal for sure- she was meant to be the kind of entity no one could truly beat on a fair confrontation… but what would happen if that was the case? The idea had never played much in her mind. It was ludicrous to imagine her disappearance, but she had to admit that such a notion was equally good and bad.

Good because it would deprive the Church of their main tool, bad because it could trigger revolts against the Church itself and that would kill people. It was an odd circumstance, really.

Celestine had never really thought of just ‘running away’ out of fear that her disappearance would have led to numerous innocents getting slaughtered in uprisings against the current government

Because, despite being the High Queen, the ‘Goddess’ bore no real political power within her kingdom. The system of corruption that had been born by the bureaucracy for many centuries now was firmly imposed to have her serve as a figurehead.

By law, she was nothing but a religious tool. By magic… She was far more than just this.

Which is why this ‘Murder Mystery’ became something of a fickle hope to try and do something with this opportunity. If the church was scrambling, then she could try to do something. If not, then maybe she could do a proper shake up by ‘disappearing’ for a while.

Despite having been centuries, Celestine remembered when she was first taken in to serve as the reincarnation of the Holy Goddess. Due to her seemingly-eternal lifespan, she was seen as the ideal puppet. But in truth, there was a similar situation where one of her predecessors successfully tricked the Church into leaving by faking her own death.

Such an option felt extreme but… maybe something could be done in that regard. It was still too risky- leaving just didn’t feel right. But she wasn’t bound to remain within the castle, and she could effortlessly relocate if needed.

…

So many naughty options! And all because an unknown man that killed a bad lord had called her rear plump!

It was amusing really, it made her giggle in a way she forgot about after so long.

…

Maybe I should really tantalize that cheeky Booty Warrior~. It’s been so long since I satisfied my own sexual desire after all.

With the seed of self-rebellion implanted in her mind, Celestine’s days were soon going to become quite interesting in a rather ‘childish’ way.

—------d-d-d-d—------

AN

She is going to be a sexual threat alright…