Chaos for Idiots! 1 (Patreon)

Chaos for Idiots! - or ‘My lovely ass if force-isekai’d in a world of Order and Chaos… and I am not stuck with a Chaotic Moron!’ (Knighthood Chaotic!SI)

I would normally take a calm moment to lay out my bad situation if I am entertaining a mental monologue but-

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! You shall all be consumed by chaos- GAH! Stop spanking me!”

We were in a bit of a rough spot and we couldn’t afford any chit-chatting with either our thoughts of current chasers!

“Stop talking shit! Keep on shooting them with your bullshit magic!” I screeched back to the owner of the furred butt I was carrying around over my left shoulder.

My name is John Bukharin, and I was framed by the rules of nature of a world that relies on Order and Chaos. The issue being that something happened centuries ago and the Order side of things is victorious in a good way… yet very murderous towards the Chaos remnants.

I would say that is a bad thing if not for the fact that… I was summoned by a Chaos-loving and -worshiping sorceress. Her name is Ayah, Coyote Anthro with big boobs, large ass, and a lack of mental sanity due to her affection towards Chaos- she is the owner of said furred butt I was running with, and the ones we were running away from were people that had been hunting her up to this point.

How did they know where she was? Let’s just say she kind of attacked  the ‘big boss’ of this Japanese forest, tried to kill her kid and then got her butt kicked by said kid. Sounds so cheesy it almost feels fake- but Ayah has a flaw that makes this so feasible: she is a classic villain.

Evil to the core, but not insane because of it, quite driven to her chaotic cause and yet not utterly obsessed by it and… childishly sticking to some tropes of evilness that are known to have led many villains to stupid defeats.

She summoned me to act as her ‘Familiar’, but the spell backfired because, from what she was willing to tell me, I was ‘chaotically powerful’. Which made no sense to me since… I am not chaotic. I am someone that works within a timely schedule, I hardly break from my usual routine and I never stick out to get attention on my ass.

I was average- at first glance. The truth is that… I can use Chaos as a power. Which was something that annoyed and amazed Ayah as she tried to ‘remove’ me when she thought she had lucked out with the summoning circle.

When I projected a shield to deflect the attack, that was where her irritation turned into… my own irritation as she gushed over me. I think she was starving for affection too as she lost her ‘brother but not’ partner as he ‘defected to the pesky Light’.

Still, here we were, running away from trouble with me doing the leg work while Ayah blasting and creating distractions for those giving us chase. It was rough on my legs as I never had a reason to run that fast for so long, but I saw an opportunity to get us both out of trouble: a cliff which we were reaching the edge of which seemed to lead to a river several feet below us..

I had the chance to test my chaotic power beforehand, but what I was trying to do was risky. Ayah was running out of energy as she had to recover from a near-death experience, so I had to do all of this on my own. Two spells were needed, one that I casted right as we jumped off the cliff much to the sorceress’ screech at this suicidal move which was a ‘foam-changer’ aimed at the water below.

It rushed faster than we were falling, creating a nice and smooth but also soft surface that solidly manifested just for us. Then I casted a quick shield that appeared as an egg-like sphere that coated us both and was meant to be… bouncy.

BOING!

Ayah’s screaming doubled as fear was mixed with renewed one as we were now propelled through the water at a high speed, parting waves while we were propelling ourselves the furthest away from our troublesome issues as possible.

Eventually, however, the momentum dropped and I felt my blood trickling out of my nose as the barrier took a toll on my body and… we both were greeted by cold unforgiving water as we reached the closest shore.

It was chilling, our clothes were drenched and a growling Ayah had to pull me out of the water as I was too tired for the time being to do so. She said something along the lines of ‘I could have taken them if you had not started running’ and other prideful shit that really stuck out as sore shit to my adrenaline-deprived brain.

She lied down beside me as we both stared at the sunny day while recovering a bit and… I frowned.

What the hell am I doing? We are still in a dangerous situation and I am being lazy about it?

I pushed myself up, Ayah glancing at me as she asked what I was trying to do and… she tensed up when I got close to her. Then she relaxed as she thought I was going to ‘bless’ her with a mere lap pillow but-

“W-Wait, the ears- not the- ah~ ears~.”

I needed to clear my mind for a moment, and I usually had an animal to pet to do so. Right now, Ayah was the closest thing to that and, despite her ‘protests’, she was leaning for those ear-scratching and rubbing. She almost got to purr, but stopped short out of sheer will.

Adorable and sexy, a dangerous combination to have if you are also dumb and predictable.

“Ayah, we are not going to fuck this one up and we are going to lay low for a while.”

“B-but the infidels-”

“That’s not a good way to address them. That’s some Crusading speech that gets people to think you are cringe and a threat that needs to be exterminated fast,” I interrupted flatly, the girl pouting a bit. “Work smart first, then work hard. What’s the point of putting an effort and investing time and energy on something if it is that predictable and hateable?”

“...So?”

“First, we recover, then we leave the area, then we see what to do next-”

“Kill the traitor.”

“Why though? He is currently being sheltered, so if we were to… you know, attack him too soon, he may get extra protection for any ensuing traps.”

“You are… right,” Ayah admitted, but I was slowly trying to get her to drop it when- “But he stole my panties, so I am going to kill him.”

I hard-frowned at this. “He what?”

“He betrayed the cause AND stole my panties as a ‘trophy’.”

…

“That’s nasty.”

“Which is why he needs to DIE and… oh~ li-like that~.”

I shook my head at her cute voice coming out whenever her twitchy long ears were getting teased like that and…

What the hell is my goal in this role I was assigned through magic and misunderstanding?

—----d-d-d-d—--------

AN

Expect action, chaos, confusion, lots of boobs n’ bitches, a romantic rivalry, a bit of alignment-confusing circumstances and Ayah being Ayah!