Weekly update - 8-1-2021 (Late update, whoops - also updated explosion) (Patreon)

Hey everyone, sorry I missed the update yesterday. To be honest, I didn't even realize it was Saturday, my mental clock is super off right now. Gonna be more or less another personal update this week, though I do have an update to that explosion animation from last week! We got some feedback and Orexius decided to tweak it some more, and now it looks even cooler than before. I'll have that later in the post, so feel free to skip there if you don't want to read personal stuff.

I've been doing a little work on personal projects like I mentioned last update, and the good news is I haven't forgotten how to program lmao, so that's reassuring. Right now my biggest struggle is just, getting myself to start working in the first place. There are so many days where I'll wake up feeling ready to work, get ready for the day and head down to my computer, sit at my desk, and then just kinda.. freeze up. My motivation slips away completely as soon as I can actually put thoughts into action, and it's immeasurably frustrating.

I have an appointment with my medicine doctor this week, so I'll be discussing my thoughts on the medicine I'm on now with her; I think I've talked about it before, but basically it feels like it's definitely helping with my depression, but it hasn't done anything for the anxiety/ADD - which isn't surprising, since depression is the only one of my symptoms it's clinically approved to treat. It often helps patients with the other two things, but not always. It certainly hasn't been a magical "happy pill" or anything like that, but it's kind of amazing how much of a difference it makes day-to-day. Before, when something bad happened on any given day, it would typically ruin my entire day. I couldn't pick myself out of that emotional slump until I slept and basically had a hard reset. Now that I'm taking medication though, of course I still have bad days sometimes, and I still get sad sometimes, but it doesn't seem to consume me in the way that it used to. I'll take an hour to myself, sometimes more sometimes less, and then I'll be okay again. Basically, I feel like this medication has just allowed my brain to remain at a "neutral" state in a way that I just plain wasn't able to do before.

So, once my appointment comes, my core goal is to talk to her about ADD medication options. I know that the "getting started" problem is a common one with ADD, and it's been one of my main struggling points with developing CPE as a whole, not just in these last few months. It's kinda weird, as an adult I basically "forgot" I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, because I haven't been treated for it in any way for the past ~15 years. I didn't literally forget, but I never considered it at all when thinking about all of the things I've struggled with over the years. Instead, I just convinced myself that I wasn't trying hard enough, which is.. just about the most unhealthy mindset possible, especially for neurodivergent minds. This appointment is very early in the week, so I might have something to report by the next update, with any luck - some ADD medications start working immediately, so it will depend on what she puts me on.

Anyway, that's enough personal stuff for this week. Orexius has been working on more xray animations, as well as updating all of the Underwater Mine animations (not just the explosion). He's also working on an alternate Ledge Grab animation, for ledges where Alicia doesn't have a foothold, since the current animation looks a little silly in those cases. The only animation I'm showing off this week is the updated explosion, though:

The effect from last week is still there, with a few minor tweaks, but there's another layer on top that should make the effect read much more as an "underwater" explosion specifically.

Alright, that's all I have for this week. Hopefully you're not tired of hearing me say thank you yet, because - seriously - thank you all so much for sticking with us. I know CPE development is in a bad place right now, but it means the world to me that you guys are giving me the time I need to deal with all this. I feel like I'm finally on track to get back into development soon, especially if ADD medication works out. There's a LOT to do once I get back to it, so don't expect another playable update to come out very soon even if I do get going right away, but if all goes well then CPE development should be a lot more consistent once I finally am back behind the wheel. Here's hoping we have something good to share next week!