How I'm Doing. (Patreon)

Hey folks,

I'm fairly open about my mental health on a normal day, but times have been a little harder than usual around these parts recently. I have an update on what's coming from Noclip but I find it impossible to detangle our schedule from the reality of my personal day-to-day so I'm just gonna use this post to explain it all. 

First up, here are the Noclip projects that are currently in production and will round out a rather busy and eclectic year for us;

• Alien Isolation - this edit is finished but we're kinda waiting to hear back about some more materials that we might be able to use. It's a legal thing. We may just post it early without the extra materials. Watch this space. No pun intended. It's about 22mins.
• Dishonored - this one is big and multi-lingual. Aiming for November but may slip a month. When it's ready.
• Tim Schafer on 20 Years of Double Fine - Jeremy currently editing. I recon November. Though I did a bad job recording the audio so maybe it'll take him 2 years to clean it up.
• Microsoft Flight Simulator - This is a neat little remote mini-doc like the Command & Conquer project. All about the tech & design of the new Flight Sim game. Expect it in December.
• Hades: Developing Hell #06 - By the end of the year. Perhaps December 19th so the series was exactly 2 years running. Seems nice.
• More Podcasts - We're in a little break this week as I was off for the week but the show will be back next week. We've got more fun guests lined up.
• Black Mesa (Focusing on Xen) - We'll share more on this project soon. It's a fun one.

So, onto the other stuff.

Last week I took my first week off in I can't tell how long. I practiced BMX, played some games and drove to the mountains to go camping in my car in bear country. It made me a feel a bit better but generally the balancing act of running a company, editing these long-ass videos, working through my immigration stuff, DMV hell, pandemic, stolen meth cars, missing Ireland and being a dad / husband - have all been taking its toll. 

I've been working through a lot of this in therapy and reconfiguring various aspects of my work/life balance but there have been easy weeks and hard weeks. Of course as somebody whose lived with depression for most of my life none of this is particularly new. This isn't a cry for help or a plea for solace - I live with these issues on a daily basis and have done for years. I mention it only to give context to the way in which Noclip has been working and perhaps how I'd like to change it back to the ways things were in the early years. 

The funny thing about Noclip turning four years old is that we're almost in the exact same position we were in when this whole thing started. After two years on the East Coast I am once again editing from a room in Oakland. Granted these days it's a spare room in a house and not the corner of my apartment so I can't complain. But we get the same level of funding we got back in 2016 while producing far more work. I employ a handful of contractors who help with various aspects of the business. In the past we made a big doc project every 2-3 months. These days we produce a handful of videos every month alongside a weekly podcast. We've produced more work this year than ever before.

Working my ass off for 4 years has meant we've created a bunch of amazing projects and built a pretty big audience. But I've learned in recent months that I can't keep this pace up. My creative energy is being sapped in a way that actually makes for worse content in the long run. 

So what's the strategy?  I don't know yet exactly. I think it's probably slowing down on producing so many videos, and focusing on the big docs again. The feedback from the community seems to suggest that's what people want - and creatively that's where I am too. I'm also reaaaaaaly wanting to work on non-doc stuff again. With the new consoles coming I'm more interested than ever in producing some stuff on my own channel. With the lack of in-person filming for Noclip I'm probably going to use Jeremy a bunch in recording these. If I could take a month off docs to do this I would. Honestly I'm always just scared everyone will leave the Patreon hah.

I've also been working on a for-hire gig in my spare time over the past few months which has been keeping me sane. I mostly took it on because I was dying of creative loneliness and needed to collaborate with somebody. After four years of being independent I just wanted somebody to ask me to make something and say "good job".

I've really enjoyed it. It's weird how your brain works.

Recently I've been working 4 hour days to keep my work efficient and trying to do home & hobby stuff in the remaining hours. Being around to help with our kid has been lovely in helping me step away from work too. My work output hasn't suffered.

But every day is tough in it's own unique way.

Noclip isn't going anywhere. We literally have more projects to work on than ever, but if there's one change you're likely to see in 2021 it's going back to "quality over quantity". Covid-19 has myself and Jeremy stuck in Oakland for the foreseeable, so a mixture of remote interviews with higher-than-ever production values on those docs seems like where we should be. I'm hopeful to use our resources to FINALLY do some of my own reporting on the new consoles, or issues within the games industry. 

For now I just wanted to reach out and let you know how I'm doing. We're all going through some shit these days so I really appreciate the support you give myself and the team. I check in on Jeremy and Frank often - and though I won't speak on their behalf - they seem to be doing alright too. 

Thanks for reading. Thanks for your messages of support. Thanks for funding us.

More videos coming. 

Stay Safe. Wear a mask. It makes you look like Sub-Zero.

Danny