Teeth Don't Talk Back (Patreon)

Requested by our June Winner CallieQ: 'something about Kourubi's pregnancy cravings'

Kakashi closed the front door with his foot, arms too full with groceries to close it the proper way. He’d been making more trips to the store lately, now that Kourubi’s pregnancy had her cravings in full swing. Iruka helped where he could of course, but Kakashi just had the most spare time between the two of them. Kourubi insisted on going sometimes, but Kakashi would rather she just spend her time relaxing. This was her first pregnancy, after all, and considering how hard pregnancy had been on her mother, they couldn’t be too careful. They didn’t know how much Kourubi took after her, after all.

Kakashi found both his partners in the living room. Iruka sat at the coffee table, grading papers as usual. Kourubi had the tv on, some unfamiliar magical girl show lighting up the screen. She perked up at the sound of him setting the groceries on the counter, turning to look at him over the back of the couch.

“You got the goods?”

Kakashi nodded. “Of course.”

“Bitchin’!” Kourubi bounced off the couch -- or at least tried to. She was five months along, after all. There wasn’t much bouncing to be had past this point. 

She came into the kitchen, practically snatching the vanilla ice cream out of Kakashi’s hand as she went. She pulled a large bowl from the cabinet and began scooping the ice cream as Kakashi went about putting the rest of the groceries away. Then, he pulled the Ritz crackers out of the bag.

Before he could even blink, Kourubi had snatched the red box out of his hands and had ripped it open. He watched with mild horror as she dumped an entire sleeve of crackers into the bowl with her vanilla ice cream. She made a pleased sound, digging into the ice cream with a cracker so that it was piled high with the cold confection. She popped the cracker into her mouth, the cracker crunching loudly as she chewed. Iruka made a noise of disbelief from the living room, having looked up to see the monstrosity Kourubi was making.

“How could you chew ice cream like that?” Iruka questioned, exaggerating his disgust to a comedic manner. “Absolute heathen!” 

“Says the man who swallows ramen noodles whole,” Kourubi shot back, returning to the couch with spoon and salty-sweet abomination in hand. “What sort of example are you setting for Naruto, really?”

“At least I know my teeth won’t rebel against me,” Iruka scoffed. 

“Nice thing about teeth: they don’t talk back.” Kourubi shoveled another ice cream covered cracker into her mouth and turned the volume of her show up. 

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but decided maybe it was best to tuck the crackers into the highest cabinet. Just in case.