World's Funnest: Earth X Sequence Script w/Art by Frank Cho (Pg 23-24) (Patreon)

In this installment of the ongoing WORLD'S FUNNEST retrospective, we'll take a look at the two-page "Earth X" sequence, which was illustrated by Frank Cho.

In 1956 DC/National Comics bought up a number of the titles and characters previously published by Everett M. "Busy" Arnold's Quality Comics, including Plastic Man, Kid Eternity, Blackhawk and a group of superheroes that would be brought together as The Freedom Fighters, who lived on an alternated Earth dubbed "Earth X". In Earth X's timeline, the axis powers won World War 2, and the Freedom Fighters continued to, uh, fight them. 

The Freedom Fighters team was made up of the Golden Age characters Uncle Sam, Phantom Lady, Doll Man, The Human Bomb, The Ray and The Black Condor. I'm sure there have been different iterations of the team since the Bronze Age, and I'm sure they've killed, dismembered and twisted them since World's Funnest, but I have no real idea of their history outside of the Quality era. 

Most of these characters had the pedigree of being created by Will Eisner (Uncle Sam, Doll Man) and Lou Fine (The Ray) or both men together (The Black Condor), as part of the Eisner/Iger Studio's agreement with Busy Arnold. The general style of the Eisner/Iger studio -- and in particular the lush work of Lou Fine -- was what i had in mind when looking for an artist to handle the Earth X sequence. 

We decided to roll the dice and shoot for the tars and ask Will Eisner is he'd be willing to work on the comic. Editor Joey Cavalieri told me he turned us down, but told me he liked the script. years later someone -- I don't remember who -- told me that Eisner never read the script, and may not have even been asked to work on the book, and Joey just told me that to make me feel better. Which wasn't necessary, if that was the case. If Joey didn't want to ask Eisner, and that was the case, he should have just told me he didn't feel it was worth trying. It  have been a big feather in our cap to have the creator of some of the characters -- who also just happened to be the celebrated Will Eisner -- on the roster, but it was also a tall wish to ask for.

With Eisner not interested, available or possibly even asked, my second choice was Mark Schultz, the creator of Xenozoic tales (better known as Cadillacs and Dinosaurs). Schultz' work had (and has) a classic comics/illustrative style, influenced by such artists as Frank Frazetta, Roy Krenkel, Al Williamson, Wally Wood and other members of the E.C. Comics roster. I thought his style would have been perfect for these characters, and would have effectively evoked the kind of work Lou Fine did. Unfortunately, Schultz wasn't interested.

The third pick was Frank Cho, who has a range of cartooning styles, from caricature work along the lines of Mort Drucker, to fantasy and superhero work with a classic base much like Schultz. I don't want to spend a lot of time on it, at least not right now, but I had high hopes for Frank Cho once, as obnoxious and condescending as that may sound. he's done a lot for himself, career-wise, but, well..the joke I like to use about Frank is that I knew him back when he was a human being. 

Sarah and I first met Frank at the second-ever SPX in Bethesda, MD. We met him with David Mazzucchelli, Frank was an aspiring cartoonist/artist who was in nursing school at the time. We thought his work was terrific. We found him to be extremely nice, humble and talented. He's since remained talented. Frank and I kept up a correspondence for years, and we almost worked together twice back in the 90's. he did design sketches for a series I was trying to put together (since the late 80s, it never happened, but there's some DNA from it in the bones of Beasts of Burden and Blackwood). I also tried to get him on the Mask series I was writing for Dark Horse (The Hunt For Green October), but he admitted he knocked out the samples because he had studying to do for school, and Dark Horse passed. 

We finally worked together on World's Funnest. At the time we were still on friendly terms, but, again, without getting into it, Frank was becoming, well...if you know comics you might know how Frank Cho turned out. It's weird to see people change because of success, especially in comics, a small world where everyone tends to know one another. If success is was it was that made him such a jerk. After having enough of Frank's hubris, obnoxious jokes and lousy social skills, I went from avoiding him at conventions to just ignoring him if we happened to be on the Humor Panel at Heroes Con.

I thought his work on the Earth X sequence looked great and definitely fit the bill, but I have to say I wasn't happy with his panel layouts on the second page, which were all over the place and didn't lead the eye well. It was somewhat early comics work for him, and he was trying stuff out, I guess. If we had more time and I had more influence, I would have asked for that page to be revised in the layout stage. But sometimes you gotta chug along and get it done, especially if you're dealing with lots of artists and deadlines. Speaking of chugging along, if you look at the script for the final panel on page 24 -- and then look at the printed comic -- you'll see that we had letterer Tom Orzechowski do a sound effect patch panel to cover the fact that Frank only blew up Earth X and not the universe, as written in the script. 

I still have the art that Frank did for the pitch I was putting together, and a very nice color caricature he did of Sarah and I back in the day. He's a cautionary tale, in my mind if not in the industry's, and I still shake my head thinking about him back at those early SPX shows. For all his success, I always felt that he was capable of really accomplished something much more substantial than the work he's put out since blowing up. Perhaps he's still capable of something other than weak frat gags and lowest common denominator girlie pictures (there's nothing inherently wrong with the latter, but taken as a whole I thought he'd grow out of that relentlessly sophomoric stage he got moored in). Maybe it isn't for me to say what anyone should and shouldn't do. But I can say he's got some of the worst social skills in all of comics, and that's saying something. And coming from me, to boot. 

Someday I'll post that old art here. It's worth showing off.

For now, here's the script for Earth X.

WORLD'S FUNNEST

SCRIPT FOR EARTH X "QUALITY" 2-PAGE SEQUENCE

WHAT HAS GONE ON BEFORE:

Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxyztplk, the inter-dimensional imps with the magical powers of gods and the minds of five year-olds, had appeared on Earth 1 (during the 60's Silver-Age era) to pester their favorite superheroes, the World's Finest team of Superman, Batman and Robin. Unfortunately, the two imps don't like each other much and they start to argue, which turns tragic when Batman intervenes and is accidentally fried by Mxy's lightning bolts. Things really get out of hand and ultimately the Earth 1 universe is obliterated. The two imps then chase one another to Earth 2 (where the Golden Age DC characters are) where again, their fantastic powers and immature behavior destroy that "alternate universe". The chase leads them to the so-called Earth-3, which they also wreck -- and they then appear on "Earth-X", the alternate world where DC placed the Quality heroes.  

NOTES ABOUT THE ART 

As far as the art goes, the point isn't to clinically reproduce an old comic dead-on, (there are no narrative captions in the script, for instance) but to authentically capture the era being portrayed in order to help sell the joke. The older comics sequences like "Earth X" contain more panels than a "modern" comic and will be colored and lettered to reflect the 40's look, but the art needn't be done in a manner to ape any Golden Age or Quality artist, we want the artists to have fun and inject their own personality into the pages.

PAGE 23

PANEL ONE

Open on a 1940's-era north-east military base. BAT-MITE is in the foreground, he's in a panicked "running away" pose even though he's floating several feet above the ground. In the background, MR. MXYZTPLK "pops" into the air above a low office building. An American flag waves proudly from a pole standing before the building. We can see barracks and the like in the deep background, perhaps a plane on a landing strip.

NOTE: In this sequence Mr. Mxyztplk ("Mxy" for short in the script) appears as he did in the 1940's Golden Age DC Superman comics -- balding, eggheaded, with suit and derby.

1) MXY: OOOH! YOU COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE WIMP OF AN IMP!

SFX (near Mxy): POP

PANEL TWO

Mxy gestures and the American flag magically stretches out to throttle a terrified Bat-Mite.  

2) MXY: HAHA -- LOOKS LIKE I “FLAGGED“ YOU DOWN!

3) BAT-MITE: ACK! I'M SEEING STARS!!

4) OFF PANEL: A-HEM! 

PANEL THREE

A nice-sized heroic-looking group shot of the FREEDOM FIGHTERS. UNCLE SAM stands before his team, rolling up his shirt sleeves, ready to do business. With him stand THE HUMAN BOMB, THE RAY, and PHANTOM LADY. DOLL MAN stands on the Human Bomb's right shoulder and the BLACK CONDOR hovers in the air slightly above his comrades. In the foreground a surprised and scared Bat-Mite hovers near Mxy, who stands, bored and sour-faced, unmoved by the appearance of the Earth X heroes.  

5) UNCLE SAM: NOW, YOU TWO PIXIES CAN JUST QUIT DESECRATIN’ THE OL’ RED WHITE AN’ BLUE -- ‘LESSEN YOU WANT TO FACE THE DEMOCRATIC MIGHT OF THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS!

6) HUMAN BOMB: YOU TELL 'EM, UNCLE SAM!

PANEL FOUR

A bored, yawning Mxy ignores the stoic Freedom Fighters as he balances his derby on one upraised finger. A nervous Bat-Mite appeals to Mxy, "shushing" him with a finger to his lips. 

7) MXY: HO-HUM, HERO TALK. NO MATTER WHAT UNIVERSE YOU'RE IN, IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME.

8) BAT-MITE (small): SHHH! YOU'LL GET US IN TROUBLE!

9) UNCLE SAM: DARN TOOTIN' YER IN TROUBLE! AMERICA DON'T COTTON NONE TO NAZI SPIES, EVEN LITTLE MIDGETY ONES!

PANEL FIVE

Close on an adamant Bat-Mite, hovering up to face Uncle Sam and the others.  

10) BAT-MITE: WE ARE NOT NO NUTSY SPIES!

11) UNCLE SAM: BOOSHWA! LOOKIT THE PUDGY ONE BOYS -- TELL ME THEM SINISTER DUDS DON’T REPRESENT A THREAT TO BASEBALL, APPLE PIE AN’ THE GOOD OL’ U. S. OF A.!

12) BAT-MITE: I AM NOT SINISTER! OR PUDGY! I'M BAT-MITE, AND I WEAR THE COSTUME OF MY CRIME-FIGHTING IDEAL, BATMAN!

PANEL SIX

On the Freedom Fighters, grinning and chuckling.

13) UNCLE SAM:  BATMAN? ANY OF YOU BOYS EVER HEAR TELL OF A CRIMEBUSTER NAMED BATMAN?

14) THE RAY: NOT ME, SAM. 

15) BLACK CONDOR:  NOPE. HOW ABOUT YOU, PHANTOM LADY?

PANEL SEVEN

On Phantom Lady, deep in thought, oblivious to the fact that beside her the Human Bomb is surreptitiously peering down at her cleavage, while the diminutive Doll Man precariously leans over from the Bomb's shoulder to peek down at her from his unique vantage point. (NOTE: I promise the world that this is the only so-called "headlights shot" I will ever purposely write.)

16) PHANTOM LADY: IT'S NEWS TO ME, BLACK CONDOR. WHAT ABOUT YOU, HUMAN BOMB?  

17) MXY (big, excited -- off-panel): HUMAN BOMB?!? 

PAGE 24

PANEL ONE

Mxy is ecstatic, he rubs his hands together in giddy anticipation as he addresses the confused Freedom Fighters. Bat-Mite, hovering before the recoiling superheroes, bounces in the air like a little kid, excitedly waving his hand.

1) MXY: DID YOU SAY "HUMAN BOMB"? THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED! HEY -- WHO WANTS TO SEE A MAGIC TRICK?

2) HUMAN BOMB: UM...

3) BAT-MITE: OOH, ME! I DO! I -- UH...

4) BAT-MITE (small): OOPS. 

PANEL TWO

Mxy makes a grand gesture in the manner of a stage magician and magical energy emanates from his hands towards the Human Bomb -- who to a great deal of surprise and discomfort grows to gigantic proportions. The other Freedom Fighters react in surprise and shock to Mxy's "trick", backing away from their enlarged comrade. A sheepish Bat-Mite is fading out.

5) MXY: ALAKAZAM!!

6) HUMAN BOMB: HEY -- !

7) UNCLE SAM: WHOA NELLIE!

8) BAT-MITE (small): UM...I THINK I SHOULD GO NOW.

SFX  (from the magic bolts): ZWWAMM

PANEL THREE

A smiling Mxy calmly whistles as he hovers above the plunger of a cartoon detonator wired to the hapless Human Bomb -- who grows even larger, towering over the military base as an apoplectic Uncle Sam shouts up to him, his arms spread out to indicate the area around them. The Bomb has the phrase "NOWHERE OR BUST" on the chest of his uniform, he holds his fingers to his ears in anticipation of a huge explosion.  

9) UNCLE SAM: NOW LISTEN HERE, HUMAN BOMB! YOUR UNCLE SAM WANTS YOU TO STOP THIS CONSARNED FOOLISHNESS RIGHT NOW!

10) HUMAN BOMB: I, UH, THINK YOU'D BEST TAKE COVER, EVERYONE...

11) UNCLE SAM: TAKE COVER?! WHERE ARE WE GONNA TAKE COVER, YOU BIG DUMB GALOOT?!  

PANEL FOUR

Close on a saddened Phantom Lady as she tenderly holds Doll Man in the palm of her hand. The little superhero is on one knee, his hand on his heart, the other in the air, he looks up at her lovingly, his eyes pleading. In the background the Ray is looking up at the off-panel Human Bomb, shielding his eyes to indicate the Bomb's huge height.

12) THE RAY (small, defeated): OH, WELL, AT LEAST THIS MEAN'S THE WAR'S FINALLY OVER...

13) DOLL MAN: PHANTOM LADY...THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. I -- I LOVE YOU!

14) PHANTOM LADY: OH, DOLL MAN, I LOVE YOU TOO! BUT WHAT CAN WE DO -- 

PANEL FIVE

The massive, towering Human Bomb looms over Phantom Lady, Doll Man, and the military base. High-flying airplanes are dwarfed as they pass by the titanic Bomb. Black Condor and the Ray are flying away in a complete panic as Uncle Sam stands below the Bomb, his hat in one hand as he angrily shakes his fist at his gargantuan comrade. Below, in the immediate foreground, Mxy pushes down the plunger on the big cartoon detonator , which has the phrase: "R.I.P WITH TNT" scrawled on it.

15) PHANTOM LADY: -- THIS THING IS BIGGER THAN THE BOTH OF US...

16) MXY: HAHAHA! Y'GOT THAT RIGHT, SISTER!  

SFX (from plunger): SHUNK

PANEL SIX

The entire universe explodes. 

SFX (big, open): KA-BOOOM!!

Here ends our Earth X sequence. We next follow the imps to the so-called "Earth S" where the esteemed and talented Mr. Jaime Hernandez will delineate the comical obliteration of the Fawcett/Captain Marvel family of characters.

Previous WORLD'S FUNNEST retrospective posts can be found here. Hopefully the links work. Search "WF retrospective" if I goofed.

- The original pitch for World's Funnest (aka, Last Imp Standing) is here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-64684036

- Brian Bolland's cover with original, alternate colors can be found here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-65353388

- The Silver Age era script (pgs 1-18), w/Dave Gibbon's inks:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-1-65064249

- The Phantom Zone sequence (pg 19) w/Mike Allred's inks: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-66166610

- The Golden Age Introduction part 1:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-66906681

- The Golden Age Introduction part 2:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-2-67170515

- The Golden Age era (pgs 20-21), w/Sheldon Moldoff's inks: https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-67320529

- Earth 3 (pg 22) w/pencils by Stuart Immonen and inks by Joe Giella:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/worlds-funnest-3-67916213

The next WF Retrospective post will cover Earth S, the world where DC Comics put the Captain Marvel Family characters originally published by their rival, Fawcett Comics. With art by the great Jaime Hernandez.