Here's Your Proof That Darwyn Cooke Hated The Devil Puppet (Patreon)

This was Darwyn's copy of Dork #5, also now known forever as the "Suck Book".. Yes, he defaced the comic with a short review, and used it to write a phone number on (don't call that number, I'm trusting you kids). A mutual cartooning friend, Steve Manale, told me Darwyn hated the comic because he hated the Devil Puppet. Steve Manale sent me this jpeg and then eventually gave me the actual Suck Book. Darwyn had given it to Manale, who asked for it rather than have it thrown out in the garbage. Because Darwyn hated Dork #5.

And how. 

Darwyn confirmed this when I first met him. He told me in no uncertain terms that he hated the character, and especially hated the story in #5 (aka, Suck Book) because he was pissed off that it "took up space that could've been good comics instead". He thought I was being pretentious and unfunny and that the story was pretentious and unfunny. And too long, I guess by however many pages it was. Five, if I remember correctly, was five pages too many. He also told me some very complimentary things about my work, so complimentary that I thought he was bullshitting me. I'll leave it at that, but I did some big stupid-grinning when I found out he was being serious. Darwyn could be a difficult person, and he had a temper, and I didn't agree with or like some of the things he would say, but I had some great conversations with Darwyn, a bunch of laughs, and enjoyed his company. Mostly. People can say the same things about me, especially back in the day. I think we had some similar issues in the behavioral mix, if that makes any sense.  The first time we met, we were at a post-TCAF party, sitting with Steve Manale. He ripped on a friend of mine in no uncertain terms (among other things), and I threw an obnoxious fan's credit card off the balcony (remind me to tell the story some time, it's not a big deal, but it requires backstory). We both ripped on Joe Matt, who was annoying all the cartoonists present to pitch in on a jam comic (Joe Matt also checked all the tables downstairs on the ground floor for --what??? -- after he left the party. We thought he was looking for tips that the waitstaff hadn't picked up. Or food. Swear to Zod). Anyway, that was a great night and a fond memory. 

Darwyn stopped talking to me for reasons I still don't fully understand. I was hanging out with a (beloved, world-class, I'm not worthy) cartoonist, sitting at the bar one night during Heroes Con, when Darwyn came up and asked me to get him a Coke. I started joking with him and didn't immediately order the Coke and he blew up and started yelling at me and he stormed off. The cartoonist said, "That's the animation guy, right?". And I said, "Yeah". And he asked me what was the matter, and I didn't know what to say. The following night  Darwyn walked up behind me in the bar to say, close into my ear (scaring the shit out of me), "You need help." Then he walked off. And that was that. I was written off. 

We didn't talk for a while after that, and it really bothered me. I still don't know what the hell was going on. Mutual friends just shrugged when I asked them, they didn't know either. Or they didn't tell me. After some time passed Darwyn started talking to me again at cons and at a mutual friend's wedding party, but we stopped talking via e-mail or phone. 

Before the falling out, Darwyn had joked about buying the original art for Suck Book #5 and tearing it up and/or burning it. And I thought he was serious, because while I didn't know Darwyn closely as a friend, I knew him well enough to think he was capable of doing it for a gag. Oh, hell yeah. I took him seriously and wouldn't sell it to him. Oh, hell no. I always need the money, but I couldn't stand the idea of the page getting destroyed. Only I can tear up my art! 

After the falling out, his wife, Marsha, e-mailed me about buying the cover art as a gift for Darwyn. And I was really confused as to what to do. We eventually did sell Marsha the cover, and Darwyn did not tear it up or burn it. Instead, Darwyn sent me a photograph of himself with a drink, raised in a toast, standing before the framed cover on his wall. It broke my heart in some ways, made me extremely happy in others.

Afterward, Darwyn drew an adorable Wonder Women sketch in our kid's sketchbook at Heroes, despite his not sketching at the show. (Marsha said he'd draw for kids when he could, because, kids, right? I love that). We talked here and there a little at a few cons, at a party. When Darwyn passed away I had all the emotions you go through when you can't see someone you knew anymore and maybe become better friends, or at least have a few better times together at a show or something and iron things out clearly someday one way or the other. And it was a terrible thing beyond my own personal feelings. And I cried at my computer when I found out that he'd died. 

Life is a Suck Book. The bullshit takes up time that could've been good things.