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You can check out I Am Empowered's previous installment here, or check out the entire archive of this defunct project here.

In case you'd forgotten, or are a semi-recent Patron and haven't had the time nor the inclination to look back though this site's sprawling archive, I Am Empowered was a short-lived prose project in which I tried to flesh out aspects of Emp's story not fully addressed in the comic proper. I wrote Emp's first-person narration in (old) Twitter-based 140-character format, with the time-jumping narrative taking place roughly around the beginning of Empowered vol.1.

We've hit the point in this loose jumble of episodes that no remaining chapter is complete; all the remaining material from this abortive project is a series of fragmentary sketches that wheeze to a halt in an inconclusive manner.

Anyhoo, with this particular incomplete excerpt, I worked up a lecture from Dr. Big McLarge Huge that was reused quite directly for the flashback pages from Empowered vol. 10 seen above.

UPDATE: In our previous excerpts, a new-to-the-team Emp was dispatched to a "baseline medical exam"  appointment at the Purple Paladin Memorial Hospital’s Suprahuman Treatment Wing.”


ELISSA GETS SCANNED (Part 4)

Whatever Dr. Big McLarge Huge’s other virtues as a Superhuman Medicine specialist, a comforting bedside manner certainly isn’t one of them.

“Bedside manner” is purely a figure of speech, of course, as he’s far too strappingly humongous to squeeze in next to a normal-sized bed.

“In place of the standard Post-Concussion Symptoms Scale, we use the cape-specialized Supracombat Concussion Assessment Tool, version 4.”

I nod sagely, pooching my lips out in faux-informed approval as if I have the slightest grasp of the medical jargon he’s rattling off.

“Understand, as an active cape you are guaranteed to experience mild or severe traumatic brain injury, very likely on a repeated basis.

“The average superhero is exposed to far higher levels of concussive trauma than a professional athlete or active-duty military veteran.

“And like many athletes or vets, capes with repeated traumatic brain injuries often develop Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy later in life."

<Unfinished section>

“Have you heard the slang term ‘blast lung’ by now?” Mute head-shake from me, answering—and exasperated—head-shake from him.

“That’s a primary injury from a blast’s shock wave, which happens to be the main cause of death for capes who initially survive explosions.”

He thumps one huge paw against an acre of broad chest. “Massive overpressure waves cause severe pulmonary contusions, bleeding, swelling.”

Another chest-thump. “The injured lungs fill up with blood and fluids. Gas exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide fails. Hypoxia kicks in.

“Despite no outward sign of injury, a cape can suddenly drop dead from ‘blast lung’ complications minutes or even hours after an explosion.”

“Capes are statistically prone to the unusual combat experience of large explosions indoors, in labs or lairs or other enclosed facilities.

“That’s unfortunate, because shock-wave reflections off solid surfaces can massively amplify blast effects.”

<Unfinished section>

“Unique among all non-pediatric demographics, superheroes are anomalously prone to suffering from ‘shaken-baby syndrome’ as adults.

“When you’re ragdolled by a superstrong villain like BeShemoth or King Tyrant Lizard, you suffer trauma similar to a victimized infant.

“This commonly includes extensive ‘coup’ and ‘contrecoup’ head injuries,” he growls. “Shall I define those for you?”

Before I can recoil, he looms closer and a sausage-sized, latex-gloved finger taps me on the forehead, right on my mask’s golden triangle.

“When your skull either strikes or is struck by an object, a so-called ‘coup’ injury to the brain occurs at the direct site of impact.”

Sausage-tap on the back of my head. “A ‘contrecoup’ injury occurs when the brain rebounds violently against the back of the skull.”

“These injuries most commonly result in retinal hemorrhage and subdural hematomas—bleeding in the brain."

<Unfinished section>

“Excellent idea, having a nice, clear target plastered on your forehead,” he says, again sausage-tapping the yellow triangle above my eyes.

“That should definitely assist bad-guy shooters in making successful head shots on you.”

<Calls to mind that Frank Miller Dark Knight Returns bit about "That's why I wear a target on my chest, doesn't it?">


Anyhoo, by the time I reused this material in Empowered vol.10's flashback scene above, I'd completely reconsidered the idea of even vaguely nosing around "medical semi-realism" in regards to superheroism. In fact, I find myself intrigued by the idea that neurological functions are skewed in a sweeping manner (for narrative convenience, natch) within the wacky rules of a superhero universe, which pretty much obviates most if not all of Dr. McHuge's lecture; oh, well.

NEXT TIME ON I AM EMPOWERED: That's it for the Suprahuman Treatment Wing material, but I do still have a few remaining scraps that could be reused for posts in 2022. Yay?

NEXT TIME ON THIS HERE PATREON: No idea, to be perfectly frank! Howeva, I am indeed doing a full workweek of posts to wrap up 2022 (UPDATE: I meant 2021, of course), so somethin' will go up tomorrow.


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Comments

applewifey

Dr. Big McLarge is quite cute 🥺 his lashes in the last panel sold me…and his bulge of course

Strypgia

It's not unreasonable to have the peculiar medical anomalies that crop up in patterns be the subject of his actually doing a study or something on it. Although the answer will probably end up just being "superpower bullshit".

Lex of Excel

Honestly the premise of a superpowered being suffering from CTE seems horrific given the horror stories of athletes getting violent...

Lex of Excel

I grade comic book science on a curve. Unless it's bad enough to ruin a story, I don't mind fudging things.

JKurt

Always happy for more I Am Empowered! I think you said you had an episode that went in to more depth about the unwritten rules that sounded fun

adamwarren

Yeahp, that's one of the last incomplete story fragments left, along with one about Emp's experiences in the Superteam Draft.

totallySafeUsername

Will we ever see Dr. Big McLarge do some "on the fly chiropractic" moves on a supervillain?

JKurt

Oh cool! I had always wondered if Emp ever tried to join a team