Uncommunicative (Patreon)

Another installment in this little thing that’s become a series. In case you missed it, I have a tag for these now, down below with G&T. No T in this one I’m afraid though, as Gita meets up with an old friend. I really liked working this interaction out. Might’ve gone on a bit longer than previous though because of it. Hope you enjoy it either way.

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“And so officially? The “big move?” That is happening next Saturday,” Gita explained over the din of the bar, munching on one of the messy nachos chips she had ordered. The intent had been to share them, but that didn’t seem to be panning out. Having just come from the office, she had the tight top button of her shirt undone, the rest of the buttons straining a little. “But like by “big,” all that I have leftover at my place still is like my desk, my office chair, & a few kind of gnarly boxes of books at this point. Oh & like some rando tchotchkes.” She paused to take a sip from her drink. She fidgeted in the stool a bit, wishing she had brought a change of clothes with her. The high waist of her office skirt was causing a bulge of belly flub to muffin a bit. She tried to not pay attention whenever she inadvertently bumped into it with her elbows. “But it’s not like I have a ton of furniture. And what’s there is mostly heavy guy stuff Tom can carry.” She smiled. “Everything else, my clothes, my computer, my plants, I’ve kind of carted over piecemeal on my own already in like the week since. One knapsack, duffel bag, & metro ride at a time.”

“Cool,” Dani nodded, setting her drink down after taking the shortest sip. “Cool, cool.” It wasn’t exactly a blow off response, but the surrounding terseness definitely made it feel like one.

Gita was feeling a little dismayed. Sure, going into the finer details of moving in with Tom maybe wasn’t the absolute pinnacle of riveting conversation, but something was definitely up. In fact, the only reason Gita found herself resorting to this level of mundane small talk was through Dani’s stonewalling in the first place. She was giving her absolutely nothing of substance to work with. Which was all & all, very much not like her college bff.

As dorm mates & later eventually as roommates for a year & a half after that, the two were pretty much inseparable, seeing each other day in, day out. And throughout? Current interactions aside, Dani was typically the more outgoing & confident one, while Gita, was the nerdier, more reserved, & mousier of the two. To the point where in  everyday moments even now, as Gita found more & more confidence in herself, she’d sometimes internally ask herself what Dani would do, in hopes of channeling that brash bravado she admired in her longtime friend.

After Dani got her dream job & relocated, they went from seeing each other daily to once every few months, relegating most of their interactions these days purely to the realm of social media. And putting a further strain on that fleeting quality time, with how the world has been, Dani’s work had her traveling even less recently. This caused those few hang outs a year to become even fewer & farther between. Hell, this was like the first time they had to actually be in the same room with each other in nearly a whole freaking year! And why Gita felt so let down Dani just seemed so detached right now. Pensive. Not her jovial self, but quiet & elusive. No boisterous, playful banter between them, but mostly rushed, one word responses. It was then that Gita realized she had let an uncomfortable amount of silence fall between them. And still, she felt compelled to be the one to fill it.

“How about you?” She pressed, trying not to come off as bothered. She nudged the plate of nachos in Dani’s direction. She passed with a subtle wave.

“Me?” Dani finally made a brief bit of eye contact, but only through what seemed like overcorrection through hardly paying attention. Her long, brown hair twirled up in a messy bun, & rolly suitcase off to the side, it was pretty apparent she had just stepped off a plane. But she didn’t seem all that tired. Just aloof. “Oh, you know…” The silence continued to creep in as she didn’t seem intent to follow up further.

“I mean I don’t. That’s why I asked.” Gita pressed further, serious in her inquiry but undercutting some of the tension with a laugh. Her brow tightened. Not that Dani was even looking in her direction to see it. “Are you… okay?”

“I’m fine.” Dani lowered her head. There was something about how rapid, how sharp she needed to insist how fine she was that betrayed just how not fine things truly were for her that moment.

“Okay well,” Gita chuckled, pulling a nacho from the pile. The cheese seemed to cling on for dear life, causing an almost comically stretch. “You certainly don’t seem it.” She sighed, looking to the side a little dismayed while biting into the loaded chip. “You’re acting… pretty weird.” As Gita’s eyes went one way, Dani’s came back to the center of the table, clearly feeling a little guilty. After a second, she managed to piece together a timid question.

“Is… everything… alright?” The words left her mouth shakily.

“That’s pretty much what I just asked you.” Gita scoffed. “Verbatim.” For the first time this outing, Dani looked up at her directly, with drilling, focused eyes. Her expression a bit stern. As if that wasn’t an adequate enough response for her. Gita continued with a wistful thoughtfulness, taking honest stock of her current life. “I mean, for me? Personally? I don’t think things have honestly ever been better,” She proudly concluded. “Why?” Her friend seemed a little taken back.

“Um…” Dani’s eyes squirrelly trying to find the words & once again, not Gita’s eyeline. “Well, there’s not really a very delicate way to put this.”

At that point, she really didn’t have to. Gita knew exactly where she was going. It was the elephant in the room after all. In more ways than one. Part of her had already anticipated the topic being broached at some point. But not like this. Was that what was killing the vibes this whole time?

Of course Dani wasn’t the first person to notice the recent changes in Gita. She wasn’t oblivious to all the awkward or sidelong glances she got around the office, or with some of her other local friends she saw a little more often. But they all seemed to bite their tongues. Surprisingly, Dani was the first, over the course of all this, to ever even attempt bringing it to Gita’s attention. And in Dani’s defense, it was like she was getting it incrementally in smaller doses like the others. Just boom! Almost double the size, all at once. And this whole time, the poor thing continued to stammer on, desperately trying to be gentle.

“How do I say this…?” She braced. Mercifully, Gita saved her the effort.

“It’s okay. It’s not like… stress,” Gita offered, her lips curling into a bit of a blushing grin. “If that’s what you’re getting at.” Dani’s brows bounced a little, indicating they were on the page, even though neither of them had spelled out exactly what it was. Still, with it being addressed, a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She suddenly seemed at least somewhat relieved, to the point where she didn’t seem to mind looking in Gita’s general direction anymore. Like she was off the hook. But then, there was still the matter of it to address.

“Are you sure? This guy you’ve been seeing. Moving in with him. These are like sort of big life changes you’re going through right now. Amidst everything else going on in the world.?” Dani offered. “It’s certainly a lot for anybody, & I mean-”

“Listen to yourself,” Gita chortled, cutting through the faux-formality in Dani’s concerned tone.

“What do you mean?” Once again, her friend seemed a little taken back.

“I mean,” Gita laughed albeit a little mockingly. “You sound a hell of a lot more stressed & worried about things than me!”

“Because you’re my bestie!” Dani leaned in, trying to offer a smile.

“Oh, now you’re my bestie,” Gita laughed, cringing a little at the term for good measure. “Two minutes ago, you seemed like you wanted nothing to do with me!” While accusatory, & true, Gita maintained her laughter to show she wasn’t all that mad. She just wanted her bestie to loosen up. And she hoped being this frank would help shake Dani out of her self imposed awkwardness.

“No!” Dani insisted sharply, raising her voice a little. “It’s not…! That’s not it! I just-“ While Gita might’ve anticipated the topic coming up, she didn’t quite anticipate just how shocked & concerned Dani would actually be about it. Or how desperate she was to beat around the bush in regards to it, in order to spare feelings. Or, stranger yet, how that kind of a reaction, from someone that knew her the best, would start to cause her cheeks to flush. And Gita slowly realized what she was feeling wasn’t quite embarrassment, but something else. She tried not to think about that. Not right now anyway. “Is it- are you on any medication then?”

“No. Daniella.” Gita insisted, resorting to her full name to get her to listen. “I’m straight up telling you: it’s nothing like that.” She paused to take a sip from her drink, stalling to find the right words to put her best friend at the most ease. “Overall? I’m happier right now than I may have ever been at any previous point in my life.”

“Happy?” Dani repeated somewhat doubtfully. Almost as if the concept of joy itself had somehow now become completely alien to her. “With…?” Her hands & fingers stretched apart from one another to gesticulate it. Gita chortled at her pantomime, & bounced one of her soft shoulders, shrugging before giving a subtle, little nod.

Gita wished she had Dani’s blinking reaction on video. She wagered she could go back & find the precise nanosecond Dani’s mind had been blown. She was no stranger to a bit of softening herself. While not quite an athlete, she was never not involved in something active back in the day. Be it hiking or yoga, or that summer she tried to take up kayaking. And it all seemed to help her keep fairly toned. But ever since college, a slowing metabolism & sedentary office gig that regularly spilled over the standard forty hours a week & into her gym time both saw to that. In the proceeding years, she had happened to grow a bit wider in the middle. Not by leaps or bounds, but noticeably doughy in a slow, consistent way. And it was most definitely, very much to her dismay. Which, by contrast, is probably why she had such a difficult time understanding Gita’s zen-like ambivalence.

“You cannot be-“ She carried a look of shock. “You’re…? You’re… trying to…?” Gita, in response, snatched up another nacho, tipping it before giving it a load crunch.

“It’s less that I’m actively looking to,” she clarified while munching. “And more that I just realized I really, really like to eat. And when the opportunity seemed to arise, just stopped holding myself back. Or terribly mind the result.” She gulped. “C’mon! Don’t you remember? How jealous I used to be of that gorgeous rack of yours?”

“All I remember is you getting a little too touchy-feely once or twice after a few keggers.” Dani scowled.

“Okay look,” Laughing awkwardly, Gita brought her hands up. “I don’t know how many times you’re going to need me to apologize for those…” For the first time in nearly a year, Gita saw signs of a smirk flash onto Dani’s face. “But take my word for it! I was as flat as a board. And with no ass to speak of. So I was always pretty envious of women with proper curves, present company included.” Dani knew it was true. In fact, prior to Tom, she was the only other person Gita had ever really confided that sort of information.

Suddenly, Dani pounded the pub table with the soft side of her fist. Gita winced, her soft bulges jiggling slightly as she recoiled. The humble beginnings of that smirk Dani had been trying to sport made way to another scowl. She leaned in, almost as if she was ready to go to war.

“Is it… Tom…?” She seethed. She was always very protective of Gita. She only knew him through stories & what she could snoop through in social media. Not from ever meeting him in person. Gita munched on her nacho for a second as she mulled the best way to answer that question. She saw no reason to lie. Not to her best friend. She wanted to be as accurate as possible.

“If I’m being absolutely completely honest,” Gita sighed with a soft smile after finally swallowing. “I’m not going to pretend like he wasn’t some sort of a… catalyst in all this.” Dani’s eyes intensified. “If he didn’t drop a few hints, here & there, generally seem cool with me allowing to like… indulge? Well I’d probably fit in this thing a little better for one.” Gita joked, adjusting her top. Dani’s ire was boiling over with what she probably thought was righteous anger. “But!” Gita raised an index finger & stretched her neck, in order to help punctuate & make that “but” bigger. Dani begrudgingly continued listening. “It’s not like he’s the one that saw me & immediately started shoving the food down my throat! While he is very much into it, it’s ultimately my body. And my say! And he’s been very much respectful, & appreciative of that!”

“But he likes… like… more of you?” Dani was having such trouble wrapping her head around the idea. Gita laughed with a warm sigh.

“Ohh-ho yeah he does.” She tried to level with Dani, offering as much naked honesty as she could. “I never, in my life, would’ve ever imagined being this lusted over. Or beyond that, as sappy as it may sound, feel this loved.” Slowly, while the shock still sort of reverberated, Dani began to realize Gita was speaking from a place of genuine sincerity. 

“Ok well,” she seemed begrudgingly able to admit. “If that’s the case? I just hope you know what you’re doing.” It was still very much clear she didn’t quite get it. And she might truly never. But she saw Gita speaking from a place of happiness, & slowly seemed to be reaching some level of acceptance. In turn, Gita’s smile only broadened, warming further.

”What?” She chuckled. “No “but Gi! Your health tho” or anything?”

”No,” Dani shrugged. “You’re a big gir- I mean…” Gita inserted a faux-offended gasp as the two laughed. “I mean!” Dani stressed again, to get back on track. “You were always the responsible one. I trust you to know what’s right for you.” She lifted her cocktail for another sip. “Even if I think you two have the weirdest fucking kinks.”

”Don’t shame us.” Gita laughed. “But seriously, he’s just… the best. The way he treats me? He makes me feel like a goddamn goddess!”

“Damn,” she attempted to joke, a much more characteristic smile trying to find its way back to resting her face. “And all that from just helping yourself to a few extra slices of cheesecake?”

“Oh my god!” Gita was suddenly reminded. “Crazy you should say that! Tom brought me here a few weeks back. And like… for a bar? Their dessert menu? Absolutely out of this world!” Her words coming a mile a minute. Dani’s eyes went wild, as she continued to thaw from the icy start to this outing. All as Gita had built to a gleefully devious expression. “You wanna split one of their cheesecakes?!”

“What?” Dani nearly gagged. “A whole one?”

“C’mon! I’ll eat whatever you don’t have!” Gita assured. But then her lips puckered off to the side. “Though,” she let hang for a second. “If you’re oh so concerned about my um… figure? You could always try to stop me yourself, just by going halfsies.”

“Ech, fine,” Dani caved to peer pressure with a leery smile. “You’re on.” She fidgeted, but felt the need to clarify. “On sharing some I mean. I definitely can’t go halfsies. You psycho.”

“Oh c’mon!” Gita chided.

“No!” Dani laughed firmly. “I’ll explode!”

“From that? Psssh! Lightweight!”