Bellflower Part 47 (Patreon)

In this installment, Holly tries to get away. And after a somewhat strange encounter, visits the park. But away from people & technology, she starts to notice some things. Also Rachel attempts to make amends.

Took longer than anticipated, but mostly because I kept adding to it. So the result is a bit of a long one. And I know everyone seems to like Rachel, but I find Holly more fun to write. Not just from her having a more brash, generally outgoing personality,  because it's interesting at times to have her question her own perspective. If that makes any sense. Anyway, maybe the idyllic Bellflower lifestyle's finally starting to crack for her. Or maybe it isn't. Either way, I hope you enjoy!

|||||

47

|||||

As determined as she was to do this, Holly moved at her own pace.

It took her a bit to get her act in gear, but after managing to finally find an outfit that fit well enough, she stepped onto the elevator. Double fisting the two thick fluffy pieces of buttered toast Penny insisted she take with her, going out the door, she didn’t care for the horizontal blue stripes of the tank top she had settled on. And it used to seem much… flowier, back when she first got it just a week or so ago. But the fact it just covered her gut was enough for her. For today anyway. Again, she reminded herself internally, mid crispy toast chomp, today was all about de-stressing. Not getting worked up. She was making a point to get away from everybody, soak up some nature! No one, at least nobody she knew, would be all the way out there, let alone judging how much wider horizontal stripes inadvertently made her seem. With a deep sigh, she held her eyes shut for a second & tried to let some of the built up angst  leave her body. The doors shut & the elevator began its slow, crawling descent.

“Miss Holly, I have an update on your phone!” Her Penny suddenly seemed to cut in on the elevator’s speaker. “It seems as though if you leave now, you will just miss it.”

“Well, I guess it’ll be right here waiting for me when I get back!” Holly chidingly shrugged, once again much to the AI’s dismay. “You’ll keep it nice & safe for me, right?”

“I will have it all set up & ready upon your return, Miss Holly.” A somewhat disheartened Penny assured her. “Transferring all of the previous data from your recent backup yesterday morning before you awoke.”

“Aweso- wait… What?”

“Your data. As a feature on my app, I download a backup instance every morning before you wake up.” Penny explained, some of the disappointment leaving. “For just this type of occasion.”

“Wow.” Holly was surprised. “That’s pretty handy.”

“Yes,” Penny assured. “All to make your busy life easier.”

The elevator suddenly dinged & stopped after only two floors. The screen from which Penny was talking went blank before clicking to the standard floor counter. Holly, a bit startled, subconsciously shifted to the side a little to make room as the doors parted, hoping it didn’t sound as though she was talking to herself. Waiting in the hall was a short, round Italian woman with frizzy curls propped back by a headband, squeezed into dayglo workout gear. Holly had noticed her once or twice before. Made a mental note of the denial this woman seemed to harbor, given her size & the size of the all-too truthful neon she wore. But she also realized at that moment, feeling like a bit of a stuffed sausage in her own tights, she had little room to talk. So instead, she flashed the warm smile she reserved for strangers, before her eyes ricocheted off to the side. But she could feel the woman stare at her for a second or two longer than usual. Holly pressed further into the side, hoping to offer more room as the other woman stepped on. As slow as the cars may have been, they were both lucky there was plenty of room. As the woman turned to face the door, the elevator dinged once again, & the doors slid closed. Holly tried to mousily nibble down the last piece of her toast between dainty fingers.

“You’re Rachel’s sister, arentcha?” The woman in the too tight workout gear asked blankly after they’d already descended another floor, or two.

“Y-you know… Rachel…?” Holly asked, taken back a little, inadvertently sending a few bread crumbs flying.

“Just… y’know, from ‘round the building.” The woman smiled shyly.

“Huh,” Holly sharply guffawed before catching herself. She had to swallow some toast first. “Oh. Sorry. I mean, she’s never really been the most outgoing person. Hard to imagine her being…  all that sociable.”

“She may be a little on the shy side,” The woman granted. “But she’s a real sweetheart. You can tell she cares a lot about other people, even if she isn’t all that outgoing about it.” At first, Holly didn’t see the woman scanning her shape out of the corner of her eye. “Can really tell she cares about you. Dearly.” When Holly looked over, the frizzy haired woman spun her neck forward to glance toward the door. “Even if she maybe isn’t always the most... diplomatic in the ways she goes about trying to express it.”

“Wait… I’m sorry,” Holly looked to reset. “My name’s Holly. And you are…?”

“Oh, sorry.” The woman smiled. “Sorry. How rude of me! I’m Fran.” She bucked her head in a nod. “You might’ve seen me too, coming or going. I live across the way from Deidre. Know you all work together.” Holly pursed her lips into something of a smile & nodded.

“Wow,” She shook her head, trying to maintain a polite demeanor, but taking somewhat of a disadvantaged jab. “It’s like you practically know everybody here!”

“Nah,” Fran laughed off, fiddling with a heart rate setting on her watch. “Just a small building, s’all. Been here for a while at this point.” She let the humming motor of the slow elevator fill the void for the space of a solid ten seconds. “Playin’ hooky today?”

“Taking a mental health day.” Holly reluctantly said with a sigh, & a face that conveyed the “if you must know” a little more than her tone. “Going out to the park. Get away, get some fresh air.”

“Oh!” Fran now seemed the one suddenly taken back a little. “That’s… that’s awesome!” The seeming sincerity of it struck Holly strangely. “Yeah, no! It’s great! Getting away from this damn place, whenever the hell you can!” While it might’ve just been small talk, there was a certain adamance couched in Fran’s stammering. “That’s great.” She eventually capped. Silence fell between them again awkwardly. It was becoming excruciating. This would’ve been the time Holly pulled out her phone. But given the fact she just had to go off without one, instead she buckled.

“Going for a jog?” she pressured herself into asking.

“Trying to.” Fran said with a resigned sigh. Almost as if she didn’t want to talk about it. But also relieved that the silence was broken. “See how far I get. Off to a pretty late start today.”

“Well I’ve seen you around.” Holly smirked. “I used to be a runner myself. Before-” She stopped herself from gesturing towards her body.

“Yeah? And what’s stopping you now?” Fran chidingly poked.

“Oh. Believe me. I’ve… tried. At Rachel’s behest.” Holly swore she could feel a drip of sweat roll down her forehead just thinking about it. “No way! No thanks. Not for me any more.” She dropped the faux laugh in an attempt to be earnest. “But seeing you, your dedication? It’s like… super admirable.”

“Aw,” Fran nodded. “Thanks.” Mercifully, the elevator finally dinged at the lobby. Fran’s stop. As the doors opened, she took a heavy step towards them. “You know, if you ever feel like giving it another shot, hit me up! Could always use company.” Holly smiled & nodded, with a slight wave.

“I’ll… consider it.” The subtext of course being “No fucking way in hell.” In fact, her mind reeling back to when she was such a sweaty mess several pounds ago, she was even starting to get a little trepidatious about this whole park idea. “Nice meeting you though.”
“You too.” Fran nodded from the other side of the elevator doors. She started to warm up as they began to slide shut. The jogging in place motion making every bit of her tightly packed body wiggle before leaving Holly’s view.

She tried to fight it. She needed to fight it. But it was proving impossible.

Then suddenly, she kicked out from her desk, her squeaky chair suddenly filling the quiet room with terrible noises.

“Okay, Trudy. You really need to chill with the donuts.” Rachel sternly practiced her boss tone, as she stomped over to the table in the center of the room, caving to grab her second strawberry frosted. She knew the first was already a horrible idea. But the box kept staring at her.

“But I thought you liked them.” They said plainly, albeit a bit wounded. Trudy had just finished a powdered donut of their own, sucking the excess sugar off their thumb. “You have at least one every time.”

“And therein lies the problem.” Rachel sighed before preparing to bite into the jumbo sized pastry.

“Dawn said it was a copy writing department tradition though. Someone brings donuts.” Trudy muttered, returning to their work. They weren’t getting what Rachel meant, despite how plump they themself were getting. As they pulled themself closer to their desk, Rachel tried to not notice how their plump sides seemed wedged between the arms of their rolly chair, their white & beige striped button down bulging &  gradually tugging the buttons asunder.

“What’s this other one?” Rachel asked with a mouthful, rattling the box. Of the half dozen, only one remained.

“Hazelnut, I think.” Trudy said. “Thought I wanted to try it but I didn’t. I already had my three.” It sounded a forlorn as Trudy could possibly manage. As if they really wanted to have another, but given their strict adherence to rules, Trudy already had their half. And in that instance, Rachel admired their willpower.

“Well I’ve already had more than I should.” She rattled the box, more than anything not wanting it around. “It’s all yours.”

“No!” Trudy said sharply. Rachel took a huge bite of her strawberry donut half scowling at their tone. But at the same time, keeping it here was a ticking caloric time bomb. And she knew she’d probably crack before Trudy did. She rattled the box again, causing a lightbulb to go off.

“Fine. I’ll be back in a second.” Rachel waved the box, before absconding with it.

“Are you sure I cannot talk you out of this, Miss Holly?” Penny once again tried as Holly started her SUV’s engine.

“Jesus, Penny!” She scoffed, half startled. Without her phone, she wasn’t expecting Penny to be able to connect, let alone just start talking upon ignition “What’s gotten into you? Why don’t you want me to spend just a little time away?!”

“I just worry for your safety.” Penny asserted.

“It’s just a park though.” Holly fired back. “What could possibly-”

“According to the Regional Post, in 1994, a jogger was minding his own business one time when a large buck jumped onto the path & gored him with its antlers.”

“1994?”

“I am just concerned for you.” Penny repeated. “There are so many variables, I cannot assure your wellbei-”

“I managed perfectly fine before moving here, Pen.” Holly laughed as she swiped Penny away from the display & fiddled with her car’s GPS. “It’s not like I’m going skydiving or something. It’s just a nature walk, for cryin’ out loud.” Holly didn’t know the name of the place, but knew the general location in relation to the Bellflower. It only took a little zooming out before a giant swath of green appeared on the screen. Of course, Penny had one more ace up her sleeve.

“Ooh, there’s a Taco Cantina on the way.” Holly cooed. Forgetting all about the toast that was supposed to hold her over, that suddenly sounded really good to her. “Have a nice little picnic, all to myself? Yes please.”

A cardboard box hovered next to Camille’s head.

“Peace offering?” A voice winced with an uneasy giggle. Undoubtedly Rachel’s.

“Didn’t know there was even a war going.” Cami leaned back to look up with a bit of a squint, using her mousy, indoor, office voice.

“I just… felt kinda bad,” Rachel admitted. “The way I bolted, I-”

“No! No.” Cami stopped her, gladly accepting the box. “I was… three sheets to the wind. Started being a little… extra.” She fiddled with the cardboard. “Oooh.” She cooed, staring down at the plump donut. “Wait…” Fanning her chubby fingers daintily, Cami poked at the cream insertion point before quickly apply a smear past her lips. “Mmm, hazelnut?” Her eyes flaring wide & her voice ramping a little past mousy. She reigned it back in a little. “How didja know it was my fave?”

“Lucky guess.” Rachel shrugged out of sheer serendipity. Camille leaned back in her office chair, the mechanical bits making loud, groaning creaks. Cami’s eyes fluttered provocatively as she sunk her teeth into the dough, the dark cream almost exploding onto her tongue.

“Mmmmmhmmm.” She purred, far, far too into it for Rachel’s comfort, as redness hit the increasing roundness of her cheeks. On the one hand, inadvertently adding to Cami’s caloric intake made her feel pretty conflicted, given everything going on. On the other hand? The amount of joy it seemed to bring her?  As she watched the greedy little rich girl chomp down happily, Rachel decided that in this one instance? It was better to bring Cami just a bit of extra joy than keep that donut around to possibly contribute to making her own fat ass any bigger. That’s when Rachel looked up across the grouping of desks to where her sister was supposed to be seated. There was only an empty office chair, listing quite a bit to one side. “Oh this is sooo, so good!” Cami moaned. “Always thought donuts were so… pedestrian. But fuck! Next time you really want to treat me…?”

“You hear from Holly at all?” Rachel asked changing the subject, staring at the empty seat.

“Mmm,” Cami worked to swallow her current mouthful, wiping a bit of cream from the corner of her mouth. She looked back up at Rachel as if she should’ve already known, but her tone refrained from any judgment. “Mental health day.” She sucked that cream from the back of her hand. “Could probably use one, after… well...”

“Rachel!” a voice from the corner boomed out of the blue, startling both women. Standing next to the glass divider of her office, a somewhat disheveled Deidre stood. Her short hair seemed a little greasy & bedraggled. She wore a sweater that struggled to clasp close at the bust line over what may have been a band t-shirt. Presentable enough, but definitely not “professional,” she wasn’t her usual prim & proper self. But also, a modicum of relief seemed to dance across her face upon locking eyes. Still, there was a sternness to her voice. “Glad you’re here. A word?” She asked, pivoting on her heel to step back inside.

“Oooh, someone’s in trouble.” Cami joked at the volume of a whisper. Rachel scoffed & shook her head.

“We’ll catch up later?” Rachel asked, taking a step towards the enclosed office.

“Mmmm,” a happy Cami nodded emphatically, scarfing another bite. She waved the remaining bite & a half as a cheers. “Thanks again!”

Holly’s SUV pulled up along a stretch of macadam, with no marking for parking spaces, but facing a row of picnic benches under the roof of a small pavilion, situated to face what looked like a pristine lake. There were a few other cars, sparsely dotting the blacktop, but it seemed like she picked the perfect day to come. She could see the gentle wind causing small waves to lap a small semblance of a little makeshift beach. Besides not bringing one, it’d been quite some time since she tried to squeeze into a bathing suit. Hell, she definitely needed a new one. A one piece, to be sure. But heck, maybe she could kick her sandals off & at least dip her toes in? That sounded wonderful! Across the small body of water on the adjacent shore, a rolling green ridge stretched upward, blocking out the horizon, but more importantly any signs of civilization.

“Can’t believe it took me so long to come out here!” Holly said pleasantly proud of the plan she made, & managed to stick to. “It’s gorgeous!”

“I suppose.” A somewhat defeated Penny seemed to almost sigh before Holly turned off the ignition.

“Oh hush up already, you.”

Holly stepped out into the warm pleasant breeze. And the quiet. That’s not to say her condo wasn’t soundproofed well. But having been so close to the Bellflower for the stretch of a few months, there was always that low din of highway traffic off in the distance. Now? Nothing but the serenity of the breeze & the water gently lapping the shoreline.

With her sunglasses on, an XL diet soda in one hand & a jumbo bag of dollar menu tacos & quesadillas in the other, she blipped the alarm on her car, more out of force of habit than anything. Smelling the contents of the bag the entire ride, it was a fight not to tear into them on the road. But Holly was no animal! They were just a little too messy to attempt to eat while driving. Shredded lettuce getting everywhere? Still, the aroma had quite the effect, & now, she was positively starving! Swinging her wide hips to avoid a trash can just to the edge of the parking area, she happily marched in a b-line towards the pavilion. Weirdly, it was noticeable just how much gentler the grass & soil were on her heavy ankles. Probably on account of how long she had gone for without having even touched a patch of grass. Still, at about the halfway point of the twelve yard walk, she let out a huff. The air was crisp & fresh, but the walk was feeling a lot longer than it had looked from the car. She took a sip from her soda, but weirdly, she almost thought as though her intense hunger was starting to fade. The closer she got to the benches, the heft of the bag started to feel like way too much. Less a reward, now, in a way, an almost daunting task.

She plodded under the shady cover of the pavilion roof & towards the table closest to the pretty lake, setting the bag down with some relief. She took another long, refreshing swig of cola before setting that down too. And letting her hands fall to her sides, for a moment, she took a deep breath & just tried to soak it all in. Partially to admire the beauty of everything, & to let all of the anxiety drain out of her, but also, to procrastinate from having to try & humiliatingly squeeze her bulk into the flimsy looking, old wooden picnic bench, in a way that made sense. Was it just her or was this like a kiddy table? It seemed so small, the gaps too narrow. It couldn’t have been standard, regulation size. Hell, was there a standard size of bench? Pristine vista or not, having stood there for a little longer than she would have prefered, she did a quick scan to see if the coast was clear before making her attempt.

“Okay,” she sighed to herself. “Le’ssee...” With a pudgy palm, she braced herself against the tabletop, trying to lift her leg. The goal was to go up & over the seat, but suddenly Holly was confronted with muscles she had not used in a while. And a leg that felt so damn heavy! The exertion squeezed out a groan, but she seemed able to manage, gently trying to lower her large rear, bracing as the wood protested. Now, sitting somewhat side-saddle at an angle, the next step would be to kick her other leg up & over, scooting on her butt cheeks to turn to face towards the beautiful water, as well as her awaiting tacos, which, through no fault of their own, were somehow becoming increasingly unappetizing to her. Maybe she could bring some home & fridge them? That thought could wait, as a newproblem seemed to rear its ugly head.

Just by the way the edge of the table jutted uncomfortably into her soft side, Holly could tell there was no room for her to swing forward. Not without cutting her gut in half, or smooshing the girls up into her grill, both in ways that would make it impossible to eat. For a second, she entertained the idea of leaning further back, or scooting her butt further back to hang off behind her, but neither seemed to make logistical sense. She paused to suck more cola from the straw, hoping the refreshing frostiness of the bubbly, ice cold drink would somehow jog an epiphany out of her. Instead, she noticed that in all her hesitation, first to not sit, & now trying to figure out how to sit, now even her cup was soaked with condensation, & slowly warming. And on top of this, stuck in this half-in, half-out, half-assed side saddle position was hurting her rear, despite its cushioning.

With another, now more resigned sigh, she had to face the fact that she just didn’t fit. With another grunt, she kicked the leg she managed to get underneath, back over, scooting on her butt to face the parking lot. While it felt like there was more butt than seat in terms of depth & the table now just into her soft back, this was probably the most comfortable she could imagine herself being with this particular bit of public furniture. Still, Holly huffed another frustrated sigh. She didn’t drive all this way to stare back at her own dumb car. She decided, this is how she would sit, just on the other side of the table. With a beachfront view. The only problem with that was it would require her to get up again. And with the table already pushing into her back, it was hard to do so with what had become her standard, building the momentum with a rocking start.

“Hyup!” she involuntarily grunted, trying to lunge her weight forward. It wasn’t as successful as she would’ve hoped. For one, a bulge of butt now hit the underside of the table, impeding her. With an annoyed sneer, she did what she could to wiggle a few inches further off, trying again. But butt was still in the way! Still? If she scooted forward another inch, she was worried of spilling onto the concrete floor. She drooped back to a resting position, flailing again for her cola. Try as she might, the vision of herself reflected in that bathroom mirror came rushing back to her.

Had she really, somehow grown even fatter than she thought she was? Was she missing something? Between the her she thought she saw in those brief couple of moments of her extremely bad day, & her experience today, trying to get comfortable, & just not fitting? Her butt almost getting stuck? It really started to feel like something was definitely… not right. To say the least.

She never once tried to deny she had found herself in a happy, comfortable spot, & while she’d maybe never fully admit to “letting herself go,” she put fitness off onto the backburner, & was quite obviously no longer the track star of her youth. For a bit now. As her daily struggles finding things that fit could easily attest. But reaching the point of concern?

Then again, it suddenly dawned on her how a nagging part of her knew she wasn’t going to fit in this bench in the first place. Not without some struggle. That’s why she hesitated. A bench that probably would’ve been a non-issue maybe just a month ago. And even now, in her thoughts, she knew she was delaying exerting herself trying to get up again. Still, she scanned the horizon again, making sure no one was watching, before cradling her protruding belly with both hands. There was just so much of it! And it wasn’t just the horizontal stripes drawing the eye wider. In fact, it was only just at this moment how when trying to hold it, she realized  she had to struggle to get her hands to barely meet around the other side, And that wasn’t even at its widest crest. At the same time, it wasn’t like she didn’t see it, or feel it everyday up until now. How was it usually so easy for her to gloss over how much of it there was? Releasing the soft flesh, it didn’t have very far to fall before spilling onto her expansive thighs. Her tights strained to contain them, stretching to their limits & in doing so, becoming a couple shades lighter, meeting a quarter of the way towards her pasty skintone. Just to the side of them, she looked down to note just how much bench her ass was taking up horizontally, but reared her round face away, disgusted upon realizing it was close to half.

Crestfallen, & feeling absolutely huge, she tried to remind herself that she didn’t come all this way to wallow. This was supposed to be her mental health day, dammit! If her weight was bothering her, maybe now was the perfect time to step up & start trying to burn some calories, even if it was just a nice, little walk! She reared back into herself, feeling her cheeks smoosh & create more chins & more bulges form everywhere as things displaced for a second.

“Hy-urk!” She grunted, while with as much force as she could muster, she threw her pudgy hands straight out in front of her, as if she were Supergirl, soaring through the skies. As her body lunged, she tried to keep the motion lateral, & prevent her butt from catching the lip of the table once more. And with two meager, crouched-over steps that weren’t too easy on her knees, she finally managed to not only get the clearance, but reach for the next bench as a means to help brace herself & finally arc upright again. “Woooo.” She softly cooed, swiping away a bead of sweat from her forehead, relieved. But then, in her sudden determination to go for a nice walk, she remembered the nagging bag of tacos & quesadillas that she spent nearly $40 on. Weirdly, after being so amped to eat them upon arrival, she looked at the greasy bag now with some disdain. Ech, but it’d be so wasteful if she didn’t. But on the other hand, her appetite had pretty much vanished. Surprisingly, she was no longer hungry at all, even though it was getting perilously close to lunchtime.

“One taco.” She told herself, tearing open the packed bag. Almost as if under protest, part of her worried that if she ditched the whole bag & went on her walk, she’d work her appetite back up & be shit outta luck. As she wrestled with the wax paper on her one taco, she thought better than to sit, instead resting her backside against the side edge of the table. It was still just enough weight to elicit some moaning creaks, but comfy enough for her abbreviated meal. She tried to admire the way the sun glistened off the ripples. Deep breath, & destress.

Upon taking the first bite, she remembered how, over the course of her entire lifetime, she’d never even really been the biggest proponent of Taco Cantina. Like ever. Even when her friends could first drive & insisted on going to the one back home, back in high school. Wait, so why the hell did she get so worked up & excited upon seeing one along the way? Why did she blow her money on them? On top of that, at this point, it was getting lukewarm, & all the more unappetizing with each bite. Instead of her usual gusto when it came to gorging, Holly was instead forcing herself to soldier through each sad, hard shell chomp.

“Ech,” She scowled after the last bite, pinching away the excess from her lips with her napkin. “Gross.” She crinkled the trash & threw it in the bag with the rest. After that experience, she was more at peace with the idea of chucking the whole bag, eyeing that trashcan back by her car.

In her mind, the plan was simple. Chuck the bag, turn back around, then spend the rest of the afternoon slowly walking the path that seemed to circle the lake. Take her time, soak it all in. Do things at her leisure, because hey, for the first time in a long while? At least she was being active. As much as it pained her to quote Rachel: “Baby steps.” But the closer she got to the trashcan, & towards her SUV, she started to think about the quesadillas still in the bag. Maybe they wouldn’t be nearly as bad as the tacos were. She’d never had a Taco Cantina quesadilla before. And heck, she’d only gotten the two...

No! She made up her mind. Chuck the bag! Go on a walk! It was super simple. No way to screw that up. Besides, that taco was beyond disgusting. Substitute beef? Dry papery lettuce? Hell, that hard shell seemed kinda stale.

Oh, but it had been almost $40 though. And even if Holly wasn’t hurting, there were starving people in the world. It’d be shitty to get that just to bury it all into the back of a park bin. And how could she really know for sure that the quesadillas were half as trash as the tacos? Besides the one was chicken anyway, not beef. Maybe that one was pretty good.

She reached the trash can & froze. Standing just a few yards from her car, she looked at it & then the trash can. Then her car again. Her stomach let out an audible, rumbling growl as a wave of all too familiar feeling came rushing back.

“That felt like an awfully short visit.” Penny almost chidingly acknowledged as Holly turned on the ignition.

“I-I’m going back!” She insisted with a fatigued huff & some added defiance. “It’s just-” She paused, tearing open the grease-stained bag, pulling out item after item until finding that chicken quesadilla. “It’s getting a little hot out. Figured I’d just try to enjoy lunch in here with the AC instead.” She paused to slurp some more cola from her straw, & looked at the stylized Penny Icon on her dashboard display. With a mocking voice, Holly asked “That alright with you?”

“Whatever makes you the happiest, Miss Holly.” Penny purred triumphantly while gradually ratcheting up certain subsonic frequencies.