Routine Extraction (Patreon)

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This was supposed to be a bit of a quick vignette, dealing with the aftermath of sudden expansion scenario. A sort of a trope from a couple of stories where some mysterious figure who is an apparent expert shows up & starts yelling out orders. But I got a bit into some of the character bits, both the meaner & more tender parts. And ultimately, it ended up going a bit longer than I had anticipated, despite not being your typical sort of inflation story, given that it's already happened, & the reasons for it are kept intentionally sort of vague. I might explore these characters further in the future, but I also might not. Either way, I hope you like it.

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Their towncar pulled up at around 11:32 am. Having gotten the call around quarter after 9 & wheels up on the bird roughly twenty after that, Sarah thought this was a pretty good response time, but it could've been a lot faster. The local first responders of the usually sleepy, but well-to-do college town were already out in force, having cordoned off the whole block it looked like. From the street, they could see a young uniformed rookie officer, barely out of the academy, had just finished setting out the last steel parade barricade, keeping a swarm of lookie-loos back across the adjacent street. Traffic ahead was being diverted down a side street, but the Cafe was just up a little beyond that. 

"Guess we'll have to hoof it the rest of the way," Agent McAdams said from the driver's seat, pulling to the curb behind a cruiser. He was with the local branch office & must've been briefed to keep his head down & not get too much in Sarah's way. She definitely appreciated that.

She had to get her game face on. Dealing with local law enforcement was always the absolute worst part of her job. They were just always so... taxing. As she stepped out of the car, she fixed her smoothed out her blouse. She wasn't very tall, & spending so much time locked away in the lab had softened her old collegiate track & field frame to make her a bit stouter now than imposing, but she tried to convey her true authority in her posture & body language. She put on her aviators, brushed a few errant strands of strawberry blonde hair back past her temple & started marching toward the police line with McAdam following suit. 

They approached an older, doughier police officer who seemed to be the one in charge. As he watched them approach he shook his head a little in disdain, seeming to read their intent.

"Can I help you?" He asked with his brows furrowing into an aggressive sneer. 

"This is Agent McAdams. I'm Agent Prescott, FBI." she flashed a badge. McAdams certainly was, but technically, she wasn't. That was a lie, & thereby a federal offense. But in reality, she was quite a bit further up the totem pole, & often worked in conjunction with them, using their resources, thus the honorary badge. And simply saying she was with the bureau always seem to save a lot time with law enforcement rather than explaining the nuance & intricacies of the alphabet soup the higher up it all went. And time was of the essence here.

"The feds...?" The cop squinted suspiciously. He was too pasty to properly pull off the tough guy routine he was going for. "But how would you've even...?" Before he could continue, Sarah cut him off with some sarcasm.

"Oh. You don't need our help? What's going on in there, that's something you see everyday, is it?" He didn't seem to know how to respond to that, & his reticence only frustrated Sarah more. "Just... Tell me, what's the situation?" She asked a bit hurriedly, hoping it would get him to pick up the pace. McAdams was a big, lean man & he put his hands on his hips in a menacing way that seemed ready to run interference if need be. Sarah liked his style, thinking she should ask for him by name if she was ever called to these parts again.

"It's the damnedest thing," another officer readily volunteered as he approached. He seemed friendlier, albeit a little bit more befuddled by what was going on. "There's a girl in there having the craziest allergic reaction I've ever seen in my life." 

"Allergic reaction?" Sarah fought off a smirk. She'd heard some crazy descriptions before, but that was a new one. He stammered for a second, trying to find the words.

"She... she's just so..." It was as if he was trying to tread lightly, even though the victim was inside & well out of earshot.

"Puffy?" Sarah offered up, growing a bit more impatient.

"That's one word for it, I guess." The chattier cop said, scratching his head.

"We got the whole situation well in hand. Everyone else got out safely, & the bomb squad just started going in now." The doughier one jumped back in.

"The... bomb squad?!" Sarah yelled incredulously. She looked across the way to the door of the cafe. Two men in bulky green padding were just getting their disposal robot operational.

"Well she looked ready to..." The friendlier one started.

"To what...? Explode?!" Sarah asked flatly.

"And so what did you expect the bomb squad to do... 'defuse' her...allergic reaction?" McAdams jumped in. He wasn't the expert here, & didn't know more than the brief rundown of the broader, unclassified details Sarah could give in the car. But even he saw the sheer stupidity on display.

"Well they've trained for...what she could... potentially..." Sarah clenched her eyes closed & grit her teeth before letting out a loud, frustrated sigh. 

"I'm going in there." 

"Ma'am, it isn't..." The doughy one tried.

"Oh fuck off." Sarah continued, not turning or breaking pace. Still facing forward she hollered back. "McAdam, make those calls I told you to make in the car & text me an ETA when you can get one."

"Will do." He said, digging out his phone.

As she crossed the intersection towards the corner cafe, she could make out a vague, but large, spherical silhouette in through the windows. She was pretty big alright, but in Sarah's experience, she had seen a whole lot worse. She got here just in time. And dealing with the fucking bomb squad aside, everything seemed like this should be a pretty straightforward extraction.

"Ma'am!" one of the padded green dunces started to wave his arms away & come to her as she approached.

"Pull your fuckin' robot out of there. Now!" She said bluntly, still walking with purpose.

"We were just about to make conta..." The other said not looking up from the screen inside their hard case. They had set up just outside the door as a little forward operating base.

"What's happening to that poor young lady is only exacerbated by stress," Sarah said in a low grade snarl, craning her neck to both of them as she reached the front of the Cafe. "Do you honestly believe jabbing your little RC car into the side of her a couple of times isn't just going to further agitate her?" The two bomb squad officers looked at each other, partially realizing their folly, but mostly dejected. Sarah realized this was probably the first time these guys may have ever even gotten a call & had an excuse use to use their robot, or their padding, or any of their explosive expertise in this sleepy little burg. But their overeagerness still didn't make any of it the slightest bit applicable. And now she was running the show. "Pull it back, now! And get the fuck out of my way already. I'm the only one who knows what the fuck it is I'm doing here." She growled, reaching for the door handle. "If you want do something useful, get your lil drone to grab me a fucking latte! Venti!"

Sarah took a deep breath. Most of the major obstacles were out of her way. But now, dealing with the victim at a crucial point like this, she had to ditch the mean girl routine & go back to being her usual self. Calm, genuine, & empathetic. She pushed the door open, the bell wrapped around the handle letting out a little jingle. She played doorperson for the robot, as it reverse scurried out through the little vestibule area. It had a straw wrapper stuck to one of its treads, flapping on each revolution. She shook her head in disdain as it passed.

"Back in Ten." She hollered back in McAdams' general direction. He nodded, already on the phone.

For all the police & robots & commotion outside, the coffee shop was still & almost silent. There were signs of a recent commotion, some coffees spilled, some chairs knocked over. But you could see the dust looming in the rays of light pouring in through the windows. Sarah looked around the cafe. Despite all this craziness, it seemed like it would be a quaint little shop. Nice, & dark enough to chill, but cozy. She could see the appeal. But then there was just the oddly out of place flesh covered ball back in a corner reading nook by one of the comfy looking couches. At first glance, it was round, with nothing particularly human about it other than its fleshy hue. But studying it, Sarah could see a stubby little hand wiggling in of a puffy little divot. A left hand. That was a handy detail in that it helped Sarah understand how the poor thing was oriented. Somehow, despite everything, this person had managed to stay mostly upright, teetering just slightly towards their belly, & it seemed like she was diagonally facing the side wall & couch. She must've originally been a bit on the taller side because Sarah couldn't really make out much of a head from where she stood, just a few locks of dyed pinkish hair draping along the curves of what used to be shoulder.  

"Ohhhhhhhh." the mass cooed, sensing someone approaching. Sarah responded, her tone drastically different now. Softer. Way more pleasant than outside.

"Hello." Experience had taught her it was better to say it more directly & less like a question. Not only did it help to build a faster rapport, but someone who was in a similar situation once told her, asking felt vaguely, albeit inadvertently dehumanizing. Because asking could make some victims feel as though she was unsure if she who she was talking to was still even a human being & something almost unable to comprehend a hello. It might've been a small detail, & should could've been way overthinking it, but at junctures like this, Sarah thought every detail was important. "I heard you just now let out something of a noise. If you can talk, would you mind terribly telling me your name?" There were cracks where Sarah's natural southern drawl leaked through, it was a tendency she had when letting her empathy show.

"G-get... awa..." The round woman huffed, the sausage-like fingers of that left hand looking as though they were trying to flap, or flail, or do something. Sarah understood the girl's reluctance. Maybe an icebreaker was in order.

"Getawa? That's your name? That's a new to me." Sarah tried to joke.

"Nuh-no.... Away! From... me!" the girl murmured & stuttered in such a way that managed to huff the words out at different volumes, "Away" being the strongest.

"Well, you're still able to talk though & that's good! That's real good. My name's Sarah. I'm a scientist. I'm here to help you." She circled the girl, wooden floorboards creaking slightly under foot. She stepped over scraps of stretched & torn fabric. She guessed it might've been some sort of floral sundress. And some kind of sweater maybe? The bits of silkier, shinier cloth were undoubtedly undergarment. All had been clearly been burst out of. "No need to be scared. As weird as this is, I'm... something of an expert." As Sarah orbited the girl, she noticed a some very minor bruising on her hip, from perhaps bumping into a table when the growth first started. It also looked like she had some sort of tattoo on her upper right shoulder but between Sarah's vantage point & a great deal of stretching & distorting, it wasn't immediately appparent as to what it was. Otherwise, the girl was uninjured, & largely unblemished. 

"Err....Erin." she slowly volunteered.

"I've always liked that name a lot. Had an older cousin with it." She stepped over the puddle of someone's spilled coffee, maybe the victim's, back towards the front side of her. "Now Erin, I don't want to startle you, but I'm going to hop up onto this couch here so us girls can talk face to face. Is that ok?"

"Ye-ye......ohhhhhhhh." 

"It's okay, sweetheart." Sarah took the poor girl's meaning & already started to step up. It was a bit tricky with the heel of her boot. The one thing Sarah did always forget was to wear flats. The cushion was spongy & the short blonde had to balance herself along the firmer seat back before getting a more stable step onto the arm of the couch. This put her at about two feet taller than the victim, but at least now her face was unobstructed. Even with her swollen cheeks shrinking her features & eyes red from bawling, it was clear that the pink haired girl was gorgeous. Like classically beautiful. Being unprepared for that was almost more offputting to Sarah than the whole bizarre situation itself. "There... she is..." Sarah muttered, realizing she was staring.

"Hi..." she breathed, her eyes still glistening with tears.

"You know, despite everything, you still have some very nice bangs," Sarah smiled warmly, finding words again. "I wish I could pull those off. Looks amazing with the pink." Erin looked as though she was trying to nod thanks, but really, there was only a slight bob that caused her cheeks to jiggle.

"What... what's wrong... with... me?" she struggled, partially trying to breathe, partially trying to not bust out crying more. 

"It's... complicated." Sarah started. Erin's brow twitched, in confusion. She clearly expected more than that. And it looked like she was trying to form a follow up. But Sarah continued before she could. "Look. I know you definitely have a ton of questions, & I'll be happy to answer whatever I can in time. But right now, I want to help you here. First things first, may I?" Sarah gesticulated as though she wanted to give Erin a touch. Erin looked apprehensive but didn't explicitly say no. Very delicately, Sarah leaned in. It was an awkward reach, but she was careful to maintain her balance & be as gentle as humanly possible. Erin's flesh was firm, warm, & a bit pillowy. She seemed relieved Sarah wasn't full on jabbing a finger into the side of her. "And to think those chuckleheads outside were just about to start prodding you with a robot claw." Sarah said snidely, being honest, but forgetting her bedside manner. Erin's eyes had widened a little & one of the residual tears shook free. Sarah cleared her throat & straightened back out to a standing position. "You seem pretty stable at the moment. Do you feel like you've stopped... growing?"

"Ye-y..." Erin struggled.

"How about this?" Sarah offered. "Raise your eyebrows," she demonstrated. "...like you're surprised for 'yes.' Bring them down," she made a mean mug. "Make a mean face for 'no.' That easier?" 

"Ye..." Erin started before realizing & trying to make her best wide-eyed surprise look instead.

"Good, good, good!" Sarah grinned. "Not trying to be impatient with you, just trying to let you save your energy. So the growing? It's stopped?" Erin's brow went up again. "Good. Longer than ten? Twenty minutes?" Erin's brow shot up again. "Okay. That's a good sign. But on a scale of one to ten? How would you rate the pressure?" Sarah asked. "Less than a 7?" Erin seemed to think about it for a second. Her brow furrowed into a scowl. "More?" Sarah continued. "What's it feel like? An 8?" Another scowl. "A 9?!" Erin thought again for a second before arching her brow. "Okay. That just means you'll probably experience an occasional 'growth spurt' here or there, but for the most part, it seems like you've leveled out for the most part & that's good news. I mean you didn't want to be stuck inside this coffee shop forever, did you?" Sarah's phone buzzed. McAdam's text came in saying 6 minutes. Sarah's own brows shot up in a happy expression. Things were running ahead of schedule. Unfortunately, the break in conversation lead to Erin starting to get distracted again.

"Why... me... tho....?" She stammered, looking as though she was trying to shift slightly. Every part of her quivered, her plump fingers flexing & releasing, probably because it was the only bit of real movement she was capable of.

"I know this all must seem insane as fuck to you, what happened." Sarah leveled with her, along with a sigh. "But as insane as fuck as it may be for you, as a astrobiologist, I've seen this sort of thing at least four dozen times. Hell, three of those cases were just in the last two weeks. As horrendous as it is, know you're not the first to have gone through this. And while it'll take some time, I know how to treat this sort of thing. Way better than any of the dumdums out there with their robots. Get you back to being a functioning co-ed again. I just need you to trust me, okay?" 

"I... trust you..." Erin quivered, still fighting back tears.

"I appreciate that, Erin." Sarah said with a pursed, sympathetic smile. "First, we're going to have to safely get you out of here. Where I work? The lab is sort of like a clinic. For people going through the exact same thing as you are."

"Muh... Move?!" Erin looked concerned. Sarah couldn't quite tell where that concern actually lie. The fact that the notion of moving would be a struggle for her, the prying eyes of the crowd outside, her maybe not understanding they were going to make a hole large enough for her, hell, maybe even just the very idea of being jostled in her unwieldy, but fragile condition. She understood all of that. But it wasn't like they could treat that condition here in this cafe over the next month or two.

"Look," she leveled, very delicately laying a hand on Erin's shoulder... region assuringly. "I've done this sort of a thing a bunch. A whole bunch. The last thing you need to do right now is worry, Okay?"

"Oh..." Erin started to try to respond, but after a sigh, she realized it was just easier to raise her eyebrows again. Though she still did it with a slightly apprehensive expression.

"Leave everything to me. We'll get you out of here, carefully. And discreetly as possible, given... everything. Now here's what's going to happen." Sarah started with her eyes darting towards the time on her phone. "In about... four minutes, you're going to start hearing a bunch of loud noises off to your right side. It's a team of engineers that are going to do a little impromptu renovation to the front door." She tended to keep their job description vague for the victim, as she felt it was kind of rude to flat out say "Hey we need to take a whole wall out to get your massive ass out of here." She remembered & started digging in her pocket. "If it will help, I can hook you up with some earplugs, but what I'm really going to need you to do is just keep as cool as a cucumber during that ruckus & let the folks do their thing, which should hopefully last no more than ten minutes. By that point, there will be a truck pulling up on... what is this side street?"

"Fre-Frem-muh-mont." Erin huffed with her eyes to the side since she couldn't crane her neck.

"Thank you!" Sarah said thoughtfully. "A truck will be pulling up here along Fremont."

"I... I duh-don't th-think.. I can...." The girl's swollen frame bobbed & wobbled again slightly with a bit of a sway. That looked to be all the movement the poor girl could muster on her own.

"Oh, dear! I... I know." Sarah fought back a bit of a snicker. This happened some times, where victim felt the need to level with her & explain they could no longer move on their own volition, when she was looking right at them & that fact was immediately apparent. "If you trust me, you don't have to worry about getting there yourself, we'll figure something out." Sarah always tried to skirt around the word "roll" until she needed to. Sometimes the victims understood. Other times, they'd get a little peeved. But it was usually the easiest & typically the most unavoidable option, & frankly, it just got the job done. "Now, that truck? It'll have a bit of a small... lift mechanism," There had been a few occasions where Sarah nimbly avoided "roll," only for the victim to then get hung up on the word "crane." "So... once we get you outside, we can get you up on the back of that truck no problem."

"Nuh... no walls?" She huffed. "I-I... don't want... people...seeing mmm-me." Her eyes lowering self-consciously into her expansive frame.

"Aw sorry, sweetheart. The one we could get on such quick notice is more of a flatbed unfortunately," Dodging again. The fact of the matter was, with her resources, she could get a trailer if she wanted no problem. The issue was finding one wide enough to fit Erin comfortably. But even then, the bigger issue was the fact that Erin was still feeling pressure. One growth spurt in a confined truck could be disastrous. That's why flatbeds were always the more viable option. "But you don't have to worry one bit, because we'll have you covered up. To respect your privacy as best we can. Given the circumstances." This would probably be in the form of blue tarps they'd try to strap around her. Sarah was still trying to figure out a better solution to this problem, but she totally understood the girls' hesitation to have their naked, now massively swollen bodies on display like some sort of bizarre parade float.

"Will... you... ride wheh...with?"

"On the back, with you?" She got the request fairly often. And there was something low key flattering about it. "I'll see what I can do, but they usually don't like me doing that. For safety concerns. But! Worst case scenario, I'll be in the car right behind you in the convoy, keeping an eye on you. And I can however..." she started digging in her other pocket. "... offer you this bluetooth headset. That way we can keep in touch the whole ride. You can update me on how you're feeling, I can tell you how close we're getting." There was always a lot of wind during these, & Sarah tried to do a fair bit of the talking. But it helped reassure the victim during a difficult ride. And Erin didn't seem much different. Her eyes seemed to express that would work for her, as she seemed to appreciate the thoughtfulness. "But I won't lie about this part," Sarah continued a bit more sternly. "Last thing you deserve right now is any sugar coating. Once we get you secured to the truck, it's bound to be a terribly uncomfortable ride. It's going to be a little bumpy, probably a bit chilly. And it's probably going to feel like it's going on for-ever." She emphasized. "It'll probably be the worst part of this whole moving ordeal. So if you need to, you can bitch & moan at me, call me all the sorts of cusses you want over this earpiece if it helps. But here..." she said holding up her phone so Erin could see the map on it. "It's a 38 minute ride between here & the airport. And that's even calculating for traffic, which won't be an issue, because we're getting a police escort."

"Es...cort...?"

"To get you there as quickly & as safely as possible." Sarah grinned. "You're basically like a VIP."

"Y-yay... me..." Erin seemed to strain sarcastically. Sarah chortled a bit.

"From there, we will get you on a plane."

"Cah... cah... coach...?"

"Heh-HAHA!" snorted Sarah, involuntary getting much louder. "Sorry. Damn, that was... The girl's got jokes!" She said to the empty room. Erin's lips puckered into a swollen semblance of a smile. "No. If you must know. NOT coach. Not even business or first class. It's your own private jet." By which she meant C-5 Galaxy military cargo plane. The same one Sarah had flown in on just an hour or so ago. "And on there, I WILL be able to ride with you. Right next to you if you'd like. But in all honestly from here, it'll probably be a very short flight. The plane will probably start having to descend the instant we hit cruising altitude, which isn't even actually going to be that high." As the changes in air pressure weren't too great for someone in Erin's condition. "And once we land? My lab is RIGHT there. No more trucks, or motorcades, or anything after that. We cart you inside, we make you... well... we get you as comfortable as we possibly can, & from there, I'll get right to work on figuring out what exactly happened, how this happened to you, & start trying to get you back down to a much more manageable size." A tear trickled down Erin's enormous cheek, but it seemed a little happier than her others comparatively. 

"Th-than-thank...."

"Don't thank me just yet," She interrupted with a frank but confident smile. "Let's get you there first. Carefully. Okay, Erin?" Suddenly Erin's expression changed. She seemed to get a little worried. At first, Sarah worried it might be a growth spurt coming on. "Erin?"

"Wha... wha..." the girl started to murmur.

"What?" Sarah, asked, also with concern.

"What about... cuh.... cuh-lass...? the distressed girl finally managed.

"You're... worried... about missing class?" Sarah pieced together. Erin's brow bounced upward into a "yes." 

"Fi...fi... finals..." She managed. In turn, Sarah's eyes bounced side to side incredulously. Usually, the victims worried about their SO's, or family, or friends. But school? That was a first. "I'm sure, given the circumstances, we can scrounge you up a doctor's note or something." Erin paused, a bit relieved. But after a second...

"HAH!" the round girl bobbled loudly. Almost louder than she seemed capable of, as if she almost forgot her situation entirely. It was as if she herself had suddenly just realized how silly that concern was in the first place. The outburst caused her whole body to bounce & shimmy for a second, but it slowly came to a rest. Just then, there was some activity by the front door. The engineers must've arrived. Or maybe the bomb squad was getting antsy. Either way, Sarah had to go deal with it. "Okay, now I have to go start coordinating some things here," She said. "But before I get going here, would you care for those earplugs first?"

"Pluh-ease..." Erin smiled. Reaching from the couch wasn't going to work, so Sarah popped down & fetched a stool from the counter. She pulled it as close to Erin's round frame as she could without disturbing her & used it like a step ladder. Popping back up into Erin's line of sight much closer this time, the girl's plump lips puckered closer to that smile again. Even with the stool much closer, it was still taking all of Sarah's short reach to manage. 

"Easy does it," Sarah reminded herself softly, applying the left earplug in around the bulge Erin's shoulders were creating around her head. "Now remember, they're going to make a bit of a ruckus over there, but all you need to do is take deep, relaxing breaths, & just stay calm for me. Let me do all the worrying for right now, Okay?" Erin's eyebrows darted straight up. Sarah smiled, as she started to apply the right one. She then made sure they were both in firmly, but not too deep. She then looked Erin straight on. "Don't you worry," She said, louder, though mostly exaggerating her lip movements so they were easier to read. Either way, Erin seemed to understand. Sarah pushed some strands of the girl's pink hair back past her ears. "I'm going to make sure you're well taken care of, okay?" Erin's eyebrows shot upward again, this time, her eyes shutting with them. Her body heaved with what seemed like one of those deep breaths Sarah had instructed her to take. Sarah smiled, delicately patting the round girl's shoulder before hopping off the stool & getting down to work.

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To (Possibly) Be Continued