What are some writing lessons you had to learn the hard way?? (Patreon)

Hey, hey everyone!

Thank you all so much for sending love and good vibes on the previous post! When we're in the middle of our own personal struggles, it's such a relief to know that others have gone through the same thing, are currently going through something similar, or have tips, tricks, and love to give. I've always found the writing community to be so incredible about this, and y'all just keep affirming that for me. So I can't thank you enough. <3

Since giving myself grace and countering toxic productivity are currently ~lessons in progress~ in my life, it got me thinking about other lessons (especially around writing) that I've had to learn the hard way:

1) Reading aloud is a skill in itself. (So you shouldn't always judge your own writing on how OTHERS read it out loud.)

This one sounds kind of weird at first, especially since a lot of us have probably experienced reading an audiobook, not gelling with the narrator, and having to set it down until we can pick up a physical copy or the eBook version. (And then affirming or changing our opinion on how we like the story!)

But I learned this lesson when I was in a critique group back in college. We used to print out about 2 pages and bring them to small breakout groups, where we'd then have others in our group read our work for the first time. (The problem: we were also all seeing the work for the first time. We never emailed them ahead for people to practice.)

Now some people are really great at reading out loud. They're good at scanning ahead, catching the tone, and delivering in a way that flows.

And others...are not.

(I know I'm either an incredible or terrible reader, no in between bahaha. I can scan ahead and deliver, but the second I stumble over a word or phrase, I'm guaranteed to stumble over ten more in a row, through no fault of the author or the piece.)

The first several breakout sessions were really demoralizing, hearing my words back in a way that didn't sound right, that sounded clunky, that missed the emphasis.

Until one session, when I had an amazing reader (we'll call her Madeline). Madeline freaking sold my story. I had people asking to read my book when I was done because of her, only I thought it was because of what I'd done to improve my new piece.

So when I went back the next week, ready to bask in similar praise (lolol), I was shocked when my next piece once again sounded...bad. It didn't look bad on the page, but it sounded bad. And though everyone in the small groups had their own physical copy of the piece, there's something powerful in how we hear our words.

And since it's so hard to be objective about our own work, it took me a while to realize that I wasn't bad, the pieces I was bringing weren't bad (okay, some definitely were), but that some people just have a knack for making them sound really, really good.

(Madeline the Best Reader had done a bunch of theatre, I have to imagine that's connected bahaha.)

ANYWAYS. I'd say it took over a semester or two to truly realize the power the narrator has. (And also how to look at a piece objectively, even when someone like Madeline is reading it.)

So while I still always read my own work aloud (or have a computer read it back to me!), I've learned to let go of what others sound like when they read it. (And hope that people feel the same when I read their words out loud on stream!! I love when people share snippets and always feel bad when I butcher them.)

2) If you do no other step in your planning or outlining phase, CONSTRUCT A (BRIEF) TIMELINE.

Allow me to take you all back to Project Purple, a contemporary novel I drafted where I accidentally wrote in Thanksgiving as an important marker twice. It took TWO subsequent drafts (and many, many months) to rearrange the entire story for the plot to flow and make sense.

Had I made a timeline for Murder Mystery Tennessee, I would have realized before writing 65,000 words that the reader wouldn't be able to guess whodunnit. (If/When I return to this story, that will be the first thing I do: make a timeline bahaha.)

This lesson is especially tricky because I don't NEED to do this for every genre. Mystery novels? Yes. Contemporary? Also yes. But anything else?? I'm free to let my pantsing, discovery writer spirit fly any direction it wants.

Much like brainstorming, I construct my timelines best by hand. I enjoy scratching through elements, drawing arrows up and around, and seeing every step of my progress. Something about that brain-to-pen connection is stronger for me than brain-to-keyboard.

To help, I've actually bought undated calendars at the dollar store. Usually I stick with month-long calendars, but sometimes I'll buy the bigger, 90-day versions. (And I'll also use my own erasable wall calendar, if I need to math something out quickly but don't need to keep it.)

Inevitably these timelines will still change a little from draft to draft, but it's helped prevent any big issues! (Though I'll probably never write another story with Thanksgiving in it again bahaha.)

It's always interesting to me which lessons can be learned from other writers, which can be learned through reading, and which have to be learned the hard way. And I think sometimes those lessons are different for everyone. So please let me know which writing lessons you've had to learn the hard way!! (And hopefully through osmosis, I will also learn them somehow bahaha.)

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Bringing it back to giving myself grace and unlearning toxic productivity habits, I picked up a physical copy of TALKING AS FAST AS I CAN for this month's writing experiment during one of my "hour away from the screen" breaks! 

Here's part of Lauren Graham's Kitchen Timer Method:

My favorite part of this method, its purpose, is actually stated in the first sentence: "The principle of Kitchen Timer is that every writer deserves a definite and doable way of being and feeing successful every day." (Thank you to Don for introducing it to Lauren, and I'm very glad I just happened to pick her book up bahaha.)

It's been about a week of on/off using this method, but tomorrow I start in full! If you'd like to hangout with me, I'll be in the Discord doing random one-hour sprints from Tuesday to Saturday of this week. :) And I'll add a channel with all the "rules" if you'd like to ~fully participate~ together!

And since a big aspect of this is committing the day before, here goes: Tomorrow I will draft for 2 uninterrupted one-hour chunks, 1 in Project Death, and 1 spent working on my current romance project. That's the only appointment I'm setting with myself, anything and everything else is just the whipped cream and cherry on top. :)

As it stands, the time away from the screen (computer and phone) has really helped. I've also turned every screen into Night Mode and pushed the "warmness" as far as possible. I've been doing yoga each day, started tracking my headaches, blood pressure, and symptoms again, and have shifted to wearing my glasses a bit more. My eye doctor is guessing that the  are another form/warning of migraine (which sucks) but at least my eyes look healthy!!

Since dealing with insurance is 🎶 the wooooooorst 🎶, my other appointments are still a ways away. But taking the time to reset my calendar and my expectations is (slowly) helping to decrease my anxiety around the migraines and life changes.

Just wanted to give y'all an update!! And hope to see some of y'all over on the Discord later this week. :) I'm hoping to do a couple (shorter) streams at the tail end of September, and using y'all as my way to ease back into them.

Thanks y'all and happy writing! 💜