The Harem on the Hill (Part LXXIII) (Patreon)

Despite a belly bloated to bowling-ball proportions, Bernadette scurries into the antechamber.  If the frustrated grunts that follow are any indication, she's trying to negotiate the myriad of locks on the front door.  You hadn't bothered engaging them all after returning from town, but you're not worried--there's more than enough to keep her occupied as you remove your phone from your pocket and saunter after her.

Only she's not at the door.  She's crouched at the end of the hall with her bare back to you and her chubby arm buried up to its bicep inside a large Chinese urn tucked in a nook by the coat closet.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Your question is answered with a frantic wail and a crack of gunfire as Bernadette pulls a flashy silver pistol from the vessel, spins, and fires.  Fortunately, the chunky blonde's shot is as wild as her scream--her surprised cry and clumsy aim suggest she wasn't expecting you to follow her--but that's small comfort as she prepares a measured follow-up.

The antechamber opens in three directions.  Behind you is the dining room.  Behind your gun-toting harem girl is the formal sitting room.  You quickly duck down option #3, a hallway that extends from the front door into the heart of your home.  After a twenty-foot sprint, you turn right at the t-junction and dash into the living room.  The one with the windowed vista overlooking the woods.

Now that you have a few seconds, walls, and corridors between you and death, you hurriedly swipe to Bernadette's screen on your phone and mash the button that should deliver 25,000 volts through the silver bangle on her wrist.  You await the result--an anguished scream, the thud of a tubby body hitting the floor, etc.--anything to inform you the problem has been taken care of.  Unfortunately, what you hear next tells you that not only is the problem unresolved, it's a much bigger one than you anticipated.

Literally.

"Tina!  Tina!  Hurry up!  He's getting away!"

Bernadette doesn't collapse in pain, nor does she give chase.   Instead, she calls for reinforcements.  Tina.  Four hundred pounds of very heavy infantry.  Thank god you didn't fall for her choking ruse, or Bernadette's first shot might have ended up in the base of your skull rather than the base of your dining room wall.

Now you know why the handgun looked familiar.  It's yours.  An engraved silver Walther PPK that was gifted to you by a German business associate.  It was kept in a footlocker beneath your bed.  Only one girl in your harem had access to it.

Tina doesn't respond to Bernadette's pleas for help.  She may be fat, but she isn't stupid.  As an army brat, she understands how crucial the element of surprise is and how difficult it is to maintain (particularly given her size).  You expect she wants to kill Bernadette as much as you do for blowing her cover.

Maybe you can turn the tables and create a little surprise of your own?  Unlike Tina, Bernadette shouldn't be that familiar with your home's layout.  She may not realize the living room connects to the sitting room that joins with the antechamber.  You might be able to sneak up on her.

Or you could slip upstairs.  The Walther PPK isn't the only gun you have.  There are several more locked away in your bedroom and even a small Ruger concealed behind the false back of a drawer in your office.  Of course, there's a decent chance Tina discovered those as well.  She could well be retrieving one from the cookie jar in the kitchen at this moment.

Both options are risky, but either is better than hiding behind the sofa.  Act fast!  Which do you choose?