The Harem on the Hill (Part LXVII) (Patreon)

"Hello!  Bruford, Anderson, and Richmond."

"Hi, Tony.  It's me."

"We are currently assisting other clients.  If you'd like to leave a message--"

"C'mon, Tony.  I need your help."

The man on the other end of the phone sighs heavily.  "I thought you were retired."

"I am."

Another sigh.  "Why can't you just take up golf like everyone else?"

"I have too many other interests."

"Is that why you're calling?  Was one of your interests uninterested?"

"It's not for me.  I have a friend who's been arrested."

"A friend?  Man or woman?"

"Woman."

"Of course.  Name?"

"Tina Jordan."

"What was she arrested for?"

"Kidnapping."

"Jesus.  Did she do it?"

"I think so."

"How do you know?"

"The abductee is in my basement."

There is a long pause.  "I should hang up and call the police."

"But you won’t."

"No.  Is the victim alive?"

"Of course!"

"Sorry.  Didn’t mean to offend.  It’s just that after Veronica Tate I figured I better ask."

"Let’s not talk about Veronica Tate."

"Gladly!  She's the reason I’m answering the phone and third on the firm’s marquee.  I'm lucky they didn't add an ellipse--Bruford, Anderson, and dot-dot-dot Richmond."

"You were compensated for your trouble."

"Money isn’t everything!  It pisses me off that you came out of that fiasco smelling like a rose while I’m still a pariah."

"Does that mean you won’t help?"

"Jesus, don’t be so hasty.  Let me vent a little, will ya?  You can’t expect to call me out of the blue with something like this without a little brushback."

"Fine.  Continue."

"I’m done.  For now.  Is the abductee still in good shape…relatively speaking?"

"Yes."

"Good.  Anyone I’ve heard of?  Actress?  Popstar?"

"Librarian."

"Ah.  Nice of you to go low profile this time.  Though I bet her profile’s growing if she's spending time with you."

Tony chuckles.  You say nothing.

"All that money and you still can’t afford a sense of humor.  Ok, here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m catching the next flight out.  Can planes reach your neck of the woods?"

"Charter.  I'll arrange it."

"Good.  Don't do anything until I get there.  Do you trust your friend to keep her mouth shut for a day or two?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?  I’d prefer not to alert a bunch of small-town cops that a big-city lawyer was swooping in, but I’d like it even less if you were arrested while I was en route.  If you have doubts, I could place a call.  Let this Tina girl know the cavalry was coming."

"Won’t they monitor it?"

"Absolutely.  That’s why my preference would be to wait.  If you trust her."

What do you do?