The Harem on the Hill (Part XXXV) (Patreon)

"Honey, don't tell me you're brewing these nice officers Folgers!"

The oversized white cotton bathrobe that once swallowed Tina barely keeps her modest as she shuffles over to you.

"Sorry, dear," you say.  "They were in a hurry."

"Nobody's in that big a hurry".   Tina gives you a quick kiss.  "You'll have to excuse him.  He's not very adept at this domestic stuff."

Officer Petty's gaze bounces between Tina and the photo on the counter like a tennis match.  He's clearly having difficulty reconciling the sexy spitfire in the picture and the matronly woman on your arm.  "Tina?  Tina Jordon?"

"In the flesh," Tina responds.

Morgan stares like she's memorizing Tina for a test.  "Please don't take this the wrong way, but we'll need to see some ID."

"Just being thorough," Petty apologizes.  "I'm sure you understand."

"You're just doing your job."  Tina looks to you and cocks her head.  "Would you be a dear and grab it for me?"

"Of course."  You're not keen on leaving Tina alone with the police, but don't see an alternative.  

Once you're out of the officers' sight, you sprint up the stairs two at a time and race to your study.  You open the bottom drawer of your desk to its full extension, revealing a myriad of hanging files from business deals past and present.  Then you lift slightly and pull again, allowing the drawer to slide a few inches further.  Beyond the drawer's false back is a cavity containing wallets, keys, credit cards, and keepsake photos of loved ones you've never seen and hopefully never will.  You fish Tina's license from the pile and hustle back downstairs.

"You should thank your girlfriend for rescuing you," Officer Petty announces upon your return.

"Oh?" you say.  "Why is that?"

Petty holds up a steaming cup of coffee.  "This is delicious!"

"It really is," Morgan adds.  "What did you do to it?" 

"Just a pinch of salt to cut the bitterness and a dash of cinnamon for sweetness," Tina says.  "It's better than cream and sugar and doesn't have the fat and calories.  Though I don't have to worry about that anymore.  Right, dear?"

"Right," you say, hoping your smile isn't as uneasy as you feel.  Tina located the salt and cinnamon far quicker than you could have.  As the officers sip their brew, you can't help wonder whether she added anything else.

Tina takes her license and hands it to Petty who in turn hands it to Morgan.  Morgan's eyes widen as she studies Tina's vitals.

"What can I say?"  Tina says, patting her stomach.  "My man keeps me fat and happy."

Morgan places the license alongside the photo.  "Why did you lie about the last time you saw Tina?"

"I didn't," you say.  "I merely asked when her last day at work was."  You pull Tina close.  "That's when we got serious."

"And I went into early retirement," Tina adds.

Morgan smiles and sets her empty cup on the counter.  "How 'bout you tell us how you really got that scratch on your chin?"

"Honey!"  Tina exclaims, playfully smacking your chest.  "Did you fib about your gardening accident?"

"I think we're done here," Petty says, polishing off his coffee.

Morgan looks panicked.  "Don't you think--"

"That we've wasted enough of these folks' time?  Yes, I do."  Petty doffs his cap at Tina.  "Thank you kindly for the coffee, ma'am."

"You're certainly welcome.  If you ever come back I'll brew up something truly special for you."

"I'd like that."

You open the door for the officers.  Petty nods as he exits, but Morgan keeps her rigid face forward.

After shutting the door behind them, you go to a side window and peek through the curtains.  Petty and Morgan are having an animated discussion outside their squad car.   After a few seconds, Petty throws his hands up and gets in the vehicle, ending the conversation with a slam of his door.  Morgan lingers for a moment then huffs to the passenger side.

"We haven't seen the last of her,"  Tina says over your shoulder as you watch the cruiser descend the hill.

How do you respond?