[TB] TWILIGHT -- Chapter 11 (Patreon)

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Shadepool stumbled her way home in darkness, the light of the moon shining thin through wispy clouds. Her jaw ached from clenching around the fur tuft. Though her legs screamed for her to stop, she couldn't bring herself to slow down - even though she was long away from the tunnel, she could still feel the presence of those horrifying, monstrous shadow-cats as if they were brushing their whiskers against her pelt, or hissing in her ear.

Oh StarClan, what did they mean? she thought frantically. How did they know my name? What are they? What have I done?!

She pelted through the trees, tail bushed and mind cramped with anxiety. The thorns inside clenched tight, and her heart felt like it might burst - perhaps she did fear small places after all, if closing off her mind from Nightfrost felt like claws around her chest.

Dawn was not far off, and Shadepool knew deep down that she was in trouble. She had meant to be gone only a short time - she had underestimated the length of her trip. When she finally reached the thorn barrier of ThunderClan camp, she could only hope that what she had brought home would make everything worth it.

She tried to be casual as she stepped into camp, but as soon as she saw who awaited her in the clearing, she knew nothing she could say would salvage this.

Nightfrost, Brackenfur, and, worst of all, Tinystar, were sitting in the moonlit clearing, very obviously waiting for her return. When she stepped into the moonlight with them, Nightfrost got to his paws and purred.

“There you are!” he breathed. His pale eyes shimmered with delight and relief. “Thank StarClan!”

Shadepool's heart thudded in her chest. Nightfrost being happy to see her was fine, really, but her concern lay in what Brackenfur and, more importantly, Tinystar, were thinking.

Guilt immediately swamped Shadepool when she looked at her father. She had gone against his wishes, and she couldn't imagine how worried he'd been or how hurt he was now. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes were like ice.

Her father's voice was just as cold: “Was it worth it?” he asked.

Shadepool nearly swallowed the tuft of fur. Stiff-legged, she laid her burden down at her father's paws, hoping it was enough of a peace offering. She sat down a tail-length away, her tail wrapped tightly around her paws as she waited for his verdict.

Tinystar bent his head and gave the fur a sniff. Brackenfur looked at it curiously, drawing it close with a paw and turning it this way or that in the moonlight.

“There's no Clan-scent,” he surmised. “But it is cat fur.”

“And it's not Barkface's or Onewhisker's,” Nightfrost remarked hopefully, leaning in to look. “It's gray, not brown.”

“In the past, we have identified killers by the fur caught between their victim's claws,” Brackenfur mused with a sigh. The old medicine cat glanced at Tinystar. “It is possible this came from Barkface's claws.”

Shadepool fidgeted. Though she knew that Brackenfur was angry with her, she was glad he was at least humoring the idea. She swallowed and added, “T-There might've been more there, but it was so dark. The tunnel seemed to go on, too - maybe even further into WindClan territory...”

Tinystar exhaled thinly through his teeth. His ice-blue gaze flickered from the fur to Brackenfur and then to Shadepool. He put a paw on the tuft and pulled it back to his belly, pinning it with his claws.

“It is something,” Tinystar said, finally, “but it is just as ephemeral as what Cloudtail found.”

Shadepool blinked, shocked. “How can that be?” she demanded.

Tinystar's gaze was sharp. “Do you know how many gray cats there are in the Clans? Even narrowing it down to only ThunderClan and WindClan doesn't make things any easier. This could mean anything, be anyone, without any identifying scent.”

“But-” StarClan sent me back for a reason! They had to have!

“But nothing, Shadepool,” Tinystar growled. His eyes flashed like claws. “You deliberately disobeyed my wishes. Medicine cat or not, I am still your leader. My word is law.”

Shadepool swallowed her protests, sinking deep into a swamp of guilt. He was right, and she had worried him so much over what amounted to nothing in the end. Shadepool wanted to wail - why had StarClan sent her such a clear message if this was all that awaited her?

“Were you seen on the moors?” Tinystar asked, his tone drawn through his teeth.

Shadepool shook her head. Meekly, she answered, “There was a patrol, but I was in the tunnel when they arrived. I don't think they spotted me.” She hoped that Duskwhisker had at least done her the favor of obfuscating her presence for Crowflight's sake if they had.

Tinystar grunted. His eyes flashed to Brackenfur. “Medicine cats aren't usually in need of punishment. I'm not sure what is appropriate here. Do as you see fit, Brackenfur.”

“As you wish, Tinystar,” Brackenfur murmured.

Shadepool's heart sank. “Father, please - I had to...”

She willed him to understand - after all, he had done so many heroic things behind his leader's back before, things that Tigerstar would've been well within his rights to exile him for. But everything Tinystar had done had been for the greater good of ThunderClan, and Shadepool believed in her heart that this had been, too. Didn't that count for anything?

Tinystar stared at his daughter, and Shadepool felt his disappointment like icemelt drenching her fur, cold and unpleasant. She'd never seen her father look at her like that, and her words died in her throat as misery cascaded down on top of her.

Tinystar took the tuft of fur in his mouth and turned away, walking back to his den.

“I'm sorry, Shadepool,” Nightfrost mumbled. He drew close to her, resting a paw on her shoulder. “I tried to cover for you, but...”

Shadepool pulled away, feeling wretched and worthless. “I don't need you to speak for me,” she growled under her breath.

Nightfrost frowned. “We looked for you for half the night, you know,” he muttered. “The whole Clan. I had no idea where you'd gone. It's worse for Father, I know, but did you even think about how I'd feel?”

“Go and rest, Nightfrost,” Brackenfur meowed, drawing close. It didn't seem as if he'd overheard. “You need it.”

Shadepool heard Nightfrost take in a breath as if he might have more to say, but in the end, he dipped his head to Brackenfur with respect and padded off to the warrior's den. Shadepool watched him disappear around the curve of the thicket, imagining him curling up with Mistyfoot after he woke the next on watch.

Bitter bile rose in her throat, and she wasn't even sure what to do with it. Everything just felt so sour now.

“What is my punishment?” she asked, letting the bitterness out. “I'm sure you've had some time to think about it.”

Brackenfur's eyes flashed. “I have,” he admitted briskly. “Come to the den.”

Shadepool had little choice but to follow him. Behind her, she heard some cat wake up to take over on watch, but who it was mattered very little to her right now. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in her nest and decompose like the worthless worm she felt she was at the moment.

They wound around the lichen and passed Shadepool's nest, padding into the medicine cave one after the other. It was quiet and cold inside, the slow drip-drip of water at the back the only noise to be heard. Shadepool could make out the shapes of the herb piles that Brackenfur had been organizing while she was gone and knew that there was not enough for another moon's worth of brutal leafbare weather.

Brackenfur followed her gaze. “If you had been doing what you should have been, we might have more,” he commented. He sat in his nest, curling his tail around his paws, his injured leg sitting awkwardly. “Instead, you decided to play investigator and might have cost us more than you can possibly imagine.”

Shadepool's hackles rose. “What was I supposed to do, leave the possibility unchecked?”

“Yes!” Brackenfur snapped, raising his voice. “By StarClan - for once in your life - yes!”

Shadepool flinched, hearing his snarl echo through the cave. Her mentor's expression was twisted into exasperation, frustration, and anger. She saw his claws dig into his nest, tearing at the material.

“You don't think, Shadepool - you simply do, and you expect every cat to accept that and celebrate you!” Brackenfur hissed. “And now your recklessness has potentially put this entire Clan in danger!”

“But I wasn't caught!” Shadepool insisted. Her heart thundered in her ears.

Brackenfur lashed his tail. “You think those warriors will just ignore smelling fresh ThunderClan scent on land that they consider theirs? They will inform Mudstar, as is their duty, and Mudstar can take that as the excuse he needs to attack us!”

He thrust a paw at the herbs on display. “Do you think we can survive an attack from WindClan?”

Shadepool looked at the herbs and hung her head, ashamed. That was all the answer Brackenfur needed.

“StarClan told me to go,” she said, staring down at the stone beneath her paws. “I had a dream, saw the tunnel, and felt there was more to it all.” She lifted her muzzle. “I had to go!”

“Don't use StarClan as an excuse!” Brackenfur snarled. His tail lashed. “You should have come to me if you'd seen a sign like that! These are things we figure out together!”

The fur along Shadepool's spine bristled. It was her turn to snap: “Why? You wouldn't have believed me - you've never believed me, not once! You always treat my signs as if they aren't valid!”

“That is not true,” Brackenfur growled, looking stung. “When StarClan told you to follow your heart and go with the chosen cats, I let you, despite your inexperience - and when you spoke of the sign you saw at the Moonpool, I backed you up. It was only when you acted without thinking first that I questioned you, Shadepool.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Never otherwise.”

Shadepool curled her lip. Brackenfur's words were like warrior's blows, and she was caught beneath him while he clawed her open - doubly so regarding the Moonpool sign, which she had actually dreamed as the Clans came to the lake. She had lied to push ThunderClan to help WindClan with their civil war.

Was he telling the truth? Had Brackenfur really had faith in her this whole time?

“You worried me, your littermate, and the whole Clan,” Brackenfur went on, his voice cracking, “but worst of all, you worried your father, when that is the absolute last thing he needs right now.” He took a shuddering breath. “How do you think he would feel if you had been captured by WindClan, or worse?”

Shadepool choked on her words, unable to counter him. She hung her head again, which was once more the only answer that Brackenfur needed. Though she was confident that Crowflight wouldn't have let anything bad happen to her, she couldn't let it slip - and if Mudstar had put his mind to it, would Crowflight even be able to stop him anyway? She felt mired up to her belly in guilt.

“So what are you going to do with me?” she asked, her tone quiet. She had to admit defeat, she knew, and she braced herself for what might come next.

“If it were up to me, you'd be stuck in camp for a moon,” Brackenfur growled, “and you would do all the duties of an apprentice - but alas, with the potential thaw and the threat from WindClan, not to mention my leg, I cannot justify wasting your skills.”

Brackenfur sighed. He decided, “So, until the next half-moon, you will do nothing but focus on your work. You will scour this territory for anything of use, and you will go not a pawstep beyond our borders. To be sure of that, I will work with Tinystar to find you an escort. If you stray from their sight, we will hear of it.”

Shadepool cringed at the idea. The punishment was terrible enough, but having a constant watcher would make seeing Crowflight next to impossible for the until the half-moon.

My one bright spot in all this - gone, just like that!

“For what it's worth, Shadepool, I am sorry,” Brackenfur sighed, his expression softening. “You are so very much like your father, and I know you believed this to be the right thing to do - we all want to know what happened to Onewhisker and Barkface. I wish that it hadn't been for nothing.”

“It can't have been,” she murmured. “StarClan told me to go - why would they do that if it was a waste of time in the end?”

Brackenfur considered this, thinking while his whiskers twitched. “StarClan's will is often mysterious. Did you see anything else while you were there?”

Shadepool hesitated. Would he even believe her? Still, he had asked, so she told him the only thing she hadn't told Tinystar about the trip, talking about the shadowy cats and the things that they had told her, and how they had come from the darkness of the tunnel. Thinking of them again made her whiskers tremble as if they might appear from the darkness gathered in the cave.

“I have no idea what they meant,” she mewed, shuddering, “or what they were. But they were horrifying, Brackenfur. They felt like...” She struggled, trying to place the feeling. “Like pure evil, walking the world.”

Brackenfur looked incredibly troubled. “Then perhaps there was a reason for your journey after all,” he murmured.

“Do you know what they were?” Shadepool asked, hopeful despite the expression on her mentor's face.

Regrettably, Brackenfur shook his head. “I haven't the faintest idea,” he answered quietly, “but their presence is not comforting, to say the least. StarClan may know, and they may see fit to answer us at the next half-moon meeting. Until then - perhaps we should stay away from these tunnels if we see them.”

Shadepool nodded in agreement. She didn't want to think of what might happen if one of the warriors stumbled upon those shadow creatures - what could they possibly do against them?

Brackenfur sighed. “Go and rest, Shadepool,” he said. “Your work begins at dawn.”

Shadepool had no fight left in her. She turned away and headed for her nest, wondering if she would even get any sleep tonight, after all that had happened. She certainly didn't cherish the thought of seeing those shadowy creatures - or even the white cat - again.

Perhaps being stuck to her own territory for a while wouldn't be so bad a thing, either - she could refocus herself, try to put her energy towards helping her Clanmates and earning her father's forgiveness. It wasn't going to be that long until the next half-moon meeting, so it wasn't like she would never see Crowflight again - she just needed to be on her best behavior until this was all over.

She curled up in her nest, her pelt rippling at the chill driven deep in the moss. She tucked herself in tight, drawing her tail over her nose, hoping for any warmth. Though she could see the bright side in this situation, if she squinted, there was still something nagging at her, like the thorns dragging at her mind.

Are they right? she wondered. Brackenfur and Nightfrost?

Am I too reckless? Have I put everyone in danger by doing things the way I do? I want to keep everyone that I love safe. Is that wrong?

She closed her eyes tight and wished she had an answer that didn't make her feel like utter mouse-dung.