[TB AU] LEOPARDSTAR'S LIE -- Chapter 5 (Patreon)

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Leopardstar ruffled the fur between her shoulders. It was far warmer out than it had been a moon ago, but leaf-bare’s chill still clung to the early morning hours, when the stars still hung in the sky and dawn was not far off.

She glanced up at the moon, round and full, fading into the dawn. This Gathering had been a mix of sorrow and change – Graypool had been popular among the Clans for generations, and Mistlepaw was gone too young. Announcing their deaths had been painful, but thankfully there were no more names than theirs.

Then there was the matter of Tinystar’s change to the warrior code. How could Leopardstar not approve of it, when the other three leaders were so enthused? With greenocugh raging in her camp the past moon, Leopardstar had to admit she’d barely been able to think about whether or not Tinystar’s amendment was worth fighting.

Maybe it will be good for the Clans, in the end, she thought, leading her Clanmates into camp. She knew cats like Blackclaw would simply never be satisfied with change, but as Leopardstar looked at her Clan she knew deep down that it would never grow, and grow well, if nothing happened. Fresh blood was necessary.

She twitched her whiskers, glancing at Stormpaw and Featherpaw. And it’s not like he changed the rules about cats mating in other Clans! Some things needed to change, but not yet.

Leopardstar sighed, and breathed in the morning air. She hid a bit of discomfort as her lungs crackled just a touch. Whitecough and greencough had been purged from the camp, but some cats still felt the lingering effects, and would for some time. Leopardstar was one of them. Though she hadn’t lost a life, she’d been stuck in the medicine cat’s den for a quarter moon after Mothkit and Falconkit had recovered.

She headed for the nursery. Her kits would be missing her, she knew, and she missed them. Tawnypelt could spread the news about the new code, and Leopardstar would gladly clear up any lingering concerns… after a good nap.

Leopardstar slipped into the warmth of the nursery, breathing in the smell of her kittens gladly. Neither of them smelled sick in the slightest, thanks to WindClan and Mudfur, and they were sleeping soundly. Mosspelt must have woken early, because she wasn’t in the den. Leopardstar stepped into her nest as carefully as she dared, hoping not to wake her kittens early.

Falconkit stirred, however, and opened his eyes. “Mother?” he mumbled.

“Yes, little one, it’s me,” she whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

But Falconkit’s eyes were already blinking away sleep. “I wanna go outside,” he said.

Leopardstar frowned. Mothkit was still sound asleep, and it would be better for her if Falconkit played outside… “Alright,” she agreed. “But let Mosspelt or Tawnypelt know, and don’t get underpaw.”

Falconkit nodded. He stumbled out of the nest, shaking sleep from his limbs. Leopardstar watched him trot outside of the nursery before she laid her head down on her paws.

Her son had been distant since the greencough outbreak. Leopardstar knew that she had snapped at him unduly, under the influence of her fever, and she had hoped that her apologies would have soothed Falconkit – it seemed, however, that he was still sore. Leopardstar closed her eyes and sighed.

I’ll make it up to him, she thought. As soon as I figure out how.

———————————————————-

“Is that trout?” Mothkit asked, eyes wide. She reached out with a pale paw to poke at the fresh-kill between Leopardstar’s paws. “Can I try?”

“Not yet,” Leopardstar purred, pulling her meal away from her curious daughter. Mothkit pulled her paws back, tail-tip twitching. “You’re too young. Give it another moon.”

Mothkit wrinkled her nose. “It’s stinky anyway!” she decided.

Leopardstar purred. Finally, the sun had decided to come out and bless the forest with its warmth. How could she keep herself cooped up in the nursery? The Gathering the night before had been tiring, but Leopardstar wanted to feel the heat on her pelt, and she knew the kits would enjoy the idea of frolicking through the camp.

Well, Mothkit seemed to be happy about it, at least. Compared to her state a moon ago, she was exuberant, leaping at blades of grass or bugs and play-hunting warrior’s tails when she wasn’t begging for her mother’s meal. Falconkit, conversely, was sitting a tail-length away, watching.

“Go play,” Leopardstar encouraged.

Falconkit frowned. “There’s no kit our age to play with,” he grunted. “And Stormpaw and Featherpaw are too old for kit games.”

Leopardstar twitched her tail, swiping her tongue along her jaws. “How about you go to the elders, then? Loudbelly has a story, I’m sure.”

Falconkit sniffed, looking disinterested.

Leopardstar felt a flash of worry. Mothkit was busying herself with playing in the grass, so why was Falconkit so subdued? “What do you want to do, Falconkit?”

Falconkit turned his gaze to look at her, his pale-yellow eyes filled with what Leopardstar could only describe as curiosity. “What happened to the warrior code?” he asked. “Blackclaw and the other warriors were saying it’s changed.”

Leopardstar swallowed. She glanced down at her meal and decided that she’d had enough, pushing aside the remains to give her son her full attention.

“Tinystar – that’s ThunderClan’s leader – proposed a change to the warrior code, yes,” Leopardstar began. “He wanted to make it so cats outside the Clans who want to join us can do so if they wish. We decided that was fine and changed the code accordingly.”

Falconkit frowned. “Why?” he asked. “Aren’t those cats weaker than us?”

Leopardstar blinked, surprised at her son’s language. If Blackclaw has been filling my son’s head with his backwards notions…

“In some ways, yes,” Leopardstar agreed. “Those cats are weaker than us Clanborn cats. But… ThunderClan and ShadowClan accepted outsiders into their ranks, and it helped them grow stronger. Tinystar was a kittypet himself, seasons ago. It’s not a rule I would have changed, but there’s evidence to prove that outsiders can be capable Clan cats.”

“Wait, Tinystar was a kittypet?” Mothkit squeaked.

Leopardstar nodded at her daughter, who had stopped her frolicking to listen. Leopardstar drew Mothkit close with a paw to groom down her ruffled fur. Mothkit struggled, purring.

“He was,” Leopardstar explained between licks. “ThunderClan’s leader before him, Tigerstar, took Tinystar in as a kittypet kitten. He’s become a formidable warrior.”

“I heard he was small as a mouse, though,” Falconkit mewed, drawing a step closer. “How could he be stronger than a Clan cat?”

Leopardstar twitched her whiskers. “He’s small, yes, but you’d be surprised – he’s a very good fighter, and while he might stick his nose into the other Clan’s business too much for my liking, he’s become a respectable leader.” She smoothed down Mothkit’s cheek fur. “Far more so than what could have been.”

“What’s that mean?” Mothkit wondered.

Leopardstar sighed. “Ask Loudbelly someday,” she mewed. It was too nice a day to talk of Bluestar and LionClan. “He’ll tell you.”

“So… if loners and kittypets can join the Clans now…” Falconkit trailed off, eyes brightening. “D-Does that mean our father will join us?”

Leopardstar blinked, shocked at his question. “W-What?”

“Yeah!” Mothkit agreed, taking advantage of Leopardstar’s distraction to wiggle out of her mother’s embrace. She stood with her brother, tail up and eyes wide. “Will he?”

“I…” Leopardstar’s jaw hung open, at a loss for words. She honestly had never expected her kits to ask after their father, not so soon. She was only briefly surprised by their assumption that he was from outside the Clans – what else could they think?

She stared into their eyes, helpless for words. She’d pictured telling her kits when they were older, perhaps after their warrior ceremony. Not now, when they were still impressionable kittens.

“What’s going on here?”

Leopardstar closed her jaws, grateful to StarClan that Tawnypelt had chosen now to come over. Mothkit immediately turned to squeal at the Clan deputy, hurtling herself into Tawnypelt’s tortoiseshell fur to purr eagerly.

Falconkit was less distracted. “We heard about the change in the warrior code, and we were asking Mother if our father would join the Clan now,” he explained.

“Oh?” Tawnypelt glanced at Leopardstar, then back at Falconkit. “Well, Falconkit, is that what you want?”

Falconkit nodded. “Of course,” he mewed. “Why wouldn’t I want my father?”

“Yeah,” Mothkit agreed, tumbling out from between Tawnypelt’s legs. “He must be a really brave warrior, like Mother!”

If only they knew, Leopardstar thought, shame curdling in her belly. Once again, Tawnypelt glanced at Leopardstar, her eyes filled with sympathy.

“Well, kits,” Tawnypelt went on, “it really doesn’t matter who your father was.”

“It matters to me,” Falconkit muttered.

“Oh, little one,” Tawnypelt sighed. She looked down at Falconkit with sympathy in her eyes. “Kits are raised by the whole Clan, not just by a mother and father.”

Mothkit looked at Leopardstar. “Won’t you tell us?” she asked.

Leopardstar swallowed. How could she deny their questioning eyes? These were her children, asking so innocently after their father – but she couldn’t tell them. The words stuck in her throat. They didn’t deserve to know who Darkstripe was, and Darkstripe’s spirit, wherever it was, didn’t deserve to have his kittens know him.

“A queen doesn’t have to tell,” Leopardstar said simply. “Not if she doesn’t want to.”

Mothkit blinked, and then shrugged. She turned around and began batting at Tawnypelt’s dappled tail. Falconkit, though, frowned, his yellow eyes darkening. Leopardstar felt her heart beating in her ears. Please understand, she pleaded. It doesn’t matter who your father was – it shouldn’t!

Aren’t I enough?

“I need to talk to your mother about Clan business,” Tawnypelt meowed, her tone turning chipper. “Why don’t you kits go into the nursery for a moment? Leopardstar will join you after.”

Leopardstar expected the kits to whine, to protest, but they didn’t. Falconkit and Mothkit trotted into the nursery together, their little tails disappearing into the darkness. Leopardstar watched them go, her heart heavy.

“Was that a mistake?” she asked, when the kittens were out of earshot.

Tawnypelt frowned, her whiskers twitching in thought. “Maybe? I don’t know. Either way, it’s your decision whether or not to tell them… not to mention when.”

Leopardstar swallowed. “What if they find out on their own?”

“RiverClan is on your side,” Tawnypelt insisted. “A Clan leader’s word is law, and you don’t want any cat who might know to tell them. Your Clan must listen.”

Leopardstar closed her eyes and sighed. It would have to be enough. “Thank you, Tawnypelt.”

Tawnypelt touched her muzzle to Leopardstar’s forehead. “It’s my duty,” she mewed.

Leopardstar got to her paws, and hesitated. “Do you think I’m right to hide this?” she asked.

Her deputy looked her in the eye. “I don’t think Goldenflower ever intended to tell Brambleclaw and I that Tigerstar was our father – and that would’ve been fine by us, that ignorance. But it would have been better to hear it from her than from Tinystar in the middle of a territory battle.”

“I will tell them,” Leopardstar insisted, glancing about the clearing. It didn’t seem like any cat was listening in. “When they’re ready.” When I’m ready. “When it won’t hurt them – or the Clan – to know.”

“Good,” Tawnypelt agreed. “They might not understand why right now, but they’ll understand when they’re older.”

Leopardstar sighed, feeling relieved. “Thank StarClan for you, Tawnypelt.”

Tawnypelt purred. “I’m just doing my job, Leopardstar.”

She turned away, leaving Leopardstar to head back into the nursery. If by some miracle the kittens were asleep from their earlier play, then perhaps she could sneak out on a patrol or go hunting before they woke and clear her head.

Mothkit was sound asleep in their nest, her snores soft. Falconkit seemed to be struggling with sleep, however, yawning and blinking rapidly to keep himself awake. Leopardstar nudged him gently back into their nest, rasping her tongue against his coat.

“Don’t wanna…” Falconkit complained, stumbling onto his belly. “Don’t…”

“Rest,” Leopardstar purred, running her tongue down his spine. “You can play again later.”

Falconkit grumbled, but didn’t voice any more complaints. He stumbled over to Mothkit and lay down beside her, and soon enough his belly was rising and falling slowly with sleep.

Leopardstar watched them, for a moment. Their spotty coats were coming in, just like hers. Her eyes traced those unique dapples from ears to tail. She was proud that they got that from her. Leopardstar imagined that when Mothkit was older she’d look like a younger version of Leopardstar herself, and that made her heart swell even more.

Falconkit, on the other paw…

Will he look more like Darkstripe? She thought. They shared the same eyes and coat color already. Her heart thudded in her chest as she recalled her hazy fever hallucination. Would she be doomed to see Darkstripe whenever she looked at her son?

She fought against it. He’s my son, she thought firmly. Not Darkstripe’s. Mine – and even if he looks like Darkstripe, in the end he won’t be anywhere close.

Not if I have anything to say about it.