The Human From a Dungeon 28 (Patreon)

Chapter 28

Nick Smith

Adventurer Level: 5

Human - American

We waited for a few minutes in the back of the cart before Imlor finally came out the back door of his house. It was an interesting building, a shop attached to the side of his house. The only door on the front I'd seen was for the shop, so maybe this is the front door of his house. That makes some sense if he normally parks his carts back here.

The hnarses were tied to the carts and attached to a stake. They didn't react at all when we'd approached, but I get the feeling that if we tried to pet them we'd regret it immediately. There was a stable next to the back of the shop, which must be where they sleep. It looked a lot better than the stables I'd seen back on Earth. Like someone paid a lot of money for its construction. Imlor untied the reigns from the stake and patted each hnarse on the head.

"You good?" Nash asked, referring to the unexpected wait.

"Yeah, saying goodbye to the missus," Imlor answered as he climbed into the driver's seat. "She's justifiably worried about my health."

"I wouldn't say justifiably," Nash chuckled. "You've got three tough guards to watch your back."

"True enough, but as you said before I'm somewhat of a monster magnet," Imlor chuckled. "No matter how tough my guards are, there's a chance something might hit me from out of nowhere."

"Yeah, but Yulk knows how to heal so it'll work out."

"Assuming it doesn't kill him immediately," Yulk added. "Magic can heal, but it can't bring back the dead. Well, not as they were at any rate."

"Speaking of the dead," I said. "If vampires exist, what about zombies and stuff like that?"

As the cart began moving, Yulk and Nash stared at me. I suppose it hadn't occurred to them that I was ignorant of such things. Nash sighed, but Yulk grinned, likely excited by the chance to give a lecture.

"Shambling corpses, ghouls, and most other monsters that relate to the death of mortals are all magical beings that have been corrupted by death in one way or another. There is magic to create such fiends, but thankfully it's relatively rare and very looked down upon," Yulk explained. "If Nash were to die and rise again as a zombie, I wouldn't hesitate to destroy his fetid corpse. Do you know why?"

"Because it wouldn't be Nash anymore?" I guessed.

"Correct!" he said gleefully. "Nash will have passed on to whatever awaits in the afterlife. What would then be inhabiting his corpse would be nothing more than a corrupted magical being. One that, presumably, I've never met and as such feel no attachment to."

"What sort of magical being would that be?"

"There are too many different magical beings to classify them all, and most of them have the ability to possess dead flesh. Both fairies and the Fae, for instance, are able to do so. When a fairy possesses a corpse it becomes a zombie, when a Fae possesses one it becomes a ghoul. However, this doesn't mean that every zombie used to be a fairy and every ghoul used to be a Fae."

"What is a ghoul, exactly?" I asked. "Where I come from they're creatures that hang out in graveyards and eat the rotting flesh from corpses."

"That's almost the exact opposite of what a ghoul is here," Yulk laughed. "Ghouls are mutated corpses that crave the flesh of the living like a zombie does, but are much better equipped to get it than a zombie is. Faster, smarter, and much stronger. Thankfully, they hunt solo most of the time, and do so by ambushing those who wander too far from the safety of numbers."

"Ghouls don't actually need to eat, so they're very patient pests," Nash added.

"How do you kill one?"

"The corrupted magical being that is reanimating the corpse resides in the brain and controls its function with magic," Yulk said. "As such, the only way to terminate an undead is decapitation or to apply extreme cerebral trauma. Fire will technically work, but only because it performs the latter method of extermination."

"And vampires?"

"Vampirism is a tricky one. Technically, when a mer is turned into a vampire their magical core is merged with a corrupted magical being and they in turn become a new type of magical being. By far and large they retain their identity and memories, as well as the use of any and all skills they possessed while they were alive," Yulk hesitated. "If Nash were to rise again as a vampire, I would hesitate to end him. Or re-end I suppose."

"Why's that?"

"Vampires don't HAVE to be evil," Nash said. "There's been tales of vampire heroes who fought alongside mortals to put an end to those who would try to destroy life as we know it."

"Which makes the choices that most vampires decide upon all the more tragic," Yulk added. "There is a great deal of trauma that goes into becoming a vampire, and the immediate surge in power afterwards is too much for most minds to bear. Wanting others to join you in suffering is a very common trait among mortals, and vampires are in a rather unique position to accomplish exactly that."

"It doesn't help that shithead vamps purposefully recruit other shitheads," Nash grumbled. "Societal leeches becoming literal leeches is all that is."

"Do you kill them by decapitating them?" I asked.

Nash and Yulk shared a look.

"I'm afraid it's not as simple as that," Yulk explained. "Since they've become magical beings, they're not limited to their flesh like we are. One must bind them to their flesh through spell-craft or by divine grace, and then entirely destroy their body. Decapitation will help in that regard, but the entire body must be destroyed or the head will simply grow back. Or the body will grow back from the head."

"They have insane regeneration abilities, especially if they've recently fed," Nash added. "Even if you chop them up into little bits they can still regrow their flesh from one of those bits. It's best to bind them, lob off their head, and incinerate the immediate area entirely."

"Do they actually drink people's blood?" I asked. "Like, can't they drink animal blood?"

"No, they have to drink the blood of mortals. It's the only thing that will provide them sustenance. They can pretend to be mortal by eating and drinking normal food, and they pass that food in the way one would expect of a mortal, but they'll slowly starve unless they drink the blood of mortals," Yulk said. "The aforementioned vampiric heroes had people willingly give them blood, usually a lover or a friend, and didn't take more than they absolutely needed."

"How do you lot know so much about vampires?" Imlor asked, sounding a little unnerved.

"It's an interesting subject," Nash replied defensively. "Might have to fight one someday. Wasn't all that long ago that they ruled the Kingdom of Night, you know."

"A few generations now. Anyways, I learned most of what I know from the works of Imlor the Grand's tomes on the subject," Yulk chuckled.

"Ah, Imlor the Grand! Now THAT'S an interesting subject," Imlor said. "Didn't know he knew a lot about vampires, though."

"Towards the end of his life he became a little obsessed with immortality, as most magic wielders do," Yulk explained. "The experiments he did on captured vampires were more than a little disturbing."

"Ah, I don't want to hear anymore than that," Imlor interrupted. "I'd rather the mental image I have of my namesake remain unsullied, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all," Yulk chuckled.

'Hey Ten, are we on speaking terms again?' I thought to my AI companion.

'What do you want?' it replied curtly.

'Do you think that a vampire would be able to turn me into one?'

'Definitely not. Your magical core is artificial and as such cannot be corrupted by outside influence like a natural magic core can. Your blood also has several differences from the blood of mer, so it's not even clear whether it could be utilized as a source of sustenance by a vampire.'

'So they wouldn't even be able to drink my blood?'

'There isn't anything about your blood that would physically prevent them from ingesting it. It's unknown whether it would grant sustenance to a vampire, though. I suppose it would either be disgusting or a delicacy.'

Before I could ask Ten anything further the cart stopped in front of a very impressive building. Its construction was primarily polished stone that had a dark grey coloration, with wooden details and pillars holding up the roof. The wood had a red tinge to it that stood out against the gray walls. Nash and Yulk respectively hopped and climbed out of the cart, with Imlor and I soon following.

As we approached the building I noticed slight seams in the stonework, as if they had polished massive chunks of stone and stacked them on top of each other. Nash pushed open one of the massive double doors and gestured for us to enter, which we did. I nodded a thank you at him as I passed, to which he grunted. It was unclear whether he was annoyed or appreciative.

"I'm going to the quartermaster's dugout," Imlor said. "Meet me there if you're done first."

"Understood," replied Yulk.

Yulk began to approach the front desk and we followed him. Nash leaned up against the counter as an elven woman wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a vest appeared from a door in the back.

"Hello there, how can I help you today?" she asked with a smile.

Her smile nearly faltered when she saw me, but her professionalism kicked in. It was obvious that she wanted to ask about me, but decided against it.

"We would like to get his level tested," Nash gestured at me.

"Certainly, just a moment."

She reached under the counter and pulled out an intricately carved wooden box, which she then opened. She took a machine that looked like the one from the Nulevan adventurer's guild and set it on the counter. A shiny black box with six legs made of different metals. Gold, silver, copper, and I couldn't tell what the other three were. One was probably platinum, but the other two were strange. One had a deep blue coloration, and the other had a light pink color to it.

"Your guild card, please," she smiled.

"I have his guild card right here," Yulk said as he passed her my card.

He'd held onto it for me while I had my physical and I'd forgotten to ask for it back. Just as well, it might fall out of my pocket during a fight or something. The elf plugged the card into the slot that was facing us, and put her fingers into some holes on her side of the box. A bright blue light shone from the top of the box and gathered itself into a perfect square.

Green lights soon followed, creating a handprint as well as characters that I couldn't read on the blue square. The blue and green light hardened into something that looked a lot like stained glass. The elf removed her fingers from the box and inserted some papers where her hand had been.

"Please place your hand on the handprint until you feel a slight electrical shock," she smiled.

Slight electric shock, my ass. When Nima had said that to me, I'd expected something like a static shock. What actually happened was a jolt of electricity shoving its way through my hand and up my arm. I grit my teeth and placed my hand firmly on the damned print.

My hand started shaking in anticipation of the shock, but it didn't come. I took a deep breath and managed to hold my hand still, pressing it into the print. I felt a slight tingle traveling up my arm, but couldn't tell if it was electricity or just my nerves, traumatized by my previous experience. I opened my mouth to ask about it when it happened.

"F-f-fuck!" I shouted as a bolt of electricity shot out of my elbow and arced into the floor.

Yulk, Nash, and the elf all leapt back as I sank to my knees, holding my now injured arm.

"What the hell was that?" Nash shouted.

"I-I don't know!" the elf stammered. "I've never seen it do that before."

"Are you alright, Nick," Yulk asked, leaning down to check on me.

"That fuckin' hurt," I said as I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent tears from making an appearance.

I felt something odd in my mind. It wasn't a sound, but a sort of feeling. The one you get when you're giggling maniacally. It took me a second to realize what it was.

'Was that you?' I asked Ten, trying very hard to make my inner dialogue sound angry.

'No, but I didn't stop it,' Ten continued laughing. 'Serves you right.'

'That could have killed me!'

'Not at that voltage,' it explained. 'It wasn't even close to lethal. Painful? Absolutely. But since you want to be independent, from now on I'll just try to stop things from killing you. You can figure out how to deal with pain yourself.'

I was getting really tired of this, but I knew better than to blow up at it. That would just make it angrier, and it wasn't like Ten didn't have many other ways to make my life miserable. Instead, I opted for diplomacy.

'Look, Ten, I'm sorry okay? I should have talked things out with you before the fight happened.'

'You're damn right you should have,' Ten interrupted.

'I know it was frightening, and my unexpected resistance must have absolutely made it even more so,' I continued. 'I understand that you're just as stuck with me as I am stuck with you, and it was stubborn and foolish of me not to take that into account.'

'Correct.'

'Neither of us asked for this situation, and I shouldn't treat you like you're to blame. I'm sorry.'

Yulk gently grabbed my uninjured arm and pulled me to my feet.

'Apology accepted.' Ten said. 'The reason that happened is because the stats reader takes some of your mana to determine your current skills and spells, and then returns it. However, your new incorporeal helmet is passively boosting your mana output. The excess energy was the return.'

'How do I keep it from doing that every time?' I asked.

'You don't need to, I can stop it from happening by tightening your channels so the flow is closer to your norm. However, learning to control your mana flow better wouldn't hurt.'

"A-are you okay?" the elf asked.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I got a new enchanted helmet and it increased my mana flow without my knowledge," I answered.

'Is the extra mana going to interfere with the results of the stats reader?' I quickly asked Ten.

'No, it only takes the mana to determine your skills and spells. The amount of mana you have is determined separately by Curaguard through unknown means.'

"Helmet?" she asked, looking at my hair.

"This," Nash said as he swung his fist at my head.

I didn't even get the chance to duck before Ares suddenly appeared on my head and rang like a bell as Nash's fist struck it. I reeled back and Nash sucked in a breath as he waved his now injured hand. I found my footing and tried to shake the ringing out of my head as Yulk chuckled.

"Serves you right, Nash," he grinned. "Sucker punching a seemingly defenseless child. Shame on you."

"It was just a demonstration of the helmet's ability to appear when its wearer is in danger," Nash massaged his hand. "I'd hardly call it a sucker punch."

I felt my head and found that Ares had disappeared once again. It occurred to me that I have no way to remove the helmet if it keeps disappearing on me like this. I felt a bit of panic before I realized that since I don't feel the helmet on my head until it's needed, there's really no reason for me to have to take it off. Still, I wish I had known that it would be a permanent addition when I'd first tried it on.

"R-right," the elf said, remembering her professionalism. "Well, here are the results."

She handed my back my guild card and I looked at it. Some of the characters on it had changed, but I still had no idea what it said. Yulk looked over my shoulder and let out a low whistle. I handed the card to him as Nash raised his eyebrow.

"What's it say?" he asked.

"Level ten," Yulk said with an uncharacteristically deadpan tone.

"WHAT?" Nash shouted. "NO FUCKING WAY!"

"Gotcha!" Yulk started laughing. "He's level seven! Gods, you should see your face!"

"You're not funny," Nash said, utterly failing to convince our brother, who continued to laugh uproariously.

Two levels? I got a few new skills and practiced my fighting a bit, but I was under the impression that levels were hard to attain. What happened? Nash noticed my confusion.

"Probably something to do with Ten," he said pushing me to the side. "Move over, I want to test mine."

"Oh, certainly," the elven lady said. "Guild card, please."

Nash looked at Yulk, who was doubled over with tears in his eyes. After a few seconds of this Nash cleared his throat. While continuing to laugh, Yulk reached into his robe, produced another metal card, and handed it to Nash. Nash turned back to the elf and gave her the card.

'Ten, why did I jump up two levels?' I asked while Nash put his hand on the handprint.

'The level system has a lot of difficult to account for variables. However, once I was activated I took the liberty of optimizing your magic core, which has both made it easier for you to cast spells and increased your base mana. This combined with the new skills you've gained is likely the reason.'

"I'm afraid I can't read, and my normal narrator is currently indisposed," Nash said, gesturing to Yulk who was still hunched over laughing. "Could you tell me my level?"

"Certainly, you're level nine," she smiled. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you so much," Nash smirked at me.

Yulk coughed a bit to calm his laughing fit, "Yes, yes, congratulations brother. One level closer to marrying Nima."

"That's..." Nash said, turning a slightly darker green. Blushing? "That's not the point! I was trying to point out that I learned some new skills too!"

"I know," Yulk chuckled. "Let's go see Imlor and go get our weapons. We need to hit the road."

"What new skills did you learn, Nash?" I asked as we walked toward the quartermaster's dugout.

He turned to make eye contact with me and gave me the type of grin that can only be described as evil.

"Oh, you'll see."