Vol. 3 Chapter 13: The Disposable Pawn (Patreon)

Allie patted her clothes straight, she had a pleasant air of fragrance about her, and her hair was still a bit wet. Beforehand, she had to leave the room to go to the bathroom, and of course she consulted with the knight guarding her. To her surprise, a bathroom was prepared for her to use, which the knight told her. In fact, there was no one else there but her, which was a relief, to be honest. It would seem they have prepared that bath just for her.

Still, she didn’t expect she would be treated this well, as she was still technically a dangerous individual, it wouldn’t be strange if she was treated harshly in general. However, it didn’t happen, she was treated hospitably.

Certainly it was because of the kindness of the princess. That being said, Allie was worried that the royal family might sooner or later shun her requests, annoyed at her. It was absurd enough to let a criminal such as Allie set free without chains tied around her arms.

Allie combed her hair, making sure she appeared presentable before going to meet the princess. Although she was still waiting for someone to call her. While looking at herself in the mirror, she nodded with a faint smile. She had not seen herself when she was in her terrible state — but perhaps in the reflections in the water, or glass, or metal surfaces. Indeed, her eyes have perhaps perceived her face at times, but she chose not to see.

Maybe she was afraid of seeing herself.

However now, she looked quite better.

Although, no amount of pretty dress or thorough bath could hide what she went through. It was all on the surface, and inside, she had many doubts and still suffering.

Loneliness calls upon all kinds of nightmares.

She touched one of her scars beneath the fabric of her clothes. Her lips pursed.

She wouldn’t mind if she was always alone in the past, before her crimes. But now, she dreaded it. She wanted a company that would make her forget all the bad things.

Knockings rang on the door.

“Coming!” she frantically rushed to open the door, then greeted by Mera’s face. She had expected it would be her and still wearing that grumpy face.

“The princess calls for you. Follow.”

With a small wry smile, Allie nodded and left the room before closing the door, and locking it. She followed Mera, walking down the corridor, then arriving at the stairs.

Allie glanced at Mera, wanting to have a little talk. But the distance between them was so great, it was impossible. Ultimately in addition to the fact that she was a mere commoner, and Mera a noble, Allie wouldn’t dare talk to her as equals, not anymore. Even though she wanted to, she truly wanted to.

With sad eyes, she lowered her gaze. Mera on the other hand didn’t even bother to give her a glance.

Eventually, upstairs, they arrived at a room and entered. The princess was already inside along with her other servants, sitting by a long table. The windows were open, letting the gentle wind inside, and the curtains apart, letting the morning sun light up the room. On the table placed already several steel plates, and dishes covered with lids.

The princess turned her head to look at Allie with a gentle smile. At her ever-so-kind face, Allie felt elated. Her worries, her sadness, and her memories of suffering seemed to be fading away.

“Sit with me,” the princess said.

Allie walked towards the chair pointed by the princess, opposite the latter. Mera stood by the wall, and the knight guarding Allie stood on the wall behind her.

“Yo.”

“Rogan.”

The two knights briefly greeted each other.

“Let us dine.”

The princess signaled for her attendants to open the covered food, the pleasant smell immediately permeating the air.

And thus, they began dining. Just the two of them.

“So, how was yesterday? I hope you had a good time in the kitchen.”

“It… It was wonderful. Being in the kitchen makes me so happy. I had a great time.”

Allie smiled genuinely.

“I’m glad. Did you try cooking? Is your skill still the same as ever?”

“... Well… to be honest, it was a strange feeling at first. My hands were shaking when I hold the knife to cut the ingredients. It… it has been so long.”

“And the taste? I remember you have particularly delicious food in the past.”

“I think… I think they are good. But I still need some time to practice.”

The princess sweetly smiled. “Wonderful. I do miss your cooking.”

“R-Really?”

“Yes… your cooking was different from the others, superior.”

“...”

Embarrassed, Allie averted her gaze. She had tried tasting her own food, which was delicious in her opinion. However, she feared that her imprisonment and the lack of good food had changed her sense of taste. She feared that what she tasted delicious, would be stale to the princess.

“In any case, please tell me what you tried cooking. I am quite interested.”

Allie returned her gaze to the princess. She was still feeling embarrassed, but she told the princess about her experience in the kitchen. The princess listened with full attention, her eyes shining in anticipation.

This made Allie recall her interaction in the past with the princess. Those were bizarre moments, but she did feel happy that the princess found her food delicious enough to make her a personal chef.

As she told the story to the princess, Allie felt elation. Her terrible experience in the dungeon had slipped away from her mind, as she was immersed in conversing with the princess.

This was the companionship that she was searching for. With the princess, she didn’t feel lonely, no sadness, no pain. It was just peace and happiness.

Before she knew it, they have eaten all the food on the table.

“Oh my, looks like a ate a lot more than I intended,” said the princess. “But they are delicious. Your former co-workers have improved a lot.”

“... That’s great.”

Indeed it was.

The princess drank her juice, then ordered for the empty plates to be removed from the table, which was then placed on a small table in the corner. It would seem they were not yet finished.

“Now then, I would like to talk about something important, Allie.”

The princess raised her eyes to look at the guard looking out for Allie. “Leave the room for a while.”

“Understood.”

The knight left and Rogan locked the door.

“Allie, you said you will help me, yes?”

“...Yes.”

“Alright. Your role will be vital, you could even say you will be the central point in all of this.”

Allie swallowed nervously. “W-What will I be doing?”

“Well, first, you will need to prepare yourself. You will be going into the city. The last base you know is in the city, right?”

“... Yes, it was in the city.”

“Where exactly?”

“It has been years ago. But, it is on the western part of the city.”

Princess turned her gaze towards the old man. “Map.”

The old man unfurled a map and placed it on the table before stepping back.

“If you would point where it is, please.”

Allie stared at the map and recalled where it was. She couldn’t tell exactly, but she knew roughly where it was by basing on the gate, the roads, and the distance from the park.

She pointed with her index finger. “I-It should be around here.”

“Hm. I see. So this was years ago, how do you communicate with them?”

“I-I was frequently sent to report to others. But not so much as there was not much to report.”

“What is the report about?”

“Typically about you, princess.”

“Me?”

“Your actions, where you go, how you behave, your hobbies, things that Oryn observed. I don’t know why. They seem to be particular about how you move about in the palace.”

“Huh. So they still send you. I was aware that Oryn had other means of communication.”

“Oryn mentioned that the allies in the city only have that means, and he does not, just to be safe, and less risky. And that mean of communication is only made for important matters.”

“Why are they so particular about how I move around the palace?”

“I don’t know… I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright… How do you meet with your friends normally?”

“...I am to go to a public place, all in sequence. First would meet in the park in the western part of the city, the north, then the east. After that, the market. Then repeat again.”

“Are you the one reaching out to them, or do they just approach you?”

“They reach out to me, then they would go ahead and I would follow behind, leading me to a secluded area or a place without strangers’ ears to listen.”

“Which kind do you meet? Are they the ones who long pointy ears, or those with animal features?”

Allie was surprised that the princess would know their characteristics.

“I always meet with the beastmen.”

“Beastmen…?”

“They are the ones that have animal features. Usually with animal ears and tails.”

The princess shifted her eyes to the side for a moment as if thinking. “Interesting. As for those with pointy ears.”

“They… they are called elves.”

“Hm.” the princess smiled while nodding. “So they must be covering their body always then.”

“Sometimes they cover themselves with cloaks, but they also cover their heads with a hat or just a hood.”

“I see. The one that you believe that cared about you the most… what are they?”

“He’s… he’s a beastman.”

“Oh? How kind is he with you?”

“He, he was the first to approach me when I ran away from the monsters that destroyed my home. He looked so kind. He gives me comfort, covers me with sheets when it is cold and gives me food when hungry. Even though the elves were mean to me, he was there to stop them.”

“... what animal features does he have?”

“Like a dog...”

“A dog… huh… Were the other beastmen kind to you.”

“They were kind, they didn’t treat me very harshly. Although, some were keeping their distance from me.”

“I wonder… there is something I realized, Allie. They took you in, but they gave you such a dangerous task… Killing me I mean…”

“I… yes…”

“They made you do it, they even made you enter the palace.”

“...”

“They made you do something that absolutely dooms you. If you succeeded, do you know what will happen to you?”

“...”

“Allie…? What would have happened to you?”

Allie opened her mouth, but then closed them again. She knew the answer, but she was hesitating to utter it.

“Allie…?”

Allie gazed into the princess’s eyes, her expression was of sadness.

It pained Allie to see that the princess was still feeling such a thing toward her.

“I… I would still… still be killed.”

“Yes. The moment I die because of that poison, you will be struck down right there and then. There would be no escape. Even if you are not slain, you would have met a much harsher fate the moment you are apprehended.”

“...”

“They gave you such a dangerous task, they wanted their ambitions accomplished, at the cost of yours.”

Allie clenched her skirt. That was what Allie had been feeling in that dreadful prison.

“They were willing to sacrifice you, to cast you away, don’t you think? How cruel can they be…”

“...” Tears began flowing out of Allie’s eyes. Pain in her heart.

“Ah, I’m s-sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

The princess frantically pulled out a handkerchief and reached out to gently rub the tears off Allie’s face.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No… No… you have nothing to be sorry about, princess.”

The princess was not at fault, for she had only stated what can be the truth. Doubt now overtook the trust she once have in her friends. Was she disposable from the very beginning? Did they take her in just to have her support Oryn, and then when all things fail, have her sacrifice herself?

Allie had a goal, a dream, an ambition, things that she wanted to achieve. And she threw it all away, for her friends. Was that being noble, or being a fool? Her heart pained so much whenever the thought that her friends cast her away, thrown her into the lion’s den, and left her as food for the beast, came to mind.

Did she even ever have value in their eyes?

“Even so, I still apologize. I should have stopped talking…”

“...You have no fault, princess…”

“... I-Is that so…? Alright…” the princess directed a concerned look toward Allie. “I still have other questions, but we can stop for today.”

“N-No… I’m okay…” Allie rubbed her own tears. “Feel free to ask me anything, princess.”

The princess smiled softly. “Very well.”

And then they talked, the princess asked, and Allie answered.

Eventually, they talked about what to do with Allie’s scars.