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Thursday, December 26th: Mr. Diary, It's Christmas post or whatever the day after Christmas is called. I spent all morning with mom. Well until 9 a.m. then she had to go to work. She read me a story and tucked me in last night. It was kind of corny, but I kind of liked it at the same time. I wore another nightdress but without fur, and mom said I looked absolutely adorable.

Anyways I let mom pick out the clothes for me to wear today. I mean, she never had a little girl to do it for, so I figured why not. I was scared she picked out something totally sissy, baby. But mom picked out this white overall thing. It's like overalls, but it has a dress and no pant legs. It comes to my knee. I think girls try to always let their legs show for some dumb reason. I also have a hot pink long sleeve shirt on. I think it would have looked pretty cool if it were a dark shirt. But why couldn't it be green or blue, heck, even dark purple? Not a light purple because that's just so girly.

And I'm in sneakers, thank god. My feet were hurting being in dressy black shoes most of yesterday.

Mom also did my hair. I think she likes this, and I smiled the whole time. I wasn't smiling because I like getting my hair brushed or nails done. Which mom did to match my shirt too. I smiled because my mom was so happy and enjoying it so much. I think if I knew mom was going to be this happy, that maybe I would have done it and not even got the computer.

OK, Mom hooked me into AOL, where you chat with people. It's so cool.

Mom left for work after that. I hate my mom's job timing. I wish she had a job that she worked until I got home from school.

Anyway, Aunt and I decided to go to Wal-Mart. We could have gone to the mall, but that was 40 miles away, and my gift card was from Walmart anyway. I could have waited until I was done being a fruitcake son in a dress gift, but I wanted to get mom a real gift.

Walmart was insane; everyone in the world was there, which was terrible. My friend John saw me. He said Tommy, and I was like a total dumbass. I said, what's up. So now all my friends will know I'm some kind of fruitcake. I should have said who or just ignored him like that wasn't my name. I tried to explain why I was doing this, but he kept looking at me like I was a freak.

I wanted to cry. Really I do, but that would have been a million times worse. If I started to cry in a dress, I had to move to Russia or something because I would have no friends. When I go back to school, I will have to fight someone. I don't know who, but it's going to be the only way to show I'm not some kind of fruitcake wimpy sissy fag.

Now here is the weird thing. I ran into Sam. Sam is a girl. Her real name was Samantha, but everyone says, Sam. Anyway, she saw me too. I was like, great, all the boys know I'm was fruitcake for Christmas, and now all the girls will also know.

She was like Tommy! And I smiled back. She was like, wow, you're in a dress. I told her about the computer, and she said that was cool. She said she didn't recognize me. She liked my outfit and said I was sweet.

Samantha asked me if I liked being a girl. I told her I wanted to make my mom happy, but she said that's not the question. I told her I didn't know how I liked being a girl. She said fair enough, but I should think about it because I looked adorable as one. She couldn't say anything else. And she left.

Wandering around Walmart, I thought about what gift I could buy for my mom; in the end, I got my mom an authentic 13-carat gold plated watch. The mom's wedding ring was only a 1-carat diamond, so this must be 13 times better. It was charming and cost 20 bucks.

After gift shopping, I went over to the toys section. It was weird. I got 200 bucks, and I didn't want anything. It was very hard to shop for something cool when you were in a sissy dress. I did see something cool, but I don't think those little oven gloves things are for boys, and if someone else saw and I was buying girl stuff, I'd never leave my home.

I went looking at software for the computer and games for the PS2. Nothing looked good; this stupid dress ruins everything. Every time I looked at something, it seemed too violent. There was a nice chain there with a teddy bear on it. OMG, what I was thinking. So other than the watch for mom, I didn't buy anything. Mr. Diary, you are making me nuts, so goodbye today.

Friday, December 27th: Dear Ms. Diary.

I decided to call you Ms because you are pink.

I gave my mom the watch last night, and she loved it. She told me what she did to get such a kind, thoughtful, beautiful little daughter. I wish she would stop calling me beautiful.

I like spending time with my mom. I helped her in the kitchen, and she taught me how to make chicken nuggets. It was enjoyable to cook and help.

We ate and then sat on the couch and watched a sad movie. It was about a fruitcake guy like me, but he was black and dressed like Tina Turner. I don't know who that was, but mom told me. He worked as a drag singer, which means he dresses like a girl pretend like I do. But he was taking care of this sister because her mother was on drugs. It was so sad I was crying.

I never cry at stupid sissy stuff like this movie. But last night, I was cuddling in Mom's arms and crying because it was so sad. Mom said it was ok to cry.

OK, so anyway, I told my Aunt I watched the sad movie, and she knew I cried during it, as mom called her last night. Long story short, my Aunt agreed to take me to see Lord of the Rings. Mom picked out my clothes again; it was a denim dress. Just like Sam's, but it didn't have the flowers. I wish it did; it made it look cute. What I am saying.

I need to write in pencil so I can erase stupid stuff.

I was watching it and thought that the one boy was really cute. I don't know why but I was like, what if he rode in and picked me up, and we rode off, and he was my boyfriend. I wanted to barf. I didn't like to think about it. It just popped in there and popped out. But I wanted to tell you ms. Diary if I need to sue my Aunt for turning me into a girl.

I decided to go use the toilet. I told my Aunt, and she reminded me to use the right one. I said boys, and she was like; NO, you'd get kicked out. She told me to make sure I sit when I go make. OK, I have never been into a girl's toilet before. It was weird, clean, and nothing was written on the wall.

One benefit that girls have is to pull down undies and sit and go. You don't have to worry about pants, and you don't have to worry about getting your thing caught in the zipper, which really hurts.

The movie was long, and it was OK. But it took forever and was to be continued. What a rip-off. We then went to McDonald's. I got a big mac. Some stuff got on my dress; it made me mad; they always make the burgers sloppy, and now my dress got stained on it. We went home right after and washed.

So this is it, for now, Diary; I am too exhausted to write any more; see you tomorrow.

Saturday, December 28th: Okay, Mrs. Diary, I must admit it was fun playing with the doll, and I am glad I received one as a gift. I named her Amy; Suddenly, my aunt stepped in and caught me. I could have died right then. She remarked how cute I was. Oh my gosh, that was embarrassing. Then I threw baby Amy in the corner, telling her I was pretending to feel what it was like. "Okay," she replied, then walked away. Hopefully, she believed me.

At that point, it got even weirder. I ran towards Amy and apologized. Although I did not intend to throw her, what else could I have done? I hope I haven't come off as a total wimp. Nevertheless, I kissed her on the forehead, apologized, and put her to sleep in her crib. I don't have a crib, but I used a blanket instead.

I have to say that I am looking forward to starting up again school. Before long, or else I would start acting like a real fruitcake instead of the pretend one. Anyway, I got to pick out my own clothes today, as long as they were Tammy clothes. I picked out a nice outfit that I thought was perfect for me! I found this really lovely blue cotton dress. It didn't have a bottom that went out far like the other stuff. It just went straight down. I didn't feel like poofing out today. I also put on white tights because it's cold. The dress was just plain blue; I wish I had a neckless or something to go with it. I don't know, but I can tell you that I'm going nuts.

Dressing, I got a call from Glenn and Alexis's house to train me a little on babysitting. I got there, and thank God I didn't match little Tonya. Okay, Glenn showed me where they kept all the emergency numbers and a list of things Tonya can't eat; I found out that she can't eat oranges or anything with lemon in it. Then he showed me how to change her diaper. Okay, this was weird. Glenn put Tonya on a towel and untied her diaper.

Here is the weird thing, I finally saw the girl's private thing, and you know what the first thing I thought about was. I never saw what a girl had before. I knew it was different, but I never saw it. It's not just a hole like my friends say. It's kinda cute, I guess. Now I figured it would be something dirty, but no. I was like, I wonder what it's like to have one. Okay, maybe it's because Tonya is a baby, and I'm not going to think anything dirty about a baby that would just be wrong. But why would I think about having one?

Well anyway. I practiced putting Tonya in the diaper. It was effortless, and she didn't fuss or cry or anything.

It was then time for the baby to nap, and I got to give her a bottle of juice. Although she can slip through the cup, Glenn recommends that she use a bottle during her nap time, which is at 4 o'clock. Well, I held her in my arms and watched her fall asleep. It gave me warm, fuzzy feelings on the inside. I carried her and put her in her crib. Unlike my doll Amy, she sleeps in a real crib.

Glenn then asks how I'm liking being a girl for a while. As soon as I told him how I was feeling, he asked me what was bothering me. I did not elaborate, only said it was driving me crazy. "You look stunning," he said. My mind begins to wander like a fruitcake.

That was a mean trick. But I guess I do seem cute as a girl. The problem is I might be cuter as a girl than I am as a boy. Since this will end next Monday, I don't care anymore about it. Sam invited me to stay over at her house the following night, and mom agreed. Mom said it would be an enjoyable experience. As they know I'm a girl for Christmas, I'll go by Tammy. So now I can do spy stuff. I'm not a sissy or a fruitcake. Just a spy to see how girls live and get stuff to use against them. Okay, I'm a cute spy. Bye, Mrs. Diary.

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