Not One of the Girls - Part 4 (Patreon)

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The next day Mum suggested I should wear jeans instead of shorts. Like hello, I told her; it's the middle of summer! So I put on my blue shorts and a yellow top and waited for the geek to arrive. When he did he was worse than I had imagined. He had really short hair and thick glasses like a real dweeb. Mum sat in the garden with her friend and made me take him up to my bedroom to listen to music. I asked him what he liked, but he didn't seem to know, so I just played some stuff I liked. I danced to it a bit like I do when I'm with the others, but he just sat on the bed looking stupid.

Then he suggested we played football. Like, do I look like I want to play football? I hate it! I occasionally kick a ball with Anna and Billie, but no way did I want to play football with him! I mean, he could see I was wearing my blue sandals with the side buckle, so did he really think I'd want to kick a ball around?

He was put out that I said no, so I offered him some of my magazines to read. He said they were girls' comics, the cheeky bastard, just because they were about music and fashion and stuff like that. I told him that boys could be interested in clothes and music as much as girls, but he just made a funny noise. This was going really badly, so I suggested we watch some TV. There was a cute show on about some people who'd made a sort of babysitting club, but he made me switch that over so he could watch a stupid cartoon about robots. I left him to it and read one of my magazines.

So we sat there like that for about half an hour. And he was so irritating! Every time one of the cartoon robots got really hurt, and sort of fell apart or anything, he sniggered to himself. It was gross, it really was! It sounded like he was about to drop a load of snot from his nose every time he laughed. I was totally disgusted, as you can imagine!

I was rescued when my cell rang. It was from Kelly. She didn't want anything special, just to chat, which was good. Snot features, as I had started calling him to myself, went over and turned the telly up so I could hardly hear what Kelly was saying! I stood up and walked out into the corridor, and we carried on our chat out there. Kelly can be really funny, and she was that day. Apparently, John Carpenter, who is in the year above us, had shown his Willy to Mary Morgan in the park the night before! Gross! We had a good laugh about how small his Willy probably was, and whether it had fungus on it and stuff like that.

So by the time I went back into the bedroom, I was quite giddy from all that laughing. I'd almost forgotten about Snot Features, so I was really shocked to see him there, looking at the stuff on the table in front of my mirror. He wanted to know why I had so much girl's stuff. Like, what was wrong with him? He was sniffing one of my scent bottles and saying it was a girl's perfume. I snatched it off him and said it was unisex, and he was too stupid to tell the difference. He said that it smelt of flowers, which made it a girl's perfume, and then he wanted to know why I had so many nail varnishes. I told him it was none of his business and told him to leave them alone. Honestly, these public school types know nothing, and I mean nothing, about fashion! Boys can wear nail varnish just as well as girls.

I turned my back on him and was about to go back to reading my magazine when he suddenly made a funny noise. I asked him what the matter was, but all he did was the point at the back of my shorts. I had a look. My thong had ridden up a bit, and you could see it, but like so what? It was one of my better ones, with a little rhinestone diamond where the strings cross over. He was just so gross! If he got upset by seeing someone's thong, then, well, he just shouldn't look, should he?

Well, like if it was possible, things got worse from then on. He said I was a fairy who wore girl's stuff all the time. I told him he was a snotty little geek, who would never get a girlfriend because all girls hated him. He said I wanted to snog boys, and that's why I dressed like I did! As if! I told him he'd only said that because he wanted to snog me because he was a poof. He said I was the poof because I was wearing a girl's knickers! I told him he was stupid, and that the only reason he thought they were girl's knickers was that he'd never seen a girl in her knickers because all girls hated him! Then he said that the only reason girls showed me their knickers, was that they thought I was one of them! A girl that is, not a poof. Well, I was so angry with him that I just stepped right up to him and slapped him around the face!

Well like it wasn't really a hard slap, I'm not much of a fighter; I hate that sort of stuff. But you'd have thought I'd hit him with a hammer or something. He just stared at me for a few seconds and then started screaming. Obviously, both our mothers came upstairs, and there was yet another scene. Mum asked me why I'd hit him, and I told her it was because he was rude about my underwear! His Mum must have seen my thong as well because she said to my Mum that she shouldn't allow me to wear stuff like that. Well, Mum got pretty cross as well, and to cut a long story short they were both sorts of ushered out of the building pretty quickly. Good riddance to Snot Features, I thought to myself.

Mum gave me another lecture, which was just so embarrassing. She said that if I decided to wear a girl's knickers, then I had to be careful about who saw them. I did tell her they were unisex, but she ignored me and said that even girls had to be careful about showing their knickers and stuff like that. Then she asked me if thongs were really comfortable. Like she wears old people's knickers most of the time. I said they were really good, and she said she might try some. Maybe we could go shopping together, and stuff like that. I was a bit surprised, but at least we were still friends.

Getting rid of Snot Features was cool. It meant I had the rest of the day to myself. I decided to ring Jess and see what she was doing. She was at home, so I said I'd go round. Mum seemed a bit put out about this, I think she was looking for one of those parent-child days, but I didn't let this put me off, and went over to Jess's as soon as I could.

When I got there I told her about John Carpenter and him showing his Willy. We had a real laugh about that, and Jess reminded me of the time when that old tramp in the park had flashed the five of us the summer before, like when we were only twelve! Like his, Willy had been really gross, and it was all hard and up in the air when he'd dropped his trousers.

She told me that while I was being tortured by having to spend the morning with Snot Features, she'd gone shopping again. What was she like? She'd bought herself yet another dress. She had to be careful, being redheaded, when it came to colors. She'd picked out a really nice sleeveless one with a round neck in a sort of crimson. I wasn't sure that was the right shade for her, but I didn't say anything, because she seemed so pleased with it. Instead, I told her it looked really good, and why didn't she try it on to show me.

She didn't take much persuading. You know what it's like when you've just bought something and you want your friends to see. It looked really good on her, much better than I'd imagined. I helped her tie her hair back, so she'd look even, like posher, in it, and she reminded me that I was supposed to be the posh one. That made us laugh as well.

Then she asked if I wanted to try it on. I said no, it was hers, but she said that I ought to try it on because it might suit me, and I could always get one myself if I liked it. I said we'd look silly wearing the same thing, like twins or something, but she kept going on at me. I sort of reminded her that even if I was going to be Posh Spice, I was still, like, a boy, and boys didn't really wear dresses. She said that was silly, and that I'd worn a dress the night before anyway, and that I was as good as any girl, and I should wear a dress if I wanted to.

I was still a bit doubtful, especially with all this they think of me as one of the girl's stuff from Mum, but in the end, I gave in and put the dress on. I had to admit it looked fantastic on me, better than it did on her actually, but I didn't say that to her, it wouldn't have been nice. It was baggy at the front like the LBD from the night before, and Jess found me a bra to put on to fill it out a bit. That made it look even better, especially when we found some old socks to pad me out a bit. She tied my hair back for me into a sort of ponytail and persuaded me to put a bit of makeup on as well, just for the effect.

Her Mum came in then, which was a bit embarrassing! I mean, Jess was just standing around in her underwear, but her Mum seemed cool about it and said it was a good idea for me to practice wearing dresses if I was going to be a good Posh Spice for the carnival. Then Jess had an idea. We could go round to see Anna with me wearing the dress! I knew Anna thought I looked cute sometimes when I wore the sort of unisex tops and things, and I sort of wondered if she might like to see me in a dress again. She had said I looked really hot when we'd tried to get into that club, and I'd borrowed one of Jess's dresses. So I sort of agreed, but I said I should wear the LBD from the night before, and that Jess should wear her new one.

Jess's Mum said that my blue sandals didn't go with the black dress, which was a fair point, and she made me try on some of Jess's shoes. In the end, I went with the pair we had decided the night before looked best. She also said I needed to change my makeup because Jess had done it to match the red dress. It felt a bit odd, but I agreed, and she did it differently for me. She's dead good at makeup, is Jess's Mum, especially for a wrinkly, and I was amazed when I looked in the mirror and saw myself. I looked just so much older. I just hoped that Anna would still think I looked cute.

Then we left. It felt odd to be dressed so posh in the middle of the afternoon, and we got some funny looks from people, which made us laugh. Halfway there, you'd never guess who we saw walking along the road. John Carpenter! We giggled so much we nearly wet ourselves, and to make it worse, he stopped to talk to us. He was really flirty too, which made us giggle even more. In the end, Jess asked him if he was going out with Mary Morgan, and that made him look a bit embarrassed.

He started talking to me then and said that he had always thought I was a boy. I didn't know what he was talking about, and he kept going on about me always wearing trousers to school. Well, like that's the uniform John, I thought to myself. Then I realized what he meant! Ooops, I was wearing a dress of course, and probably looked a bit like a girl, what with the bra and the makeup. I felt myself blushing and told him we had to be going.

Jess thought it was hilarious that he had decided I was a girl, but I was a bit embarrassed. When we got back to school it could get really confusing after all, if he still thought that! She said he probably fancied me, but I told her that was ridiculous because we were both boys, which made her laugh even more. She was still laughing when we got to Anna's place.

Anna's older sister opened the door. She's eighteen, and nearly as hot to look at as Anna. In fact, they look very similar, except that Anna smiles a bit more. She looked us up and down, and I sort of thought, God, she thinks we're dressed really weirdly for the middle of the day, in posh dresses and things like that. She just shrugged, and let us through. She called up to Anna saying it was Jess and 'that boy', like I didn't have a name! But at least she didn't think I was a girl, I supposed, so I sort of forgave her.

My heart was like up in my mouth a bit when I heard Anna coming down the stairs. She hadn't seen me in this dress before, so I was a bit scared as to what she might think. I knew she wasn't one of those girls who think that boys shouldn't wear nice stuff, but she might still think this one didn't suit me. And, of course, she hadn't often seen me with this much makeup on.

Still, there was nothing for it. I had to wait for her to see what her reaction might be. I needn't have worried. She seemed to think I looked nice. She asked me to turn around a bit, so she could sort of seeing the full effect, and, well, I felt sort of naked knowing she was looking at me so closely. Then she noticed I had boobs for a change. She stared at them for a few minutes, and I was like, well, maybe she doesn't like me with boobs. Then she grinned and said they suited me, and asked me and Jess what we had used. I told her, and she said they didn't look bad, which made me feel really good. Her sister came back and wanted to know why I was dressed like that. Well duh! Anna had already told her about the Spice Girls thing, so she should have guessed. She looked me all over as well, and I felt naked again, but she said I looked pretty much like the real thing, whatever that might have meant.

Anna took us through to the kitchen and we had some juice. I was a bit worried in case I spilt any on my dress, but I managed to do all right. Jess told her that John Carpenter fancied me, which was just so embarrassing! I hid my face in shame, but Anna just seemed to think it was funny. I was a bit upset that she wasn't jealous or anything, and I was about to go into a mood when she started looking at the top of my dress again and saying how good I looked. Mental note to me; think about wearing a bra more often when Anna is around.

We went up to Anna's room and had a good time listening to some music for a couple of hours. Then she said she was going to have a shower, and we should meet up again the day after. Fair enough. I was getting a bit tired and thought I might as well go home. Then it struck me that I'd left my shorts over at Jess's place. I wondered whether I should go back and get them, but Jess said it was all right for me to leave them there. And as for the dress, as I was going to wear it to the carnival anyway, I might as well take it then. She said she'd bring my shorts along when we'd decided what we were doing the next day.