My cat Marla (Patreon)

Some of you might know that I have a cat named Marla. This week, my partner and I decided that, after Marla started showing signs of rapid decline and our vet informing us that we wouldn't be able to reverse it, euthanasia was the most humane thing we can do for our beloved companion. We want to make sure that we are doing what's best for her, not us. We don't want to keep her alive in extreme discomfort and fear - just for our sake. It's one of the hardest decisions I've made in my entire life and I'm dreading the time when the procedure will happen. 

Before that, I wanted to share a little bit about her (this is therapeutic for me) as I continue to process things.

I adopted Marla when she was an adult on June 6, 2014, from a home that didn't want her. From a foster with cats the bullied her. She was overweight, unhealthy, and really anxious. To me, she was imperfectly perfect. She was called "Miss Addy", but we all knew that name wasn't right.

We had a rocky start. I had never had a cat before and it took a while for me to learn the ropes. But we soon developed a strong bond. Because of her upbringing, Marla has never been the cuddly type of cat. But she always wanted to be around us. She always wanted to know that we were within arms reach for pets/scratches/play time. She needed a family as much as I needed one. 

Marla and I survived an abusive relationship together. We supported each other as we recovered from it and grew stronger together. My partner Sarah became what we liked to call "her long lost mom". I had an incident in the winter of 2018, and both of them are the reason why I am able to write this post in the first place.  

I love everything about Marla. Her sassy personality, her menacing glare, her huge green eyes, and the way she squeaks (she never meows). She loves food, sleep, basking in the sun, her mom and dad, her hacky sack (we call it her "Bébé" like Moira from Schitt's Creek), and John Wick.

We're now just doing our best to provide her with all the love we can. She's got her favourite foods, all of the cuddles she'd like, and even watched one of her favourite movies, John Wick 2. 

Seriously. She's been fearful, anxious, and in pain for the past few days. When we watched the movie together last night, it was like her pain disappeared. I had a thought today that watching violent movies with her favourite ass-kicking character took her pain away. 

Our family of three will soon be two and there will be a round, furry hole in our lives forever. I'm not ready to lose Marla, but this is the most loving thing we can do for her. We're comforted in the fact that the vet confirmed that we did everything right as cat parents. She's at least 18 years old and developed no chronic illnesses. This is nature taking its course and it would be cruel of us to prevent that for our selfish needs. 

Marla helped us realize how full of love our lives could be and how much joy we all deserved. 

- DK