An Infomercial You Don't Want To Miss (Patreon)

This is a strange one. Had a random idea to write something a little more humorous than usual. Not quite a [Scrap], but not quite anything else. So here it is. Enjoy!

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Got a boss you just hate, a coworker you just can't stand, or even a friend that just needs to be taken down a peg?

Then look no further! I, Mama Lace, have the perfect invention for every scenario you can think of. Just plug my patented Diaper Dependency Device, or DDD, into any nearby outlet and watch as that pain in your ass becomes nothing more than your obedient diaper dork. Well, that is if you're also wearing a pair of Mama Lace's Love Diapers. Thankfully, for just some amount of arbitrary payments, you can receive both in three neat packages at your door tomorrow -- or at some point in the near future! But don't take my word for it, just ask these buyers what they have to say about my Diaper Dependency System.

Marta Herrera - Age 27 - "Yeah. So my boss was really getting on my nerves. Always asking me to do the most random shit. Stuff both beneath and way above my pay grade. I couldn't stand it anymore. So I listened to Mama Lace and bought her Diaper Dependency System. I put the DDD in her office; wore the special Love Diapers; and the next thing I knew, I had my boss peeing her panties under my desk as she desperately tried to run her face on my diapered crotch. Now I've got her double-diapered and dependent on me daily. No more dumb coffee runs, just lots of begging to get a whiff of my soaked pamps. Thanks Mama Lace!"

Wow! Well there ya have it.

But you may be thinking, "Mama Lace, I don't like diapers. Is there any way I can give that stuck up guy in my college psych class his comeuppance without flooding my shorts?"

To that I say, well ya gotta like diapers. Like, why are you even watching and thinking about this ad if you don't like diapers? Maybe pause this video, try one on, soak it, and come back. Don't worry, I'll wait…

...but I don't really have to since this is a video and you can just pause it. Or, you're reading the transcription and you can just start and stop at any point. Isn't reading fun? Anyway, the point is, yes! You don't need to have a sagging diaper between your thighs to use and enjoy my product. You just have to plant a Love Diaper near the DDD and watch the magic happen. I'll let Hazel explain.

Hazel Jean - Age 22 - "So I'm drunk...or high...I don't remember it was like three in the morning. But I see this weird ad having to do with diapers or some shit. I'm about to turn it off when Mommy Lacy mentions that I can use these Love Diapers or whatever to just absolutely ruin someone's day. So I've got this asshole, Garret, in one of my morning classes. He lives across the hall in my dorm and leaves his door open a lot; so I just plug the device in, toss the diaper on the floor, and leave. Next morning, I catch him waddling to class with piss trickling out from his shorts legs. Rumors start spreading about this guy. Terrible stuff. But they all turn out to be true! Garret's now addicted to diapers. Sexually, physically, mentally. He's a diaper loving loser now. And I think to myself...yo, that's hilarious but also kinda fucked I thought this was just gonna be for th--

Anyway, that's enough out of Hazel. As you can see, it just works. The facts are there and now, you too can earn the privilege of having these objects sent to your house in very not discreet packaging. Don't want to? Too bad, you've either watched or read this far and now the subtle hypnosis track I've been playing and the subliminal messages I've snuck into my dialogue are affecting you. So get out your credit card and start pissin' those panties, you've got diapers to buy!